Edited on 3/2: D papers still not served. I can still change the letter if you think I need to. I think it's okay, but would like some oldtimers' opinions, please.

Here is my Plan B letter. It is probably going to be delivered at the same time he is served with D papers.

She had dumped him around Christmas. He wrote her a letter last week BEGGING her to see him or talk to him again. Apparently she gave in - they are talking again and he just bought her another new secret cell phone to do it on.

The letter is almost a pure MB plan B letter with just a couple of personal items thrown in. I sent it to Steve also. Thanks for your comments, or suggestions. It hasn't been sent just yet, but probably soon. Thanks to all.

My Dear .....,

I have loved you since the first moment I ever saw you. I have loved you all of my adult life. I still love you now, and will probably always love you. It is so ingrained in me, I doubt that I could quit loving you if I tried. But I cannot live this way any longer.
I apologize to you for my part in creating an environment that helped make your affair with ..... possible. I put emphasis on the wrong things, and didn’t truly recognize the things I was not doing. I am willing to avoid the mistakes I’ve made in the past and create a new life for both of us that will meet your needs. I have already shown a willingness to change. But I cannot do anything more until you end your relationship with ..... once and for all.
Until then, I will avoid seeing you or talking to you. If you wish to communicate with me about any legal matters, you can call (lawyer). If you need to communicate regarding our joint tax return, contact (cpa). If there are personal items you need, please contact (DS) and he can get them for you, if I am at home. If you need something else, you can e mail me.
I ask you to respect my decision to separate from you this way. You must know about the suffering I have endured because of your relationship with ......, and I simply cannot be with you any longer knowing that you are still in contact with her. I still love you and I have no desire to hurt you, as I have said many times, but I cannot see you under these conditions.
As soon as you are willing to permanently separate from ..... and are willing to protect our relationship from her and all other women, I will be willing to discuss our future together.
I want us to be able to rebuild our marriage some day. I want us to be able to meet each other’s emotional needs and to avoid doing anything to hurt each other. We need to build a new lifestyle in which everything we do makes us both happy. Then there will never again be a reason for us to separate. I want to be your best friend , someone who is always there for you when you need me. And I want you as my best friend. Forever.
There is someone who has some very interesting ideas on how to rebuild our relationship. You would be under no obligation to do anything, but I think you owe it to yourself to at least listen to his ideas. Many, many marriages in worse shape than ours have been saved. Ours can, too. You can set up a time to talk to him by calling 1 (888) 639-1639 and ask for a time to talk to Steve by telephone.
I loved you when I first met you, I loved you when we were married and when our children were born. I loved you through our sadness and our joys, and I continue to love you right up to this day. I just cannot be with you or help you as long as you are communicating with or seeing .... or any other woman.


With my love,


Starz

<small>[ March 02, 2005, 04:06 PM: Message edited by: starz ]</small>

Very well done! <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

bump?

That is GOOD Starz.

I'm so, so sad with you. (((squidges)))

I really wish Curly hadn't responded to him.

- Kimmy

When is this going to him?

Starz, I am no Plan B expert but I think it is a lovely letter. So sorry it has come to this but I am glad you are finally protecting yourself. {{starz}}

Dealan-de
Possibly this afternoon- if PI serves it with the D papers. If not, I will mail it tonight.

Starz: I have no changes to your letter. For your situation, it's covers all the points. The ball will soon be in his court and you've told him what he needs to do to get back with you.

{{{{{Starz}}}}}

starz, your letter is great, but I am so sorry you're having to go through this.

{{starz}}, what a bunch of Idiots we all are, huh? we should all meet in the middle of the world somewhere and have a good ol' idiotic party.

Hey Starz - Good letter... I hope it knocks some sense into IB... I'm praying for you!

Thanks, guys.

Aislinn - When and where? Middle earth, did you say? Will we invite Frodo? I am ready. I will bring the margaritas. Looks like I might have lots of time on my hands soon. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

starz,

Great letter.

Sorry you had to write it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

{{{{{starz}}}}}

^

Edited first post. Thanks.

Hey Starz, you really are about to embark on a 'make it or break it journey'. I wish strength and courage to stand up for yourself. He really has a lot of work to do to deserve you. (IMO - I bet Curly doesn't cook like you!!)

I can't remember your whole situation. Do you live together? Has he gone or have you? I'll check back later. Must go to work. TT

Starz,

My dear here is {{{{an MB hug}}}}. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> Sorry you are suffering those this crap again. Going to plan B w/b good for you. It does get easier for you and worse for the WS. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

The letter is good but I would differentiate between the love you have for your H vs the WS. I am sure you don't love the conduct of him as a WS. Let him know you love and miss only your H.

As for his current sick begging conduct......keep far away from him while he is in this state. He may find her to reject him since OWs tend to like to play with guys in a sick sort of way. Arrrgh <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> Well the WS do ask t/b be treated like [censored] by the OPs..... most OPs esp OWs love the power control they have when a WS begs. Stay out of that game. ok? Plan B will help you stay away.

Take a look at a posts whose poster initials are SBS. I hope you will find his thread encouraging as you head to plan B. Why? Because he used it for the right reasons. His W tried to come back but it was too late. However, plan B was properly implemented and helped him survive. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

U will 2. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Hugz,
L.

Thanks, Orchid. I appreciate your reply. Will check the other threads you recommended.

Papers were delivered this morning. No word from H - Plan B/D now in effect, I guess. I wish there were something else to say. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Starz,

Where are you? How is it going?