So here is the situation...

WS still telling me that M is over occasionally in words but she acts like we are still maried andasks for things, Favors, and from time to time wants to spend time together. Nothing new there (fence sitting). Today, she asks me about a number of thinsg financially and then breaks right into the line "my session with Steve H was not marriage counseling, I was talking to him so he could help you and don't worrk it will never happen again. Obviously my response was that she had agreed to read the 2 books, hear me out and do the assignment from Steve with me then speak with Steve again. She said we'll see how this week goes and then maybe I will. I just left adn ended the conversation because she was being so nosty to me. I called later to see if she wanted to get lunch and she was so pleasant adn nice and willing to talk. She is so difficult to understand sometimes. Towards he end on a relatively good conversation she starts with the "you have done this to us, you are the one who has been doing this for 8 months adn now just because you say you are sorry you expect me to just say OK. You need to take responsobility for your actions." I responded by saying I have. I admit what I have done wrong adn I am trying very hard to change things going forward. If your not willing to then there is nothing I can do, so lets try to make this as easy for the kids as possible. She said and this is where I need your help with a response...

WS: you are the one that made sure we don't have a chance at this marriage.

ME: your right I did do things wrong, but I am doing everything I can think of to make it right adn put our family back together.

WS: You arrogant A$$ H***, you are teh one who started all of this and you are the one who didn't want us for so long, you did this. I am not having an affair I have moved on. I am doing nothing wrong and feel absolutely no guilt. If you had really loved me and the kids you would never have done what you did. You don't love anyone.

ME: ????? I didn't know what to say so I didn't say anything but I would love to have a response lined up for this frequent line from her something that will take the wind out of her sail on this.

Maybe there isn't any better response but I figured I would try.

SC

Dear Seeking
I don't have any help for you, (I'm the type of person that when confronted with a situtation, I think of the perfect response, after everyone has moved on, <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> Lol) I'll be waiting for our quick witted posters to help

Reverse babble: I can only work on what I can control. Right now I have cleaned up my 'azz' and now you are playing the WS role. If you feel you are doing nothing wrong, then stop bein g so angry at the good things I am doing. As for loving you and the children, I do love you both and learning to show it better than ever before. So you are wrong when you say I don't love anyone.

Since I have been in your shoes (so to speak), I understand how your mind and heart are playing tricks with your sense of reason. I can clearly see where you are at now vs where you should be. Not ao point to argue, just a fact.

Don't pour your anger on our family and that includes me. You are doing something (call it what you want) that is making you angry at our family. Stop that for all our sakes.


Orchid: That w/b my response. Instead of reverse babbling, I think you ought to talk straight up to her. Why? Because she is trying to get you to take her blame and you know her tactics.

Stand your ground. U R better than she is at this time.
Fight for your family. Present you and the children as 1 pkg. What happens to one happens to all.

take care,
L.

I like this Orchid it emminates what I was thinking but couldn't put into words. I will try this...I actually think she wouldnt have a clue how to respond. We'll see. I bet you anything that she will be nice as pie later on today. THis is her MO...all about justification. to be honest with you I am very close to giving up. I jsut don't kow how much more energy I have for this drama. Holding fast for now...

SC

For what the heck is your WW accusing you? Any specifics?
Not that alien speak makes any sense, but her entitlement is darn right mean and nasty! From what planet number is she?

lost:

Note the signature to his email. He had an A that ended January, 2005, and then she is in an A that he discovered June, 2005.

She may be having a revenge A, or she may have moved on emotionally.

Sorry, but this is out of my league..