My WW started A 10 weeks ago, It's all been pretty bad.
Altough I offered councelling, she refused and is head strong for divorce. We have come up with a divorce plan (shared custody, I get the house but give her equity)
I am being pushed into divorce though I don't want to.

The thing Is, If WW does not even want to try, what's the point? She is continuing A with OM. Apparently their in love <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />
This week end she I moving out, and living with mom and dad.
I do have an attorney, It's not that. I'm having a hard time with It all. I know thing will be better when she's gone. The tension in the house these past weeks you could cut with a knife. I have asked WW what her plans are. She just flat out tells me It's none of my buisiness. What I do know Is that the furniture, and other large Items are going to OM. I am sure she would be moving in with him, but It's too far to drive our son back and forth to school (50 miles away)
I think I should just work on myself, It's just so depressing.

She's in the fog. Read all you can on the site about this.
And get a counselor for yourself to help you deal with the grief.

She's in the throes of infatuation. If you believe it could still work out with you two, I wouldn't immediately give in to her request for a divorce, wait for her to live with the guy for awhile and find out he's only human too. I"m not sure I understand about your son, she's leaving him with you because OM lives too far away?? More info please.

Foolishtoo

" She just flat out tells me It's none of my buisiness" :rollyeyes:

It's incredible how a cheaters mind works.

Glad to hear she's moving out. You don't need this tension, nor do you need someone who is betraying you in your home rubbing your nose in it. I would not have believed this at one time, but having been through it, I now firmly believe that once an affair has been exposed, the cheater should be given a choice: end the affair immediately or pack your bags and get out. You do not get to live in our marital home while you are betraying our marriage. This doesn't mean that you will go for a D, but only that you don't enable the behavior and make it very hard for her to have her affair. If you haven't done so already, expose the affair -- to everyone including her family, friends and associates.

My WW is moving what she's taking from the home (couch's tables, furniture) 50% basicaly. And moving It to OM, however he lives 50 miles away and we are doing split custody of our son, one week with me one with her. To do this however she will live with her parents, who live 20 miles from me.
I can only assume that the week she does not have our son she will stay with OM. I exposed A to all when I found out. WW has got around this by saying were not having an affair he's a supportive friend, although she admits they are Physicaly Intimate (if you can understand that, your a better person than I). To be truthful, I don't know If I want her back, she causes soo much pain and has done untold harm to all. Her family for right now are very supportive of me, but who knows how long that will last. I never would have beleived the person I was with, could do the things she has done this past 10 weeks. I do not recognise her anymore, It's terribly sad. She is in such a financial mess also, but all of that is her own doing!!

Well, WW moved out early Saturday morning, so far It has been a huge relief, my son was with me this weekend. WW will have him for the next 7 days starting today. It's strange but I have not missed her at all, but maybe that will come!! For right now I'm just focusing on my son and I. He seems to be taking It very well, actualy has not mentioned anything, I have had him pretty occupied with friends/movies and stuff.
So what Is the process now.
It realy would seem that my WW and OM have their relationship In full swing, I also found out, he Is supporting her financialy as well. I'm not sure If that's good or bad

"actualy has not mentioned anything"

"So what Is the process now."

Don't even think about what your WW and her OM are doing. Forget them. What you have to do now is get your little one to talk about this. He may appear to be taking it well, but he isn't. His welfare and enotional health are your primary concern. I remember when my parents divorced, my mother kept telling everyone how well I was doing with it all. But I wasn't. I was in shock. No one knew, because no one asked me how I felt and drew me out. Within six months I was showing classic signs of childhood depression, including hoarding behavior, academic failure, behavioral problems and resentment of authority figures. I had to get through it alone because I parents were to tied up in their own lives to be concerned with mine. Don't let this happen to your boy.

Mine doesn't think he is doing anything wrong either, although admits to physical things. It's amazing. he won't move out though because we get the house with his job. I wish you the best!

