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Joined: May 2004
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I am intersted in this non-scientific poll to ascertain if the WS(NOT the BS) was helped or hindered by their faith. Was this effect present early in the start of your A? Did it function as a source of strength for you to stop or continue the A? Did the OP share in your faith? Did your faith help or hinder your R process.
I am NOT looking for a debate on faith vs secular approaches to M or to life. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />
Divorced: "Never shelter anyone from the realities of their decisions": Noodle
You believe easily what you hope for ernestly
Infidelity does not kill marriages, the lying does
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Joined: Jan 2005
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Well, my FWW felt like God had left her during the A, and she was at the lowest I've ever seen her as far as faith during the A and withdrawl afterwards.
But, once she started healing, we started recovering our M, and when she saw how much that I was relying on God to help us, her faith came back big time. And it's been a huge help to her SINCE, in dealing with forgiveness (for herself and for the OM, and even for me for things that lead up to the A), and in dealing with her guilt as well.
Not sure if this is what ya wanted, but hope it helps.
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Joined: May 2004
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Many thanks for your quick repsonse but I was really looking for a reply from the FWS only. While I am sure that we sometimes feel that we know our WS, that is obviously(eg. an A) not true. May I get some first person feedback from your WS in addition to your kind response?
Thanks
Divorced: "Never shelter anyone from the realities of their decisions": Noodle
You believe easily what you hope for ernestly
Infidelity does not kill marriages, the lying does
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Joined: Jan 2005
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Unfortunately, Mrs. Owl doesn't have a desire to come to MB, so I don't think you'll get her direct viewpoint on the subject. But I can tell you that we talked about this exact issue, and that is what I spoke of above. But there are a few FWS's on here that could probably help you.
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Joined: Jan 2005
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I had a waivering faith, and during my A, i found myself start to pray to God on what to do, and immediately I shut myself up - I knew praying to God was wrong as what I was doing was wrong and he didn't want me anyhow since I was sinning. So i shut God out. OMW was Christian, but OM wasn't. He wouldn't go to church with her.
When I got caught, God also caught me, and I had no where to turn but to him, and since then I haven't refused God once, and he has been instrumental in my recovery
Before I started the A, I had stopped on faith - as H wasn't being too much in faith, and I was hating life then...I was angry at God for many things during that time, like why I had to have the surgery that took my uterus, like why my H didn't care to give me the sympathy I felt I deserved, and all sorts of nasty depression, anger, resent thoughts.
-dorry
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Joined: Jul 2004
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Cymanca, my A was prior to my coming into my faith. However, during the A I would occasionally attend church with my H and DD. I then started listening to Christian Radio and Dr. Laura. I believe now that those were all due to God calling to me. I remember many times crying while listening to these programs and knowing how wrong I was. I remember after the A was over wondering and searching the Bible for answers to see if my sin was unforgivable. Took me a long time to accept God's forgiveness.
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49 DS 30 DD 21 DS 15 OCDS 8
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Joined: Apr 2005
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I dont know if my faith is helping me but now I try to say a Novena to Mother Mary daily. It gives me strength. I am related to God as the prodigal daughter. (remember the father loved the prodigal son more than the other son). So God loves me though I am a sinner even if nobody else loves me. He thinks I am worthy even if I dont feel so. He gives me strength to wake up each morning get my kids ready for school, feed them, pack their lunch, pick them up, enjoy with them, help them with HW and go on with life even if I hate myself.
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I believe faith is the sapstone of the whole thing
I always believed in God, but I have been luke-warm(that being a biblical reference). I now find that my faith and increase in practicing it is strengthening me. I have started reading passages from the bible to my wife in a ministering way. We are both learning and growing in faith, but I had to take the lead(as was my rightful job anyway)
I also believe God has forgiven me my sin. I have truly turned away from it and have seeked for giveness from it. And I know he has given it. The bible says that. This fact has been very empowering when, previously, I was torn apart with guilt.
I am still remorseful for my A and will be forever, I am sure. But I know that God will not see this transgression anymore because I have truly turned away from it.
Long story short, yes.. bringing God into this(and back into my life) has helped tremendously. Probably a key thing, really.
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