I gave my husband a picture fam that has a little saying on it about how important family is and I filled it with pictures of our children and myself. Maybe he will look at it and think of us.

WS, you are great! I've been feeling low lately, and this thread really helped! Now, instead of the terrible images, I'm trying to imagine H thinking of me & wanting to be with me while he was with OW. Also, I know I'm more attractive than she is. She asked H what I look like...he told her I look like Grace from the TV show Will & Grace (not true, but OW doesn't know that! )<BR>Also, H says she's "big boned" and very tall. Don't know if this is true, but it's much better to imagine H with an ugly amazon woman than a runway model!<P>All the best everyone!<BR>TBH

What a great topic!! I love it!! <P>I have lots of those mental images! I don't know exactly what day H and OW did their 'thing', but I DO know that every day when he came home from work he gave me a hug and a big kiss....when I think of this, I can almost see her insides churning...watching us together, seeing how happy he was to come home to me. AND...watching us walk hand in hand to our bedroom every night while she slept out here ALONE! haha! And I know she heard us back there (y'all know what I mean! )<P>Thanks WS...what a great idea!<P>If y'all haven't read my post from last night, please read it...H and I are making progress, despite my horrible day yesterday!

WS...thank you soooo much!!! This is so what I needed today. I've been trying this to some extent, but not enough. Every night when H and I climb into bed and make love I think "She never did and never will know this". When H holds our daughter I remind myself that she will never know that with him either. I'm going to try to imagine her lonely, alone and miserable. <P>------------------<BR>Joan

TBH & HJF<BR>I know those images are especially hard at the beginning so I'm glad this helps you.<P>Joanie<BR>She may not know this but imagine what she is WONDERING!!! She probably has some pretty awful images too!<P>My latest image from the garden:<BR>The night I phoned OW, I told her H was about to become available but she should know that he lied to her more than he lied to me. Now picture her sitting there waiting for him to call or show up and wondering what lies I was talking about. I phoned her at 10:30 PM on a week night. How do you think she did at work the next day?<BR>We have to remember that they are wondering more than we are!!!!

Just thought of another one...<P>I can just see her on that bus back to Missouri on May 1st. Three screaming kids for a 14 hour bus ride, and nothing but time for her to think about what she had done. I hope the guilt ate her up!<P>Oh!! And another one. The day she called here looking for a phone number, I just hung up on her...no nasty words, just a click. At that moment she had to have known that I knew...and I can see her sitting there stewing about it! P*ssed off that H told me, when she was so sure he wouldn't. And knowing that she lost a 14 year friendship.<P>And now I can sit here and think "Take THAT!"

WS,<P>I love this. You know we give the OP much to much power over us. She had just a few moments of time with my H. She doesn't know that during the whole thing he was making love to me usually twice a day. Of course, he wouldn't share that with her would he! She too is miserable in her marriage and won't let her H touch her. She has no friends and everyone at church knows WHAT SHE IS!!! Though I don't really think she has remorse or shame. Don't forget WS that not only do you have brains, you have a heart - something she is totally lacking, you are warm and compassionate - not cold and conniving.<P>Sis: I have big breasts! I go braless. OK, so they sag a little. <P>LoneStar: You are soooo funny. <P><p>[This message has been edited by EverAfter (edited May 27, 1999).]

Everafter<BR>I'm so glad everybody is getting something out of this. I was a little hesitant to post it because when I started doing the exercise it seemed so obvious that I thought Maybe I was the only one that hadn't caught on!!<BR>Thanks so much for the compliment too. Gave me a little happy tear.

WS & all,<P>I hope you don't mind, seeing as how I come from the other side of the fence so to speak.... but I have read this, and think I can help me too.<P>I am imaging my "friend" being coniving and jealous of what my H & I have. Being a 'thief' for trying to steal what is not his. I realize that I was "blind" to it for a while, but I did wake up. This really helps me in regards to the e-mail he keeps trying to send me. I hope you don't mind that I am using your idea as well. Thanks for posting it.<P>Dawn

Dawn<BR>I'm very glad you used this. My point was that we all need to use our minds to defeat our own demons, no matter what side of the fence we are on. We are all trying to recover and I really think that we are all on the same side!!!

