Has anyone else had any success with any other programs or books, I have read many and most have views that reflect the MB program but a few are totally different and somewhat radical in the approach. Has anyone tried anything different?? The MB program does not seem to be getting me the results that I need.

The only other thing I have tried that I had soem success with was Tough Love by James Dobson. When I try tough love it will work & bring my HUsband home, but it does not work in the long run. My Husband changes his mind a lot. We have a lot of issues and problems. More than even most of the people on this site. As soon as he sees I am getting attached to him or need him again he seems to lose interest and our problems resurface all over again. He likes the challenege and wants what he can't easily have. He seems to value me less when he sees that I love, need, and want him. When I start to get over him and start to try to move on then he says he is sorry, regrets everything, made a huge mistake, promises me things will be different this time, etc. But, the only problem is he never keeps his promises.

I have found comfort, insight, and hope from a 12-step program. It has truly been a "lifesaver". I don't know what you are dealing with, but for me, I have been married for 10 years. My husband has brought alcoholism to the marriage and I bring issues of depression, anxiety, self image (the list goes on!). He is passive/agressive and I am very outspoken and can obsess like the best of them. Good times! Never a dull moment in my house! We are who we are...like it or not! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I have learned through my 12-step program that I can NOT control what others do or don't do. All I can do is focus on ME. If I don't take care of myself, who will? And if I'm not well (mentally, physically, whatever) then how can I care for my kids?

I must be accountable for ME and for what comes out of MY mouth, how I behave, and how I choose to react/respond. Sounds simple enough.....but, such is life....it is NOT. I truly believe that "hurt people hurt people". All I know is that my life was unmanageable (and still is at times) whether I choose to stay with my husband or not. This cycle of insanity must stop and this 12-step program, with it's loving fellowship (spiritual NOT religious), has been my saving grace. It's worked for me....maybe for you?

Just know that you are NOT alone. Hang in there. Take care! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />