Okay, I'm not sure if I should post this on the post-dv board or on the DVing board. The world is flat. Not pancake flat. Stale soda flat.

Three days of the blahs and I'm ennervated.

What's wrong? NOTHING! which makes it worse.

What set it off? I think it was the waiter who flirted with me but was way too young. He wasn't flirting with me because he was interested, but rather to pass the time, get a better tip or because I may have looked like the kind of older woman who takes me to nice dinners, etc. He was cute too. So, I felt old.

So, please let me know how you would advise me to kick these blahs. I simply refuse to call my shrink until the blahs have been around two weeks.

I HATE DEPRESSION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And I don't see why I should get it. It's simply not fair!!!

YUCK!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for talking about it (depression). I've been feeling it too this week. Maybe it's just the combination of too much stress and not enough sleep, but for some reason, it's hit me really hard - harder than I've felt it in a long time (and there's been plenty of stress and lack of sleep at other times, too).

I got some bad news from my lawyer yesterday (after I was already depressed). He did a community property balance sheet that basically makes it look like I'll be continuing to pay off my STBXWH for many more years if I want to keep the business I've been running alone since he left. I've already been supporting him and MOW since they moved in together in 12/00 - in other words, for a long time already - and don't want to support them any longer (they're both unemployed drug abusers).

Sorry, I guess my post really puts this thread back on the DV board, but I've been talking about DV for years and I'm done with it, even though I'm not done with divorce, so I rarely visit there these days.

As for your young waiter, I think it's the depression making you feel old in response to his flirting. If you were feeling good, it might have felt like a compliment and make you feel younger. So what if it's just for a tip or to pass the time, you don't have to date him! He still saw you as someone worth flirting with.

I do this myself. When I'm feeling good, I take it as a compliment. When I'm depressed, it just emphasizes how old I feel.

Thanks, Let. I htink one of hte worst things about suffering depression as regularly as I do is I panic at the first signs. My wonderful psychiatrist told me that ANYTHING could set off my depression. Luckily, I suffer less and less as I get older. Plus, there are some awesome meds out there that work wonders on me.

It completely stinks about your business. Heck, you wouldn't even have to be depression to experience lack of energy once you find out you are working for Uncle Sam, your STBX and his MOW!

You probably already thought of this, but what if you sell the company? You stay on as a "consultant" until you decide what you want to do? That way you at least aren't continually faced with STBX and MOW every month.

I worked for the family business until very recently and I know how emotionally tied we become to our blood, sweat and tears. Good luck with it.

Try to look at it from a nicer view, he's cute and he flirted. Doesn't matter why, who knows maybe he was sent to you to make you feel better? You are not old and don't tell yourself you are because then you will feel that way!!!

We all get into funks, is there something that seems to help you get out of it? Are you taking care of yourself?
When is the last time you had a good laugh?

My therapist told me that I look like hell, I told her thank you.....but what does she expect, my husband has been 2000 miles away from me for 2 months. I miss him, I ache for him, I'm incomplete (we are trying to move). Add in the court battle with xh (doesn't want us to move), the girls being stressed, son being with my husband and mom in a different state, selling the house, closing on the house and still having to stay here because of court. IT SUCKS
I get very lonely and depressed

I was ordered to take care of myself...I'm going to go for a massage next week <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

(((greengables))) do things to make yourself happy

I do a few things when I get depressed.

I go for a vigourous walk. Exercise helps and is a natural anti-D.

Listen to upbeat music. I burned a CD of music that is upbeat and hopeful. Songs like "Natural Man" by Lou Rawls, New York - NY by Sinatra. Recently I added "Live Like You are Dying".

Keep in mind all of the great things you have in your life. Two good friends recently had prostrate surgery due to cancer. While they will probably be OK, I am so thankful that I came through with flying colors in my recent physical.

Go to a dance for the sake of dancing! (Not finding a date.) And then dance with every guy who asks you, and if you are sitting one out, ask a guy to dance. It's great fun. Don't know how to dance? Take classes. They are cheap.

There's a lot to be thankful for.

I experienced a really devastating depression at around age 18. Although I've never gone through anything like that since, I understand the fear at the first sign of depression that it will just keep getting worse until I can't function. Fortunately, that hasn't happened so I worry but I don't panic anymore.

Thanks for the suggestion. Yes, I've thought about selling. We own care homes and to buy him out means buying the houses as well as the business, which is why it's so costly. I'm definitely not willing to run the business with him as my landlord, not to mention that the licensing agency probably wouldn't allow it anyway since they know WH lost his professional license because of his substance abuse.

I haven't had contact with WH or MOW since 5/02, I send him a check on payday, every two weeks, so seeing him isn't the problem. The problem is, he forced me out of our home so he could buy a house with MOW and I'm now living in a large travel trailer powered by a generator on a nice piece of land we own (something else to buy from him) and making payments to him will mean I'm stuck here until he's paid off, which could be years (not enough money in the business to pay him off and get power or build a house). He'd love to have me continue to make payments, to continue to provide a him with a steady income, since neither he nor MOW has worked since he left in 12/00 - I guess their life is just one constant party (one I'm happy not to have been invited to!).