WS<BR>Thanks! I know we are on the same side! The Building side! I hope some of the others can use this too!<BR>Dawn

EverAfter -- I'm not "against" big boobs -- just hers !!!<BR>WS -- See what a GREAT thing you started. I'm posting to send it back to the top! I was remembering how MISERABLE I was when I found H at OW's house. Then, I thought about how SHE felt when H was so upset that he basically didn't show up at work the next day and left her WONDERING all weekend (we got a TON of hangup calls), knowing we were celebrating our son's 3rd b-day. THEN, she got told on Monday that she needed to start looking for a new job. She pouted around and tried to get a rise out of H. He ignored her. She shouted out on Tuesday, "you really DON'T care, do you?" and cried all day Mon. and Tues. THEN, after he told me on Tuesday night they had really been having sex the whole time, he told her on Thursday that she needed to go NOW. She stormed out, ripped pictures off the wall, and quit!!!! I LOVE this image.

sis<BR>I love your image too. The great thing about these images is that we have complete control over them!!<BR>I'm finding that the more I use them, the more distant the other images become.<BR>I'm getting back control of my mind!!! Isn't it great? I'm just sooooo glad it's helping so many other people!

I have a couple of fresh images myself. Caught my wife with the other man doing it on his living room floor yesterday. They were so bold as to leave his window open. I found out the old f*** has a big fat belly. He stood in his door in his shorts telling me I had to leave as I stood on his front porch proclaiming what a f*** the good Dr. was for f****** my wife. Another good image I have is my wife told me I interrupted them in before he could get his rocks off. I know understand why the poor sap had such a sorry look on his face when he say me standing in his doorway. My wife also told me about a wart he has on his side that grossed her out. My image is of him as big old fat wart hog. The other image is him going to work on Monday tring to explain the message I left on his office answering machine. He's a phsycologist, so after I caught him and my wife doing it again I called his office and left a message with my name and phone number and asked if Dr. SoSo has a habit of screwing other mens wifes since he sure had a habit of screwing mine. I also asked if there was any kind of ethics involved for psycologist regarding having sex with other mens wifes. Felt a little guilty about this after words, but then remembered that I had sent the SOB a letter warning him to stay out of my life(wife) and I would stay out of his. He called me back all appologetic for what he had done, but warned me not to contact him anymore. What I realized is that I am still married to my wife and if he is stupid enought to keep having sex with her, I am going to stay in his life. I also relized that he had a big partscrewing my life up and making it difficult for me to work, so I figured he may as well experience some of what I have been going through with my work. <P>Hope my venting isn't out of line, but having a really bad Memorial Day Weekend.

Tim<BR>Use those images to make the OM the insignificant, weak, user that he is. I know you are going through a tough time right now. My thoughts are with you.<BR>BTW I've always wanted to phone OW's work and tell the other ladies to watch out because she sleeps with married men. No one there knows this and I'd love to do it. But I know she isn't worth it. I'd still enjoy it though!!!!

ws -- I've come pretty close to doing that myself!!! ESPECIALLY since I have friends at her new office. BUT, I wouldn't want her knowing that I still even THINK about her.

Yesterday afternoon I called the hospitol where my wife and the other man both work. I asked the receptionist that answered the phone if the other man(Dr.) was on the floor my wife worked on much. I had a need to know this and didn't trust my wife anymore. She told me he wasn't. I also told her that the Dr. was having an affair with my wife. Not sure where that will go, but I did it. Not sure it makes me feel any better. <P>Revenge aint always sweet, but sometimes it is needed. I didn't do it to hurt anybody, but to try and understand and also let both of them now that their games hurt others. Sometimes reality is important to understand.

TimJ <BR>Sometimes when they have to deal with the world knowing, the fantasy isn't so pretty anymore!!

Right On, TimJ! Did you tell the receptionist the Dr. is fat and warty too?<P>I love it....<P>Connie

WS,<P>I LOVE this!!! When I asked my H how was the OW looks like, he told me that she is just so-so. So I pictured her in my mind that she must be a very bright and succesful young lady but now I could picture her with pimples & bad hair (I convinced my self that my long black hair is smooth and silky) lonely and miserables and needs my H to find her a date (well, the last one was my H excuse to comfort me) so I thought out loud : NO WONDER YOU CAN'T GET A DECENT DATE, YOU HAVE SUCH A BEHAVIOUR!!!<BR>I am not worried about her peers doesn't know what she is doing because I got the information from her best friend who happened to be my Mom's client's sisters. So at least I knew that he peers looked down on her of what she was doing too!!! Moreover, her best friend told her sister who is my Mom's client that she is knows as a Husband/Boyfriend Stealer because she thought that they are more challenging. Now I got a better picture that she is a mentally sick woman who is unable to have her own happiness without ruins others. Poor her!!! <P>Saskia<p>[This message has been edited by Saskia (edited May 31, 1999).]