Here is an email we got in our wonderings yahoo inbox this morning. Anyone else get something similiar? We simply responded by requesting an identity (tough to debate a ghost - kinda like arguing in a mirror -- or with a fogged out wayward alien in general). We "wondered" if anyone else got this humorous email today. We were soooooooooooooooooo very hurt by this <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> bwahahahahahaaaaaa.


Mr & Mrs Wondering

Oi Vay...nope...nothing in my inbox but I'm just a peon (sp?) around here...how did they get your email...that's a bit scary and intrusive no?

It's really "no big", as it's an email address set up only for Marriage Builders, and we haven't given it out all that much anyway...We really don't go through life "counseling" people as "The_Wonderings"...Haaaaa! Just thought we'd give everyone else a chuckle... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Mr. & Mrs. Dubya

Maybe bbqdad's OW is sad that her fun affair is being exposed.

Just curious...do you charge by the hour?

Oooh SexyLisa, for "Counseling" or are you refering to some other nefarious endeavor?
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

The Dubs

lol. that's pretty funny! Sounds like you pushed some real brightbulb's buttons. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

True...looks like we may get to be labeled as the "rabble rousers" around here... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

Mr. & Mrs. Dubya

you are a rabble rouser and you know it! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I wonder why I didn't get a sanctimonious email?? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> I feel cheated. lol

I wouldn't want to cause I like ya <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> But I can send you one - cept it wouldn't annonymous lol


That's crazy dubya's! Are you two causing trouble <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> NOW BEHAVE!!!

dorry, I take it you were cheated too?? lol

I was sadly - and I could have used the fun today <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> lol

I don't feel very special <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> not as special as the dubyas *sigh*

Well Melody, Dorry and everyone else that felt "cheated" that they didn't receive a "nastygram"...we got to the bottom of it, and thought we'd give an update...

We just got off the phone with Fooled99...for any of you that haven't followed his story, he is dealing with a WW who suffers from Bipolar Disorder (something that Mrs. Wondering's dad is also afflicted with)...anywho, we also received an email from her (from one of her personal accounts), which we will post below, with permission from Fooled99, to illustrate the extreme "mood swings" associated with this very difficult mental illness in a relatively short time span...

Fooled explained that the "nastygram" was sent by his WW from her sister's account, and that it was most definitely from her, as her sister is aware of the situation, and would never have sent something like that...

Everyone say a prayer for Fooled, he related to us what he went through last night...After his WW told him that she was too ill to take him out for his birthday, he went over to her house to give her a copy of HN/HN that she requested, only to find her getting ready for a date with one of her OM's. (yes, there have been more than one)

Also include in your prayers his WW, as she was just released from a psychiatric hospital on Wednesday with her second diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder. She was given medication for treatment, but one of the greatest struggles that someone with this illness faces is not only the acceptance of the diagnosis itself, but staying on the prescribed medication even once they do. We wish her well...

As promised, here is the second email that we received...




Mr. & Mrs. Wondering

Well Mrs. Dubya - we all know there are two sides to a story - and Ms. Fooled sounds like so many of us FWS trying to make ourselves sound better, that there are two sides, and that life is so hard for us.

Maybe you can reach out to her - while she is getting treated for her bi-polar?

They are in my prayers!

Dissecting babble and gibberish.

I have to take the time to dissect this babble and gibberish that is 70 – 80% nonsence!

Yes my WW sent the "Nastygram" and I can confirm it 100%. Sis is out of state in a small town that doesn't even have access to internet, so there's no way Sis sent it. She wouldn't even if she were here! I can't stand cowards that won't sign their name to such nonsence.

Read my posts under fooled99 to see what I've been through, but only if you feel like getting ill!

Here's my response to her non-anonomous email she sent to the Wonderings:

From WW's personality #2:

"I have read all of his posts, and I do know he is a
desperate man."

My only desperation has been to save your life and our marriage!

"I am truly grateful for the help and support you have given him."

No your not, BUT I AM! You see it as a threat to your irrationality, which of course, it is! I’ve seen how angry you get when we’ve talked about this forum!

"He needs friends and people he can rely on."

Yeah, mainly my wife! But I’ve never once been able to rely on her, except to do horrible things to me and our marriage. And she’s isolated me from most my friends, including my best friend, the best man at our wedding, that she had an affair with.

"I truly believe that God sanctifiies marriage, but he does not intend for people to make each other miserable."

This is not an excuse for divorce, regardless of what you've been told. Please re-consider Christianity! The misery we've experienced is because of your affairs, and mental illness that most would have fled from long ago. Consider researching how Bipolar’s destroy the lives of a spouse! It should horrify you! But I've stayed by your side as I vowed to, taking the sanctity of our marriage seriously! Did you? No!

