I have been thinking a lot about WH's actions and behavior towards me last night. I know he is behaving this way b/c I have ruined his A(or am in the process of ruining it.) He feels nothing for me, feels indifference.

I have put up with a lot and should have exposed stronger the first time I did it. I am afraid that I am feeling nothing towards him right now. I have been putting up with a lot of this for my DS. I didn't want him to grow up without his daddy, but I also don't want him to have to continue seeing me so down and now it has gotten to the point of hearing me and WH fighting. DS deserves a happy home environment and I feel like I should begin taking steps to protect him.

I did leave WH that note last night about not speaking to me that way in front of DS again. I have not seen WH today, but he called this morning. Neither of us mentioned last night or the note. He will be home from work shortly.

I am heading out to do some things with DS, get his birthday cake ordered, etc. I will see if WH would like to come with. I will see how today goes, but truthfully I would like to consider moving into a Plan B. I have family who wants me to move and I am eager to leave this wretched area. Plan B takes place when the WH won't do NC. I don't know what's going on in that arena. I am assuming WH is probably still trying to contact OW. Doesn't it make sense to also do PLan B when the WS feels like she emotionally can't continue on with Plan A anymore??

And why do I see some posters move into a Plan B within a month's time???

What is the difference really from me staying with an H who is emotionally abusive and OW who is supposedly staying with a physically abusive H?

Kimberly
D-Day, May 14th
DS, Age 5
Married 13 years
Second exposure last week

Kim, I would give it more time. You still have opportunities to bust up this affair and I would do that first. Namely, call their bosses and expose there. Call the OWH again and tell him that his W is still in contact with your H and is telling him that the OWH beats her.

Kim, if you leave now, you will just throw your H into the arms of the OW and he will be free to carry on his affair unimpeded. He will be free to bring her to your home. If anyone leaves, it should be HIM.

Give it some time, Kim. Just know that the madder and meaner your H gets, the closer to the target you are hitting. You are taking back control of this situation, and ruining the affair. Don't give up while you have them on the run. That is not your H in there, that is an alien who is under the spell of an affair. Don't run away from it, but do everything you can to pull your H back from this evil. You are all he has.

Where is he today?

I'll try to give it a while longer Mel. I just don't know how much more I can give this. 4 months is a drop in the bucket I'm sure. I know whatever way this goes that I am giving it my all. I remember what you said last night about the madder and meaner he gets, the better of a job I am doing. Nobody said that this was going to be easy.

I wasn't planning on running & letting him have the house or anything. No way am I letting him stay here. The house is in my name anyway(not sure if that makes a diff). I would sell the house and then move.

WH had to work last night, doing service calls right now(ends at 12, but they always run a bit over) Am about to give him a call and invite him along on activities.

Kim

Kim, I know how hard this is, especially trying to figure out whether staying and fighting or moving on is best for your kids...I'm right there with ya.

Kim, here is the thing. I think you may be close to Plan B, but I think it's really important that you FIRST exhaust all opportunities in Plan A, such as exposure to the bosses and maybe one last contact with the OWH. Then you need to wait about another week to clean up that fallout so you can go dark on very good terms. The key here is that you should finish up this exposure business so you can move onto the next step.

You are probably pretty close to Plan B. I can tell you are exhausted and also very concerned for your boy. I share that concern and think you are on the right track.

Now, if you feel you cannot go further, then you should go into Plan B NOW. Only you know how much you can endure. If you want to do that now, we will support you in any way.