My guess for you is that something other than the waiter set off the depression, since his flirting seems like a good thing, a compliment. Maybe it just highlighted something else you've been feeling/missing? What do you think?

Hi GG,

Truly depressed people don't use so many exclamation points!!! So, I don't think you're depressed!!!

Feeling old because the young, cute waiter was hoping for a bigger tip, yeah, that I believe.

Not every day is exciting & filled with potential for finding that special someone. Some are routine & filled with people who are unavailable, uninteresting, or unworthy (not to sound like a snob, of course).

Blah is the perfect word for those kinds of days. The good thing is they pass, just like gas!!!!

Except it's not passing. It's getting worse. Like LetSTry I experience dehabilitating depression when I was 19. I mean I stayed in bed for weeks on end. I understood how T.S. Eliot could say "I'd kill myself if I weren't so depressed." YUCK! The first time I can remember being depressed, I was 9 years old. I also had a moderately bad case when I was home from work with my oldest for a year. I hate that I have to deal with this. I hate how I am when I'm depressed. Self-absorbed.

What's scary this time compared with, say, 3 years ago when I'd have liked to cut myself open, this time I can't pin-point a situational cause. 3 years ago, I knew it was my marriage.

I suppose it could be my divorce, but that seems unlikely. Yesterday was a little better but today is worse again. Oh, yes, and get this, the depression MOVED! 3 years ago it was in the lower left-hand side of my brain, now its up front, sort of underneath my forhead.

Obviously, it's not really located exclusively there, but it feels like it is.

I think I'll go call my psychiatrist now. Thanks for listening everyone.

Oh, and Justin, I did take a walk. Sometimes it helps, sometimes not. Since I had the puppy I couldn't work up enough endorphins to really help. Some serious walking without pupster may be in order. Or my workout videos. I'm starting yoga classes again tomorrow. Luckily, if I break down in tears in yoga class, no one will freak out. It happens.

My understanding of "Major Depression" (which I struggled with at a "Moderate" level for several years) is that its first onset often has a situational cause, but after that it may return for no discernable reason. That was true for me.

Obviously, your situation is different, given the childhood component, but I just wanted to point out that there is probably no reason for you to be concerned that you cannot identify a cause this time around.

I say, it's time for a trip to the beach. I'm planning on going on Friday with the kids. Want to join me??

Can you close the business, selling off the assets perhaps, with a "split" to the ex, then re-open with one not associated with paying the SOB?

V.

Brainstorm with abandon on how to get out from under his yoke! I can understand why you are getting depressed. I'd be suicidal if I had to support the ex and his OW!

I know that doesn't help much, but I look for solutions and you probably need support.

Gnome, not being able to pinpoint a cause is scary because it means I can't just change something and make it go away. I'm not in control.

Newly, this weekend is jam-packed so the shore is out, although I'd love to go some other time if you're up for it.

SunnyV, you meant your advice for LetSTry, right?

Let me know when you are available and we'll get together.

I'm under major deadline stress at work, and school ends tomorrow, so I need to figure out teacher's presents. Fun, fun, fun.

[color:"blue"] <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> whoopsie - should be more careful. That reply was for LT...

I suffer from dysthymia GG - unmedicated as well because I tend to gain so much weight on medication that the depression just gets worse as the jean size gets bigger. I've gone the range from 130 to 157! I find that sometimes putting positive affirmations around the house helps. Exercises where everytime you walk through a doorway you tell yourself something positive. To remind yourself, you could tack a little positive note in strategic places.
V.[/color]

Sorry GG, I didn't intend to make light of depression. I thought you were talking more about feeling down vs depressed & I was unaware of your background with depression.

Depression runs in my family. My mother & my nephew both. My mother did not seek treatment & was much worse off. My nephew was treated & is now fine.

Are you oppossed to taking drugs for it?

I have mixed feelings about drugs. I DO believe in them when prescribed by a psychiatrist who is also a practicing therapist. I strongly object to the current practice of having psychiatrist prescribe drugs after a 15 minute visit while the patient sees a psychologist. Or worse, when a GP prescribes the meds.

I believe when the psychiatrist needs to be actively and regularly involved in the therapy to be able to judge the drugs effectiveness. 15 minutes a month going over side effects is not actively involved. And let's face it, psychologist don't have the medical training necessary to monkey about with medications that affect brains.

Luckily, I have an old-school psychiatrist who will do my psychotherapy as well as my drugs. Unfortunately, he's quasi-retired. It appears that psychiatrist don't get to actually retire. They just stop taking on new patients and hope they out live the existing ones. Joking about the last part.

Well, I'm over my tail spin, and back to functioning. That in itself is a relief.

Well, I am glad that you are doing better. Depression is a scary thing.