Most of you don't know me. I arrived here in February 2002 in a desperate search for help after D-Day. What I found was a community of incredible people trying to help each other cope with incredulous situations. My last update is here:
SISF's last update In the course of the last year and a third, my wife and I have made progress in some areas of our marriage, and have taken a step backward in others, most notably through the revelation that her LTA was actually significantly longer than she originally admitted to. Although that really threw me for a loop, we have worked through it and are generally back on track.
This past weekend, our church hosted a seminar regarding the dynamics of faith through the parables. One parable, that of the prodigal son (see
prodigal son if you're not familiar with it), is something I have used to help me in our recovery, and have used to try to help others in a situation similar to mine.
But it just hit me - I had it all wrong.
In my version of the parable, I saw myself as the father welcoming back the troubled son. Here I am, a husband greatly wronged by his wayward wife, tapping into my vast reservoir of grace to "allow" her back into the marriage. But guess what? As a human being, I lack the capacity for such grace. There isn't enough grace, love, forgiveness or mercy in me to make that transaction possible.
I realize I am
not the father in the parable - I'm the older son. The one who looks on with bitterness as the wayward son is welcomed back with great fanfare. The one who did not stray, but must witness the celebration over the one who did. The one who has trouble forgiving, even while watching the father freely forgive.
My point is this: as the Father has forgiven, so must we forgive. He loves us with a
spectacular, super-natural love, and we need to reach beyond our human selves and extend that same kind of love to our spouses.
That's my new goal, starting right now.