"I tried to talk to Fool99 and he totally disregarded my feelings."

More nonsense! You’ve disregarded my feelings and I've been desperately trying to consider yours and how I could change things. Counseling, Reatrovaille, Divorce Busters, Marriage Builders, ect., you name it. What effort have you put into it other than to destroy my feelings? None!

"So...I have pretty much accepted the fact that I will be lonely for the rest of my life until just recently when HE filed for divorce. I know he has not disclosed this to you bcause it would make him out to be the bad guy."

Your loneliness is a result of your actions and disregard for me. I've tried everything I can to bring us closer together. I filed for divorce AFTER you returned from an affair with another man (that I pleaded with you not to do) and spending 4 nights alone with him in a Hotel room in the same bed, and after blatantly lying about it to everyone including me, our marriage counselor, your family, and anyone else who you know would be disgusted by this activity. See who else you can convince that this wasn't an affair! But, after the other man dumped you and you came crying to me, I decided to withdraw my Petition for Divorce under the guise you wanted reconciliation which was simply more lies. You did however, file a Counter Claim for Divorce and have been perusing it fully! I did disclose my Petition for Divorce. This type of blatant affair is where I, and any other "sane" person would draw the line. However, I was hoping to shock you into reality, but your still in Dland, and that's a terrible place to be!

"I know I am just as much to blame as he is."

You don't believe you're to blame in the least!

"I am not trying to justify my actions, but I DO need to have emotional relationships with people, whether male or female."

If you're not trying to justify your actions that implies you know your actions we're wrong! You need to have an emotional relationship with your husband first and foremost which I had been so desperately trying to do. But it’s been met with resistance due to your emotional and / or physical affairs with other men. I’ve told you over and over that we can’t have a strong emotional relationship while you’re having one with another man, but you chose to ignore our marriage instead. You may need to do some research, perhaps start with Marriage 101 to keep it really simple for you, or try some books with big pictures if you need to, and see that this behavior will destroy a marriage, and that the bond of fidelity is broken when you seek any kind of emotional relationship / support outside the marriage. You can also find this in the bible if you’re still considering Christianity? Some things are sacred to the marriage; this is certainly one of them. Also, THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR AN AFFAIR, NONE. DOESN'T MATTER THAT YOU MAY HAVE FELT YOUR EMOTIONAL NEEDS WERE NOT BEING MET. NO EXCUSE AT ALL. Find anyone credible who disagrees with this!

"No, I am not perfect, but there is no way I can describe the emotional abuse and torment he has put me through for the last 4 years."

This is Psyco-bable and transference, due to your illness. You've put yourself through your own emotional abuse and torment as you have for your whole life! Mine as well. Any emotional "abuse" I've demonstrated was from your total disregard for me, our marriage, and your continued affairs beginning with my best friend! I've also apologized over and over for any pain I caused. Have you? Of course not!

"So yes, I have made the decision to RUN, RUN, Run, and the more
he pushes me, the faster I go."

That would have been nice to know PRIOR to me spending $100.00 on a Reatrovaille deposit which you backed out of because of your mental state. It would have also been nice to know before all my other continued attempts to help our relationship, but it's consistent with your character of lies, lies, and more lies! Don't worry; you need to run no more! But you may want to consider doing some reflecting in a way that doesn't include a mirror!

"Don't even know why I'm explaining all this to you."

So you can try and justify your illicit behavior and activities.

"but there are always 2 sides to every story, and I don't think you can objectively give someone advice until you have heard both sides."

That is so true and I couldn't agree more! However, they must be accurate accounts of the story!

"Just wanted to let you know I am not a horrible person"

You're not a horrible person; you simply have a horrible illness that causes you to do horrible things!

"and I care about people immensely--i guess that's why I have stuck in this relationship for so long."

You care about people (men) who will validate your irrational behavior and ideas. Being a former bachelor, I know what that's all about, believe me, and that's been a huge problem. Who else do you care about? Your family? My family? God? Me? I've never seen it. You bailed out on this relationship a long time ago, when you started your affair with Jeremy in Sacramento, and I got mad because I thought it would be destructive to our already "frail" marriage. I was certainly right!

"But now it's time to take care of myself."

Yes, you absolutely must. And you need to do it without having to rely on me or anyone else which will be the first time in your life you've done that. I wish you luck and much success!

"I admit I have a hard time with that let alone taking care of us both.. I just can't do it."

This is where I want to put the gun to my head, [censored] the hammer, and pull the trigger! WHAT IN THE ****** ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!!! WHAT HAVE YOU EVER DONE TO TAKE CARE OF US??? You can't even take care of yourself and I've been enabling you by taking care of you since I met you! This is insanity at its greatest! Site one single instance, I dare you!

