OK,

Yes I understand that I have to follow a formal PLan B , thank you for the link.

It looks like her work , may be settled. It seems the only reason OM has been allowed to keep his employment was becuase of the W . The W got the job for the OM, but he has ben unable to hold it. I talked with the owners husband of the W work. He is the money behind the business. I did't really say much , he said enough for the both of us. He was letting the OM go( Fireed) for reasons he did'nt share , but I think it is do to some conflict of interset at the new salon. Maybe the OM drinking problem , i don't know.I have followed up with the owner , now several times becuase , My company is going to out fit his new salon with computer gear.

I think it is just priceless , that I will be in her work ,without the W inviting me. I am not sure at this point that exposure is necassry. The W has already expressed concern of me talking to the owner. So I may keep it for a card to play if I have to.

The LOVE BUSTER , seesm to be the most difficult for me to take right now. I feel horrible , while it seems to effect the W only marginaly. Though the vile spew that comes from her mouth is just astounding.

My folks plan some kind of bumrush , confrontation. I don't have the details yet. BUt they feel as I do , that she is out of her right mind. They are more than willing help and bust her [censored]. Their intervention will go a long way to help her se my point.My MOther has always liked my W and was very upset to hear the news. My mother is going on the offensive.

To date we still have not heard from the W parents.

Thanks again for all of your advice , and sticking in there with me.

Thank you

I am sorry to say this but I would say yes just because I am the one doing the samething in my relationship. I love my husband dearly but he does not give me everything I need & is unwilling to do so. Emotional needs, attention, sex. We are great at the friend thing but thats about it. The more you are on her about him the more you are pushing her towards him. The best thing is to let her get it out of her system or leave. The only reason I am saying this is beacuse if I was to get caught it would kill me & even though I know what I am doing is horrible but it would kill me to have him hurting like that & I would drop anything & everything to work it out as long as he would put forth also. Hope this helped.

Jeep, honestly, I don't understand why you wouldn't expose her affair at work? That would cause some much needed pressure and would likely ensure that they do fire him. I think exposure is very necessary and please note that your W is very fearful of this. That means she knows it will disrupt her great set up.

Wow jeep you've come a long way. Are you sure you have no Plan A left in you? How are your kids doing?

One man's opinion: This is a full blown EA/PA with all the trimmings.

Keep after it.

Please don't listen to Inabind. She is in deep fog and has no idea what she is talking about. She knows nothing about saving a M. In fact, she is doing everything in her power to destroy her own M. You don't want advice from a WS who is still very deep in the fog.

Inabind,

At this point, I don't think Jeeping needs your advice.

Jeeping,

Expose to her family, her work, OM's SO, and mutual friends. Do this today and tomorrow. I think you've enabled the A enough and it's time to take some serious actions to give yourself a chance of saving your M, protecting yourself and your children.

Being a wimp and pretending things are less worse than they are will not help. Come on, she tells you she's been in OM's house only once and you believe it. After she promises NC to the counselor, she calls the OM 7 times the next day. 7 times! You still believe there has been no PA? Come on, don't be so gullible anymore. You must face the facts.

And your claim that you want to keep exposure to her work as a card to play letter is just another excuse for not doing the right thing because you are a conflict avoider. Jeeping, it is best to do exposure all at once, so you don't have to revisit the same event again. Exposing at work is a powerful tool at your disposal right now and you should use it. The sooner you hasten the end of the A, the sooner you give your M a chance. Making excuses for not doing the right thing will only delay and ultimately diminish your chances of saving your M.

Hello,

Today I feel as if there is no fight left in me.Afetr yesterdays events , i feel as if I am just going to give up or give in ,

I am sorry to all of you who have been of a great help to me over the last months.

Goodbye

Give in only after you've done all you can. Please follow some of the advices given to you before throwing in the towel. Then and only then can you say that you did all you can.

You wrote:

She really is coming undone though. She has threatened me at least 4 or 5 times just in the last few days that she will divorce me if I try to confront the OM. SO she really doesn't see what she is saying.

This sounds to me like shes hiding something

Unfortunately the answer to that question is probably YES