Just curious ---- How many BS are sleeping in the same bed with their WS?? If you are not sleeping in the same bed, who made the choice to move to another bedroom?

In my case, WH moved himself to the guest bedroom after I re-exposed last week. Has been there ever since. We had a confrontation again on Saturday night about the exposure so that got him all riled up as well.

What gets me is that the WS has the audacity to believe the BS has done something horrid(I know in the WS eyes we have, we have shined the light on their affair), but in ALL REALITY they are the last ones who should be able to pass judgement on another.

The WS is ANGRY at the BS. Personally, I have been nothing but patient, supportive and loving to try to help WS deal with the A and take the right steps to recovery. No name calling or righteousness. Then, when the tables are turned - WATCH OUT.

Woe is me. One day I believe the reality of all this will hit the WS smack in the face, bowl him over and leave him rolling in the dirt.

Would love to hear what the sitch is with everybody else!

Kimberly
D-Day, May 14th
DS, age 5
Re-exposed last week....WS civil with me now, but still in the other room

He doesn't really believe that at all. It is a ruse to try to divert blame from himself. Don't think for a minute he believes you are the bad guy. If he can get YOU to believe he does, though, then he can put you on the defensive. It's a con game. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

Hi Kim. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

When I was the WS, I never slept in another room - My A was twisted in the sense I didn't want to leave, and I more wanted to try to rekindle my marriage and was jsutifying the A as helping do that...

When my H was the WS...that was another story. he slept in the basement the day he started dabling in singles forums, and for the month and a half that followed. The more deep he got - the less time he spent around us. When I tried to expose, I got told I was vindictive and I would always try to ruin his life, you know having an affair, telling his girlfriends he's still married...not letting him live his single life...okay - one in there counts...the rest sure doesnt.

Then he left for a month.

Since he got back the basement is OFF limits in our house now. He suggested I sleep down there one night so I could get a good nights sleep and I just about kicked him and reminded him why I wont go down there - he shut right up.

Sleeping away from you helps justify in his mind he is seperated from you and not really married to you...it's just one more justification.

I continued a sorta Plan A while H was down there - changed his sheets lots, set his alarm, if he slept through it - still woke him up - brought him tea while he was online with his gf's....then went upstairs and puked. then kept working on myself aince I couldn't keep working on the marriage while he was doing that.

Good Point Mel!!! You are so right - I didn't think of it that way - <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/ooo.gif" alt="" />

By the way, have called OWH but have not gotten him ....will keep trying til I do though(tomorrow, too late tonight).

Hi back to you! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Kim

Yeah, and he's also not wearing his wedding ring....another way to show he's "not married to me".

Dorry, wow, I don't think I could have been so nice with bringing tea down while WS was on-line with gf's. That must have taken a lot for you to do that.

Glad to hear that no one is in the basement now!!

Kim

FWS and I slept in the same bed through seven months of plan A....it was hard for both of us at times when one or both of us could not sleep. We were never the type to sleep apart.

He also lost his wedding ring one day when we were together. He did not get it replaced until just a few months ago....about nine months into recovery.

We were in Plan A and he left on a trip. I also left on a trip of my own, but did not tell him because I planned on getting home before he did. Unfortunately, he came home early and found that I had left and left my wedding ring at home. He hit the ceiling, bounced and then hit the ceiling again. He was so mad that I did not take my wedding ring. He was in the middle of his A and he was mad at me for that...I was "fog" lectured. I just took it as babble.

Never did sleep apart.....but I did go out of town for a week the day after I found out about the A.
Sometimes, if I am having a hard time and can't get to sleep because of my mind pictures and his snoring, I go down on the couch. It feels to painful to just lay there and think.

Wife moved into a motel on d-day, while waiting for about 4 days for the flight to go live with OM...whom she'd never met face-to-face.

When she DIDN'T get on the plane that Friday, she was in IMMEDIATE withdrawl and grief from the end of the affair. Neither of us could sleep in the bedroom (won't go into details, but lets just say that they weren't intimate PHYSICALLY)...so we slept on seperate couches in the living room. We kept that up for about a week, and then moved to an in-house seperation, where I slept down in the den and we rearranged the bedrooms so that she had the smallest one for herself. We lived like that for about another three weeks before we reconciled.

It was another two weeks before we were able to move back into a bedroom together tho...we both slept in the den together until then.

Exposure was 10 days ago. WW has been in the guest room ever since. She bought me a couple of things we'd shared before (hairdryer etc), so WW seemingly intends it to continue quite awhile. MC suggested we continue that, he called it 'in-house separation'. We're cordial but detached at this point, and no R or A talk.

Forgot to mention WW threatened D b/c I exposed, and interviewed D attorneys. Continues to talk with D attorneys. No D papers yet. Not sure which way this will go.

My w/h and I have slept every night together minus one night when I slept on the couch after he called me the enemy.
I don't think we have had more than one night of good sleep since he said he didn't love me anymore.
Although, I will say the last few days a lot of our sleeplessness has more to due with making woopie than being upset or worried. I am filling his en's as much as he wants or needs plus some. I don't think we have been this active since our honeymoon 26 years ago. I enjoy every minute of it, and am always eager for more. I am going to plan A him to the point that he won't have any choice but to fall in love with me again. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />