Just found email from OW to WH, something about "tuesdays" and I a just sick and mad! All the promises of NC are just lies and this is not working you guys!! I have tried nice, I have tried distance, and as you know have tried blunt! The emails are of a breaking up nature with the I hope you are happy with your decision, blah, blah, but he called her and asked her to send some pictures!!!!! This just may be my last straw!!! And to add to the mind boggle, he is being sooo sweet to me! This deceipt is overwhelming for me!! Ok ready for the 4x4's!

no 4x4's---just a simple plan b......let them have each other for awhile.

I think exactly what I thought the last time I responded to you. (4/14/05 ... thread titled "calling Mimi")

Expose
Plan B
darkness and silence

What is your plan? What you are currently doing is not working. AND, for the record, I really cannot stand the "be nice" plan ... it does not work to stop an affair and is too lopsided to last.

Pep <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Thanks nikko and Pepper,
Do you all really think its Plan B time????? I have fought so hard against it and by the emails "they" do appear to "try" to be ending it but just wont!! Ow states she is praying that WH is finding the happiness he deserves and that his decision will prove to be right for You! I will continue to do my part in making that easier on you instead of harder..but never apologize for calling me. I am always here for you. I guess I am chopped liver!!
WH states I know what you told me is the right thing for you to do and it makes me think that much more of you. Pleez!! I was wrong to call you to send me some pics, that was very selfish of me (what a selfish bas... is right) I know now that it made it harder for you to get over me! I am sorry. I have never intentionally tried to hurt you.Miss Ya have a wonderful day.

And to think he asked me to dig a splinter out of his foot this morning!!! The thoughts I am having now....

How do I react when I get home??? His clothes in the driveway???
Do I confront????

And I am supposed to look lovingly in this mans face???
Need advice quickly!!!

Why "quickly" ...?

I mean, isn't this a 3 year affair we are talking about?

Why do you think you should NOT plan B a 3 year affair .... pray tell?

When is a good time to Plan B in your opinion?

Pep <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

PS

Plan B is NOT done in anger .... like a pile of his clothes on the lawn ...

All this time.... and you do not understand what is and what is not Plan B?

Pep <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Pep, I am fully aware of Plan B, was just venting. Even tho angry and hurt, it is totally against my character to do something so drastic, I am more logical than that. Sorry, if I worried you.
WH came home last night and I confronted about the contact. I did so in a calm manner. I also expressed "calmly" that I am choosing to remove myself from the triangle that I love him but his treatment of me is unacceptable. I asked WH to find somewhere else to stay. I expressed to him that I have done everything I know to do out of love and concern for him and he is abusing my kindness for weakness and I have nothing else to give. I also let him know of my concern for the OW because of how he is treating her.
WH's responses were:
Why do you think I am intentionally trying to hurt you?
Just bare with me a little longer!
I just think I want her but I really dont!
I should not have called her, it was wrong, she is trying to move on with her life and it was wrong to you.
I will do better.
Baby, I am sorry, I have been a dog. I have been selfish and only thinking about myself.
This morning is like always, WH acts like nothing has happened. Has called me x2 to ask me how my stomach is and to ask me what I want for dinner. Then to ask me if we are still going out tonight??
I responded with I am not. Got busy at work, told him I would have to call him back. I dont want to talk to him, I feel I have said all there is to say, and how can he just expect me to act like we did not have last nights conversation?

Actions speak louder than words... YOUR actions !

Why should he believe you at this point? What I mean is, what shows him this time you are going to back up your words with action?

Pep

Sabot:

I could hardly read your post.

Why do you want to do this your way rather than use the MB approach?

Definitely time for PLAN B in order to RECOVER your marriage.

Do you feel that PLAN B would be less effective than what you are doing? You are getting angrier and angrier. You will lose you love for him and he will run straight into her arms.

I just hate to sit here and see your M crumble when you have the knowledge and resources to stop this.

I dont understand, guess I am having a blonde moment.
My Plan is Plan B, this is what I was discussing. I am working on my Plan B letter now. Mimi, how is that NOT the MB method??? I asked WH to find a place to live.

What have I done wrong???

Sorry. I didn't know you were writing the letter.

NO MORE TALK. JUST ACTION like PEP is saying!

Ok Mimi, will post my Plan B letter as soon as I finish.
Meanwhile, what are my actions if WH refuses to leave?
I really dont even want to go home tonight, I know he will still be there and try to sway me again! How do I respond?

Still working on Plan B letter! WH calls me and wants to negotiate about what is required for him to stay in our home and M. States he is NOT still seeing OW and why cant I see he has made that choice? I reiterate that he is still in contact with her, lying to me about it, and I do not want 3 in my marriage. I explained to him that I do not feel "safe" and it is up to him to help me to feel that way.
I stated the requirements to stay in our home with me remain the same:
A. NC with OW forever (emails, phones, special delivery, etc.)
B. Delete email accts.
C. Give me passwords to work acct. and any other.
D. Another N/C Letter done immediately!
E. No lies!
He states that would be better for everyone...especially you! And says "where do I buy the ticket?"
I state before you do let me make sure you understand this is a non-refundable ticket, If I think you are continueing contact w/OW...I will know... and/or you have lied to me again about it, I will not have this conversation with you again,the result will be w/o warning a direct consequence to your actions and you will find yourself in the worst withdrawal you have ever experienced...from me!
WH agrees. As Orchid says...I will have Plan B in my back pocket! Open to input like always.

I would give him one chance to do A through E. Maybe also call the OW and tell her it's over forever?

You guys need to come up with EXTRAORDINARY PRECAUTIONS IMMEDIATELY!

PLAN B in pocket! No LBing! Calm and collected!

Ok Mimi, I dont have much faith but here we go! One more chance! I want to thank you for being so helpful and patient!

What are your suggestions for Extraordinary Precautions???

Pep thanks to you also!

Update:A thru D Done! Will have to wait and see about E.
All of this w/o me asking or reminding!
As I was posting, WH called me to tell me that he forgot to give me his work email password and wanted to give it to me!
I know, now the real work starts right!

Sounds great. WORK, WORK, WORK! Everyday, every minute of the day for the both of you. It's hard but worth it.

Hang in there.

Let us know how you are doing.

Remember EXTRAORDINARY PRECAUTIONS! He's got to understand the need for this. It is a MAJOR ADDICTION!