I should change the subject to: From one living h*!! to another.
WW has become more and more mean, she cannot even talk anymore with nasty swear words, and screaming at the top of her voice. She Swears at me and call me names, while my poor son Is even in the same room. I have asked her to stop her emotional outburst's. There Is so much hatred for me from her, she Is so bitter, you would not believe.
Although she supposedly left on Saturday, she returns daily to get more things and strip our home bare. I just remain calm, politely ask that she does not take a certain Item as It was a gift to me from whomever, or that she does not dump her clothes / shoes she no longer wants in the, now full garbage. But maybe donates them to goodwill (charity) When I have asked these things she goes Into fit's of rage.
Thank you CheckUheart for your imput, this last few days have been very hectic for my son. He will be back with me on Sunday for 7 days Yeah!!! At which time I will talk to him, hold him and love him, and let him talk about his feelings and ways to express them, I am also going to get a book that a 9 year old can read to help with this. I have also requested a school counselor meet with him, to help him at this time.

"maybe there is a chance she will want to come back to me emotionally"

Change the locks immediately. Tell her that she may not be in that house without your being there. Nothing else in the house is to be removed until there is a court approved settlemnet in place.

When she starts ranting, simply hang up. If she is at your house, invite her to leave immediately. If she refuses, call the police and have her removed. If she get violent, file charges for spousal abuse and ask the court to award you custody, with her having only supervised visitation.

I cannot change the locks until we have an agreement in place, and the case Is filed, and unfortunatelyfor me It Is bitter sweet, as far as her being out of the house. Which Is something I need, she threatens to return If I make a comment of what she takes.
I have purchased a recorder, and when she rants again I intend to tape It and call the police, then I will have evidence and not hear say.

Uh, check with your lawyer on that. When you leave the marital home during seperation, you cannot be denied reasonable access in most state, but you can be denied unaccompanied access.

Good idea about the taping. A guy I work with did this and then when his STBX, in a custody hearing, started detailing an incident when he became abusive and really got her scared (she had a GF there helping her in her little trick), his laywer played the recording he had made for the judge. It clearly showed that it was she who had provoked the incident, was behaving like a maniac, seemed mentally unstable and possibly dangerous. The judge ordered a psychiatric eval and awarded temporary sole custody to the father.

Whooaa! WW realy lost It last night, she showed up around 6.30pm to take more stuff from the house, so i left as It is very hard for me to watch her do this. I was only gone 20 minutes when she called my cell saying our son was out of control. I returned immeadiately to find them flipping out at one another. I calmed the situation down, and tried as best as I could for them to "Make up". Which did not happen.
I found out that WW said some off hand sarcastic remark to my son, he then spat at her, and she hit him in the face and pulled his hair, It would appear at that point they got in a scuffle, he threw her cell phone and broke it.
She threw his bike at our car and dented It, the whole thing was just a mess.
I asked her to leave, as things were not getting any better. I also told her she Is an adult, and physical violence against my child is inexcusable. i called the sheriffs office, a deputy came out and took a statement from my son. He said child protection services may or may not be contacting me.
I feel so bad for my son. All this is so unfair, he's nine for pete's sake. Already his life Is becoming such a mess.

The police can really help.
My kids still remember the day when the police came.

You can change the locks if you can get her to sign something that says she agrees. My X did this (although the police told me he could break in any time he wanted and they could do nothing about it, they also advised me to write a note and post it on every window stating that if a locksmith were called to change the locks, they were to call the police immediately.
And I had my house on "house watch" where the police would check on it (and on us) during the stressful times.

good luck and stay strong. You are in the crazy time. it will end.

Thank's Newly,
I'm still in status quo, It's been the hardest part of my life, that's for sure!!!!
She's out of the house, altough still comes back to drop off / pick up our son. I don't want to change the locks yet, as our son let's her in anyway. I realy don't want to tell him he can't (she Is still his mom) I don't want him in the middle. I have told her though, enter the home with respect as you are a visitor, and stop keep taking more stuff. or I will make sure you don't come in unless with the police.
My heart Is realy heavy, I still can't fully sleep. I force myself to eat. I keep reading the post's to help my recovery but I still feel lost, uncertain and so very alone. I try to keep happy for my son, I do not want to bring him down. Funny thing though through all this I have not shed one tear (and I cry at lassie movies)

I only changed the locks after my X removed all of the business office and files while I was on a business trip. Now, I did the accounting for the business, so since he removed the last of his reason to come in the house, my lawyer said to change the locks. My X left and never came back.
Now, in the last 4 years, I've seen evidence of spending that implies he must have been hiding quite a bit of money while we were married.