My wife found out my A two months ago and took my son with her and moved to other country. I tracked her down and came over to be with them (she was not happy in the beginning but didn't kick me out). Since then, she was treating me like a maid and only let me stay at the basement. I know she is still upset, and she keeps irritate me with some sarcastic comment about the affair and OW (which I had no contact since the D-day). She blamed me anything that doesn't go right for her even got nothing to do with me. I know deep down she want me to stay, but I don't know if I can take those sarcastic comments everyday... Further than that my mom has been diagnosed with couple types of cancers and she will have a second complicate operation in two week time and I want to be there, which I don't know what my W will think (she doesn't like my mom)... I am right now very depress & frustrated and cannot talk to my wife calmly. I am so affraid that I may snap and walk away from this marriage. Any advice... Thanks.

Your W is angry and hurt. Right now you have to go take care of your mom. That's important. Let your W know you love her and must be a good son. Just like the way you expect your child t/b when he grows up.

Give your W time to heal. Go be with your mom. Make sure your family is financially secure and safe. Love your child and save your love for your W.

Pray for a clear mind and a calm heart. You have hurt your family deeply by the A. The healing will take time.

Her anger towards you is part of her healing process. When you can read my link about the 5 stages of grieving. Once you understand what she is going through, it will help you heal also.

As for your W not liking your mom, whether there is a valid reason or not, this is not the time to focus on such trivial differences. Your mother's life is precious.

take care,
L.

Thanks Orchid, I just don't know if I go to see my mom, my W will think I want to leave again and won't let me come back. I know she is still hurt and angry. And we have not communicated much. We have said less than 5 sentenances each days to each other for the last 4 weeks. I don't know how to communicate with her since she is still angry... Any advice on how to communicate with a angry wife (PS: I have said too many time I am sorry, and she lost her trust with me so she may not take it seriously)

I understand where your wife is coming from - however she is lovebusting all over the place, due to her hurt, I hope she realizes it soon before it is too late. as for your mother I recommend you go see her, as you only have one mother, and life is short.

My MC thinks that she will not let me come back if I go to see my mom. She has forbidded even let my son to talk to my parents. I was angry but I didn't want to upset her, so I didn't say anything. She thinks that my parents knew the affair and was covering for me. My folks didn't know anything but my W just have anger toward them as well.

Any advice on how to communicate with an angry BS since she don't trust what you say and care about the WS feeling at this point?

Earning her trust back will take time. Introduce her to info here or just leave the book Surivivng an Affair within her eyesight. Make sure you read it also.

Losing her trust is the hardest part of the R to fix. Don't give up though.

Go see your mom. You don't want to have regrets. Your W already hates you so that regret you can't fix right now. Go see your mom. Don't worry about your W's threats.

Go see your mom. You can even let your W know that you have heard it from a BS (like herself) and the prognosis recommends for you to go see your mom.

take care,
L.

Thanks Orchid, the last night my W asked how is my mom, so I told her that my mom will have a second and more complicated operation. She made a comment that she wonder if my mom really has cancer?? I felt very hurt at that moment, but didn't say anything. Then she made another comment emotionless that I should go back to see my mom, but I am not sure if she meant it and she just saying it to test if I will choose her or my mom...

Anybody can give me some advice...

I talked to my W about going to see my mom and obviously she is still angry about I betrayed her. She told me to see my mom and need not to come back. I just don't know what to do? I want to work on this marriage but she just don't want to do it with me... She kept saying that there are no second chance for marriage and she warned me before we got marry...