My 16 yr old step daughter is talking about sex on her instant messager. My wife told me this. She has "friends with benifits", which I was told, sex w/o feelings. I believe that her actions should be monitored. I want to install a keylogger software on the computer to do this. I do not want to tell her, so it can be stealth. Is this wrong to do? Is it a violation of her rights? Or is it a good parenting practice? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

Do I monitor her chat room single choice
	yes w/o her knowing
	no-- let her explore
	yes with telling her
Votes accepted starting: 08/10/05 07:15 PM
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What does your wife think of the idea?

My wife thinks that we should limit her use to regular hours, while we are awake. She thinks there are things that a mother just don't need to know. I think she is afraid that she will find out how worldly her daughter is, and taint it. She said it would be like walking into her room, as a married adult, and whatching her romaticly with her spouse, there are things a mother don't need to know. My opinion is differnt. In this day and age, they need to be monitored and guided, they all grow up, facts are facts. Moms are moms too.

No, I believe as parents you have full rights over your children when it comes to issues of safety. However, if you do it without your wifes consent, then yes it's wrong. Dealing with step children is a huge stresser on marriages. Under The Policy of Joint Agreement there are guidelines to making such decisions.

Does her mother think of her as an adult now?

I would think that drinking and drugs are not out of the question if she is engagine in this behavior, prob not using protection as well.... does her mother not understand that she is giving her daughter the green light to teenage pregnancy, std, addiction, death. I think her only concern should be school and once done with that boys and sex.

I am sorry but your wife just hiding her head in the sand is going to lose control over her parenting of her child. JMO of course.

My wife has dicided to cut off her internet chat by means of parental control within the virus protection programming. I did not get a chance to see what she was typing about. But we both agreed that the her actions have changed enough to warrant a shut down. She now has tha ability to go to her friends and use it out of our hands. She was talked to by my wife on the reasons why we did this. My wife even told her that she is the one who did it, only because the 16 yr old is a step child. My wife couldn't undo it her life depended on it, I'm the software guy. But the child dosen't know this. The teen would only get rebellious if she thought I had a hand in it. I look at the computer uses, she is still trying to get to that chat site. "myspace.com" I only hear half of the stuff. Yes, my wife isn't standing up to the plate with this one the way I think she should. She did say, "I have to get her on the pill". Yes my wife trys to treat her as a friend other than a child of hers. She says it is to maintain an open door at all times. Nipped in the bud for now, so we think.