I don't know If any of you have seen my previous postings, but, through this ordeal I have been going through with WW.
I have had a good friend to talk to.
She has been a source of strength for me, In the early days when I thought my WW was wandering, she reasoned that things may not be as they seemed.
Anyhow since A has been exposed. She has been very supportive and a great person to talk too! She has made me laugh, when I have been down, and reasoned with me on irrational thought's.
Now then.... Last night, she asked about doing a double date with her friend and a blind date, we gave one another a hug, but It was a long hug, with good feelings from both sides. I realy like this lady, Is It so wrong to want to feel good feelings again. I am not planing on anything more than a nice time, but I feel it will become more.
Let me make this clear, this is not to get back at my STBX It is about spending time with someone I genuinly admire and think well of, and I know she thinks the same.

this is YOU
this is YOU breaking your marital vows
this is YOU breaking your marital vows inspite of anything your spouse does or doesn't do


this is YOU
having an EMOTIONAL AFFAIR

ARK^^
relative moralism

You are persuing a relationship with another woman.

Who are you? Who do you want to be?
How does that person behave?

Stop it now you clown, or you lose the moral high ground and everything spirals down hill. Have you lost your mind? Your OW sees an easy target...free meat!

Sweet Jesus you people, keep your freaking pants on!

(unless you want to really destroy your marriage, in that case, go for it)

I may not be one of the pros on here...but having dealt with an issue similar to this recently I would ask you to step back and look at the BIG picture here...if the sitch was reversed, would you want your wife to have an A while you were? Would you feel it would be justified for her to do it. Yes, we can ALL understand the pain and hurt you feel now. We are all there right with you and let me tell you that there is nothing better than a really good hug when you are emotionally down and drained. BUT you are married. YOU have also taken vows. Back to the old school saying Two wrongs don't make a right? What will happen if you cross this line? Is it worth losing a friendship over? If your WW finds out and you know she will...you've just given her every reason to stay where she is instead of working on the M. You wouldn't be the lighthouse for your WW if you partake. I hope you find it in your heart to keep your friendship just where it is a friendship and if you feel you can't leave it alone, then please let go of the friendship.

My BS best friend (also my best GUY friend, or was) come on to me ever since WS moved out. I've had my head filled with so much crap from him that it could fill a football stadium. I've told him time and time again, not going there. I love BS and you are a friend. OUR friend. It got to the point where I have cut off all communication with him because he started telling OUR other friends we were an item and we were going to get married. SICK...but that's my drama....

Mntony,

BIG NO NO...AND NO BUTS ABOUT IT!!

AND YOU KNOW IT'S A NO NO. YA KNOW?

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

A big No No, you know.

Do you know why it's a Big No No?

Do you agree that it is?

Do you suppose maybe it's a little more serious than calling it a "No No" makes it sound?

Shoot, I didn't want to sound like I was wagging a finger at you. Sorry. But it's true, your idea is a bad one.

GC

My WH only had S with OW 2 times in the 6 months of the A. So what!!! He talked to her every day. It still would have been an A if he had never even been in the same room with OW. When picking a MC, I purposly picked a woman because I knew I was at risk for developing feelings for any male that I could confide in. It's not about getting back at WS. Just like WS did not set out to punish you. It's just wrong!

if the two of you get back together....

do you really want to live with the guilt of allowing someone other than your wife be the one to meet your emotional needs.

Do you really want to give her a reason to think what she did isn't so bad?

Do you really want to just feel better now-regardless of what it means for your future? Isn't that the same thing your wife is doing?

Please make the right choice for yourself....and your marraige.

from what you wrote...I think your feelings for her, and hers for you are too strong for it to be in your best interest to continue this "frienship"

You sound exactly like my WAH.
Don't be a jerk!
This was his rationale.....we were having problems, and I needed someone to talk to , blah, blah, blah.....
Preach it to the choir, cause this woman over here ain't listening.

When you spend time alone with someone who makes you feel special it WILL turn in to something else.

You say she is a good friend yet she asks you to go on a double date even tho she knows you are married. Good friends to not encourage such behavior.

"It started out as friendship and one thing led to another" What my H said on D-day.

Call our Dorry and ask her how she feels about such a 'no no' when her H had a revenge affair.

Thank you all,
of course your right, all of you.
Except for the clown comment <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> comedian maybe <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
For the record, the foresome thing was to be 2 friends going out with 2 possible partners, but I knew In my heart It would open a door to something more!!
One of the reasons this place Is important to me, is that you can find the voice of reason, and stay away from making "BAD" life long choices, both in dealing with our WW and relationships in general.
I spoke at length with my friend and expressed my thoughts, and that I need some space, for my heart and soul.
Many words written here were soo true, and have helped me a great deal.
I could have made a huge mistake! and my thank's go out to you. Sometimes It's so easy to take the wrong road, I'm glad I have been guided to the right road.

Tony