Trixie, first off, it is a waste of time to try and reason with a WS in the throes of an affair. Your H is saying all the same crap that they all SAY. It is all drunk talk and you SHOULD NOT RESPOND or take it seriously.

Secondly, your H does not have the right to the privacy to destroy you behind your back. Stop allowing him to make you into the bad guy for snooping on him and catching him in wrongdoing. DO NOT let him distract you from his crimes with nonsensical statements like: "you are invading my privacy." It is only a diversion. He can only "create a problem" over this IF you allow him to. It is wrong to HAVE an affair, it is NOT WRONG to catch someone having an affair.

Trixie,

Ws' babble all the time. Most of which they wouldn't listen to when they were a real spouse (H or W). <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> Given that valuable piece of info, a BS can use his/her knowledge to move forward despite the status of the WS.

Remember the one you want back is your H NOT a WS. So when he threatens about invasion of privacy, it is the WS talking NOT your H. Go and learn your legal rights about e-mails. In the city in CA where I was from, we can read each others e-mails from our home computer. So if the WS was dumb enough to allow me to get acess, then he'd better deal with the fallout.

I had all that invasion of privacy stuff, never wanted to marry you, BS is too controlling, my playing mind games, threats to have me declared an unfit mother, accused of having an affair with my FIL, told I was turning everyone against him, it isn't about the OW it's about you, crap thrown at me. Most of it was babble the WS was spewing which came directly from the OW herself. So don't be surprised if you notice the WS sounding a bit feminine in his attacks on you. Pay careful attention. I asked the WS if he was gay since he was getting waaay to emotional for a guy. Did he get in touch with his feminine side or was that the OW using him as a dummy? LOL!!!

In time, after 3 years, the WS left the scene and my H returned. During those 3 years, I continued to work a very stressful job, cared for my son, helped my in-laws and other friends, posted and learned here @ MB, worked with my MC, hung onto my R w/God, prayed a lot, kept a journal, dealt w/2 miscarriages (as a result of 2 false recoveries), dealth with a rabbit of an OW who claimed t/b pregnant 3 times w/o proof, WS went to jail for 2 1/2 days on domestic violence charges, had emergency care issues with my son (asthma attack), WS went on a vacation with the OW to our favorite place (Yosemite), OW filed false RO charges against the Xws and we both were in court, I delivered a bag of his dirty work clothes laundry to the doorstep of OW's house...... and a few more things..... LOL!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> Still despite all that, we are in recovery.

WS is gone, OW is not in my life, H is back, I keep plan B in my back pocket. I have not mentioned the other life issues surrounding our family which also occured during his A. These would normally have been major issues but they all were handled by necessity of delagating it others.

I am not the worse case scenario, though I felt like it at times.

Having the OW in our home is more of an invasion of privacy than reading his e-mail.

Know your rights and limits. Learn to reverse babble. It takes practice.

take care,
L.

Wow, 3 years, Orchid. I am truly awed by your strength. Congratulations.

I used to hate the end of the weekend, now I can't wait until it's over.

See u r using your smarts to keep your cool. Quite proud of u, my dear. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Watch 'em WS eyes. Dead give away. LOL!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> Don't stare too much though....you might get caught. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

take care,

L.

I've been thinking about Orchid's method of sniffing the air and declaring that something is stinky.

In your place, and if able to afford it, I would order all new mattresses and bedding for every bed in the house. Taking it a bit further, I would spray some Lysol disinfectant around the house often. If you can't afford new mattresses and bedding, I'd spray them throroughly with the disinfectant!

If WH asks, just tell him that you're still smelling a stench, and you're not sure what kind of cooties might be causing the odor, so you're not taking chances with your family's health.

Gee...I'm starting to think a little bit like Orchid! LOL!

Hurray for me! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

I would take that mattress from the guest bedroom and set the thing on fire in the front yard. Let all the neighbors see it and they'll get the idea what's going on. You would know for sure they he would NEVER bring OW there as all the neighbors would look at your home each time they drive by. You would be the talk of the neighborhood for a while but it would offer some protection plus give the OW the message that you meant business. You would garner the respect of the wives and do them a service as their husbands would think about going down the same destructive path. Look at it as community service...besides the cooties from the nasty skank would be destroyed..

Dear JPH,

I enjoyed debating with you on the Divorce Forum. The thread started by DarkLord, entitled AN OPEN LETTER TO PRESIDENT BUSH has been locked down by the adminstrators. I tried to find a thread that you had started, and your last 250 posts do not include any threads that you have started yourself.

You might consider starting a thread of your own, so that others may make comments to you, that would be off topic for the thread where the idea arose.

Thanks again for your evocative posts.

Please excuse this Off Topic post.