Your right you “just can’t do it.” Not about taking care of us as you so irrationally believe, but ANYTHING! Day after day you're in bed saying you can't do anything, "it's just too hard". That's become your signature response to EVERY CHALLENGE YOU'VE EVER FACED AS LONG AS I'VE KNOWN YOU! You are a quitter and a coward because you won't face anything that's difficult, and to say anything opposite of that would be INSANITY! How many other people know this about you? Quite a few!

"I hope you will be there to continue to support him because he needs it."

I'm sure they will be here to support me because they've said so. It's a horrible thought to think you can put 1000% more trust into a stranger, someone you just met, rather than your own wife! But that's the sad reality of the situation. I'll I've ever wanted from my wife was love, trust and support! I may have been given some love in the beginning, but trust and support? Never! I'm grateful for their support and everyone else’s support as you've continued to destroy our marriage!

*** These are the facts of your statements. It’s time you leave Dland once and for all. It’s a horrible place for you or anyone else. I wish you much luck and success in breaking out! I wish I could simply send you a cake with a file inside, but its going to take much more!

"Oh what tangled webs we weave, when first we practice to deceive!"

I can't believe that you are giving out your wife's email, especially if she needs some medical help. I hope you will remove it, or I will report you to the mods.

Yes, you can certainly see from her dual personality what I’ve put up with for so long. I’m so glad she provided this “proof”. It’s much more credible coming from the source.

She can be so sweet, so charming, and so delightful, that hardly anyone could see the other side that’s the most horrible thing you’ve ever seen.

That’s why when she “slanders” me to friends of hers, (not local family, they know me much better) that she’s taken with such credibility!

So many people that we both know have almost shunned me. They say nothing of course, but you can see it in their expression. I’ve caught her “slandering” me via instant messenger with her family that lives far away. *** says not to worry about it, because “they know her”, but I do worry about her lies and fantasy world no one else sees. It took me almost 2 years of marriage to see it!

She slandered me to my own mother!

Anyway, I’m glad she made my point for me!

Thanks Hun!

Fooled

It's removed. But I know she reads this post if anyone would like to send her a message.

Fooled!

From WW personality 1:
[color:"red"] [/color] [color:"red"] [/color] [color:"red"] [/color]
"HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY counsel people you don't even know."

This is not counseling, it's support. The best advise I've ever been given has come from people who have experienced the same thing. Who best to learn from but someone who's been in the exact same boat!

"What are your credentials??"

The credentials are quite impressive actually. Of course, WW would know this if engaging brain before opening mouth! All she would have to do is read the threads of their coping with infidelity and a bipolar father of 30+ years. What a blessing to learn so much from someone's experiences with Both these issues. A blessing for me of course, not for them.

"I understand your position on taking care of one's self, but otherwise it seems like you people have NO LIFE other than nosing into everyone else's problems."

No one is “nosing” into anyone’s business. This forum is based on people who share very similar circumstances. The information is given and taken voluntarily!

If some of us appear to have “NO LIFE” it’s simply because selfish WS’s like yourself have taken away our life. We’re here in an effort to understand what’s going on with the one we love. Meanwhile, the WS’s do what they do with no conscience or regards for their commitments, marriage, values, or anything else. Yes you WS’s do have a life. It’s a selfish life, and not one that will never provide meaning or happiness. These people are the REAL people.

You sure were much more supportive of this forum in your non-anonymous post. Were you telling the truth? Oh yes, I believe I was able to point much of that out!

I can't tell you the amount of support this forum has given me, and as usual, WW is simply wrong. Angry and wrong!

Yes, the stories are different, but the situations are all eerily similar.

Fooled~

I understand your anger and bitterness in regards to the latest set of events that have unfolded in your life. If it helps you to vent here, and it gives you peace, then that is okay. Be careful that your words aren't causing you additional anxiety or upset.

My counselor gave me these guidelines...if you are doing or saying something with the intent of helping or changing yourself, then great, but if your motives are to change someone else, especially if they are directed at changing a mentally ill person, then you are wasting your time and energy, as well as giving yourself possible false hope. Remember, be surprised and delighted if change does occur and is maintained by someone with Bipolar Disorder, and recognize those changes as ones made by the affected person on their own...don't expect change and maintenance where this very cunning disorder is concerned, if you do, your expectations may certainly lead you down a very cruel path of disappointment and pain...the road to recovery for someone with Bipolar Disorder is always racked with uncertainty and rockiness, even in the best of times...YOU can only control YOU...Please consider individual counseling to help heal YOU...

Mrs. Wondering