<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/ooo.gif" alt="" />

RBM, I just don't know what too say.

Do not know what to say.

Oh, wait, yes I do! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Disrespectful? Uh, yeah! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> No wonder your kids don't want to go over there! She's not only a "bad mom" in the sense of ignoring her kids, she's teaching them insolence, impudence and disrespecting your authority (& who knows what other bad habits?). Why should they listen to you if she doesn't? (Not that I believe it would come to that, they respect you a helluva lot more than she, but the little ones are still a bit impressionable).

Boundries, boundries, boundries. I know you know this stuff, prob better than I do. I also know there are custody issues in the mix. How much are you willing to give?

How much could your 2 older Ss (non-bio) contribute to your guardianship, by writing a letter, or seeing an atty, or something, in regards to their custodial preferences? Do they have any say-so in your state? Are they old enough?

Comptemptuous Hag!

Splash some bleach on that chair if you have to. . . it may reek for a few days but look at the alternative, lol.

~ StillLovingHim

BBEyes,

Did you bother to read part two of the theory? Obviously you must be slightly less nuts than the rest of the pack! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Then again, you seem to be sticking your lower lip out a bit on this... Could it be that you find my line of thinking mean and as a result I come off as a raging @sshole? The fact that the last line of you post subscribed to me an indicting statement such as "...emotional illogical incapable of making sound judgments women" tends to show that perhaps you were looking at a touch more than the facts, logic, or reason. So what was it then???... perhaps emotions clouding your judgement of what was actually said??? Can you show me were it was that I claimed women were incapable of making sound judgements?

Your post in and of itself goes a lot longer towards proving my theory than it does to discredit it. You are objecting to the mere line of thought with out bothering to take into account all that was said. You are extrapolating hidden meanings and subscribing non-analogous labels to the theory itself based merely on the fact that you seemed to dislike it.

As such, upon review of your points, it seems to me that your arguement is founded primarily on emotion and less on the facts of what was really said or the reason and logic behind why I said it.

So, tell me again... why I was wrong? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Want my wife back,

Yes, you did imply that women in general are not capable of making sound judgments, because sound judgments of course are made on the basis of logic not emotion. The relevant definition of "sound" according to Merriam-Webster's online dictionary is "logically valid and having true premises."

It makes no more sense to claim that most women are "emotional rollercoasters" and therefore do not base their decisions on logic than it would for me to claim that most men do not base their decisions on logic because their constant much higher testosterone (compared to women) levels affect their judgment 24/7. By that logic, at least women would be capable of logic some of the month, while men would think with their "other head" all the time.

STILL,

In my state the boys don't have to do anything but sign the papers, that is enough to show their intent and desire. There is a form they fill out that reads "Where would you like to live?" and "Why do you want (blank) to be your guardian"....they filled that out and I got the WWXW to sign the Guardianship papers so there isn't anything else to do. It is just a waiting game now, will the WWXW be reasonable? A BIG question!

The Magistrate will take into consideration her abandonment if she gets nuts about it. The social worker has indicated (at our home meetings) she will do everything in her power to stress to the Magistrate the need for them to be here (the SWer's hubby cheated on her and left with a little bimbo so she is in my corner)

gotta get them ready for school

later
Rebornman

2 more things..........

Has anyone else noticed that since their WWS infidelity that you run into tons of other people that have been through it? It seems like everyone I run into or talk to ( I live in a smaller town where everybody pretty much knows) has a story about their dealing with a cheating spouse. Strange...

Onto the important stuff....

I sent an e-mail to my WWXW since she wouldn't answer her phone at home or work. Basically saying it isn't OK for you to just show up and hang out, I said I felt it was extremely disrespectful and unless she would like me to just "Show Up" some Saturday afternoon at her house then I needed a phone call or an e-mail from her asking if this was OK to come here and see the kids.

so I got a response that almost made me run an e-mail inquiry to see if it actually came from her because she wrote one word I haven't heard from her EVER...here it is....

"sorry about yesterday- i guess i should not assume anything"

Sorry? I have to tell you folks, that is ONE word that my WWXW probably can't even pronounce! I'm shocked she knew how to spell it....lol

Well, we shall see. I doubt it has any lasting effect but just seeing that word about made me fall out of chair. See she has never needed to say "I'm Sorry" for anything in her life because she has never done anything wrong....but if she did do anything wrong, you were wrong for pointing it out <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Funny

RebornMan

And I got them!

Yipee!!

WWXW didn't even show up, took about 10 minutes, signed sealed delivered.

What a load off of my shoulders!

Now that everything is set, it's time to start addressing WWXW's issues with boundaries.

Her leverage is gone, finis, kaput. Now it's time to set the course for the future, mainly how WWXW will be dealing with me and the kids in the future.

Got the OP back in place and she sets one foot out of that car I'm calling the police. She is 16 minutes late we are leaving. I'm done with her sickness for good.

The judge I saw was the same one for the Divorce, he wasn't happy, he treated me like crap at the divorce hearing but this time he actually apologized for his behavior! He's one of those that thinks the man is always a scumbag. He found out today who the real scumbag is. He asked my kids a few questions in private and came out with a whole new attitude towards me, ruled in my favor and apologized for his behavior before. I was shocked!

I am going to keep track for another 6 months or so of her visitation habits and then I will weigh my options for reducing exposure to her and her illness.

Anyway, just wanted to pass along some good news for a change <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Congratulations. It must be a load off your mind. Good news is always good to hear!!

RebornMan,

Just wanted to add my congrats also. I know that no matter how strong a position you're in, it's still stressful until the judge rules.

It's also cool that the judge apologized to you! I hope the judge in my case doesn't come into it with such a biased view. I guess that's just human nature, but you'd think someone in that position would be more neutral right out of the box.

Good Luck with your new life.

starman

THanks folks...

It's a great day in my neighborhood.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Starman,
Unfortunately, male judges do not look kindly on SAHD's, even though I did earn money I was still the primary caretaker. At least he was open enough to consider me for Custody. I have a feeling however, had my WWXW WANTED custody at our divorce proceedings, he would have given them to her regardless of the situation, regardless of my reasons. Nevermind the truth. Dad's have a rough time with custody, I think it is because of our mindset that, "Gee, they came out of her, she has to be the better parent"

When we know the truth is, birthing is biological, parenting is a decision.

The judge treated me like pond scum at the divorce, hearing the apology was good but it certainly could have turned out badly at divorce if I wasn't so openly honest, persuasive, stated my case clearly and WWXW wasn't seeking custody.

Good luck Starman, if you need any help drop me a line...I did a whole bunch of prep work in case things didn't go well and I'd be glad to share it with you, with all the Dad's here seeking custody.

BTW, I finished my divorce sans Attorney and handled all the custody stuff by myself.

RebornMan