Hi, I am new here, but I have a desperate question. My husband had a 3 month fling, with woman from another state. They met up once after the initial time, and then the third time he says he was breaking things off when I caught him. He definately told her that it was over, he didn't love her, he loved me. She got all pissy, threatened myself and the kids, and him, and he left her. This was three weeks ago. The first week, she sent a goodbye letter via email, and a text message, my husband didn't respond to either one. A week later another text that was not reponded to. Yesterday two more text messages that we did not respond to. She is basically asking if he is ok, can they talk, etc.
My husband and I have been working very hard on our communication issues, and have just realized that we lost ourselves, and had to find us again. We are doing excellent. Until we get something from her, then we are sadly reminded of his huge mistake.
So what to do? Do we respond to the next text and say yes we are fine, this is our last reply? Or do we continue to ignore?

I wouldnt reply but im sure the experienced MB'rs here would say for your WH to send a NC letter.

But Im suggesting, change the cell phone number and change your enail address also.

Im glad you found this site and im sure itll help strengthen your marriage.

Do not respond and put a block on the TM. You can do this at your service provider's website. If that fails, change your phone number. It's too easy to do.

Low

I don't think that all providers offer the ability to block TM's. I have tried with Cingular and they state that there is no way to block the TM from comming through.

A No Contact letter is definitely in order here. You and your H should sit down and write it together.

It should go something like this:

So and So,

I have confessed the exact nature of our relationship to my wife, whom I love very much. I am comitted to saving my marriage and to do this I must end my relationship with you. I ask that you respect this decision and never contact me or my wife again. Any attempts made by you to contact me will be ignored, exposed to my wife, and considered harrassment. I deeply regret the hurt I have caused my wife and will do whatever it takes to make it up to her.

Goodbye,
xxxxx

The old-timers may have a better format, but generally the idea stays the same. No "I'm sorry's" to OW, no "I love you's", just a clear cut "good bye".

Take the others advice, too. Change the phone number and email address.

Read up on the Policy of Joint Agreement (POJA), too. It will help when the two of you are coming up with a game plan.

Good luck and hugs,
AVNL

Thanks for everyone's replies. I am dreading tonight because, it is Friday, she will probably go out, get drunk, and text again.
I have actually tried to block the text messages, but unicel says they can't. They were very helpful though, and offered to change the phone number for free. This is something that we will definately do when we get back from Vacation. It is funny, that the text messages were the first communication that my husband and I had, that I wouldn't puke from. It has been a great communicating tool for us.
As for the NC letter, I suppose we will wait until we hear from her and punt... I know she is just fishin for a hint of some caring since she gets none on her end....