My wife and I have been talking about each of us staying strong to get through this period, for ourselves and for the children. She even told me that while she still loves the OM, as well as myself, the affair is a symptom of deeper problems with herself. That's why the affair happened. She didn't go looking for it. *****latest problem*** her parents found out last week and they are creating/demanding alot from her now, such as explanations etc., which she cannot give. This is causing more stress on us which we definitely do not need now. How should I deal with them?

tanker0076 -- Welcome to in-law hell. My W and I have had a great deal of problems with my IL's so I can truly understand your situation.<P>Without going into a great deal of details here, I would suggest that you and your W look up some of the posts from myself and my W (hopeful1771) during the last couple months. This type of situation has been a frequent topic for us, and you may find some useful information.<P>If you want any other information, please feel free to E-Mail me at MB_Empty_Shell@hotmail.com or my W at hopeful1771@hotmail.com<P>God Bless

Hi Tanker -<P>First, let me say Welcome and I am sorry for all the trauma that you and your wife are going through....I am glad to see, however, that you are both trying to work this through TOGETHER.<P>That is fantastic!!!<P>As far as the inlaws, well - has your wife been able to tell them to back off a little?<P>If she tried and they just aren't listening then perhaps it is alright for you to speak to them and nicely help them to realize that their daughter is in a painful and confusing state and needs time and no added pressure to be able to figure things out.<P>If you can understand this than they should be able to give her some space to breath. <P>If your wife has not told them to back off or anything than she can say this or you can both say it together. Either way it MUST be said!!<P>Your wife cannot handle (and I'm sure that you can't either!) any more Pressure......it is between you two and noone else at this point!!<P>Hope this helps,<P>Hugs and Strength to you both,<P>Sheba

Thanks all for the support and comments. Her mother's controlling personality is part of the problem. She still treats my wife as though she is a "little girl" instead of a grown woman and my mother in-law is focused only on how the affair has affected her. I think she is more embarressed and fearful someone in the community might find out. Unfortuately, this is one more annoyance we have to deal with during this stressful time, but eventually, it will be ok.