Hi I was wondering from people going through this is there hope of reversing the effects of wanting the big D, H has moved out, it's been a week, this has happened before (5) we alway say we want to work things and it goes good for about 6 months then puff! He wants out again! He tells me he loves me, but not in the loving and caring way a H should love a W. Should I just let go? He has always wanted to move away from my parents, we live next door, but I alway chicken out. He said we are to different, I love outdoors, he does not, he likes to watch movies all the time and I like to watch alittle, I've gotten use to doing and going places on my own over the course of 12 yrs. He tells me to find someone out there that shares the same interest. Is this for the best, any body have this kind of marriage and made it work? Just I just throw up my arms and call it quits? or course I don't have a choice as H wants the D.Should I just give him space and what happens will happen? Look at it as his loss? The house is up for sale as I can't afford it on my own, to tell the turth I'm happy about, I've always wanted to move but was afraid of upsetting my parents, so prefect chance. I just miss my H soooo MUCH!!! He was my life!!I really messed things up, why can't I make him happy?

It sounds to me like your husband messed things up. I would stay in Plan A, and see what happens. All of the things you mention could be fixed with the POJA.

You've been together 12 years. Weren' there any happy years, or are you just both rewriting history?

Ya know, whether you stay married or divorce and remarry aomeone else someday, you have to face this whole parents thing head on. My suspicion is that if you could have sided with your husband more over the years, and told your parents to keep out of your business, perhaps this wouldn't have come to this. I am not saying he should have had an affair -- that is his own screw up -- but hanging onto your parents and siding against your husband is a huge, huge, huge, love-buster for anyone.

What would you think about telling your husband that you are willing to start over with him, move to a new place (away from your parents), get into IC and MC and see what happens? Do you have anything to lose?

But don't do this unless you are truly prepared to cut the apron strings to your parents.

~ Snow