While BP above is correct, I personally think the "emotional needs" issue of this is used WAY TOO MUCH as a catch all phrase here. Despite that people here don't want to hear this, or accept this: SOME PEOPLE CHEAT, EVEN DESPITE PERFECTLY HAPPY and CONTENT marriages. They do it because they need to "feel good" and they "need" the external validation that comes with someone showing interest. Yes, the betrayed can try and do all of those things till the cows come home, but it still happens. It is just the way some people are "wired".
Yeah, that reality kind of sucks if you are one who thinks meeting the Emotional Needs of your wayward will "cure" the cheating. It may or may not. Read the books that BP suggested, but realize that in some (perhaps many)cases, a cheater is a cheater is a cheater. People talk about the one "D-Day" that is just an abberation of character, but I truly wonder how many "true D-days" there are in an infidels life. Yes, there is a D-day that the Betrayed finds out about, but is that true reality? I honestly have to wonder. Continuing to meet try and meet those emotional needs after repeatedly being cheated on is a cycle that sadly many can't seem to break. Are you in that cycle?
I would have to ask you to share your story and ask why is it that you are asking this perfectly reasonable question.
This is just my personal .02. I could be wrong (at least according to the masses here), but it is MY opinion nonetheless. You will find many differing opinions on this.
BOL,
LM
P.S. Gender probably has nothing to do with it per se, but I am of the belief that a Wayward Male may cheat more often than not becasue of the reason's I state above, while I think the "emotional needs" theory may be present more often in Wayward Fems. There is no scientific proof either way, and those opinions are based on PURELY anectodal evidence. Take that for what you will.
Last edited by lemonman; 07/11/05 01:46 PM.