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#1485533 09/27/05 10:08 PM
Joined: Aug 2005
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WH's latest roadblock to wanting to work on our M is saying that "we're just different people" This makes it hard for me to argue that working on the marriage will make us both happy. He, of course, says he was miserable in the M and this lead to the A. So, pointing to 'the good ole days before things went bad' doesn't work either, as he's rewritten 8 years of history.

Is this 'different' people and 'basic incompatibility' argument he is using a fog thing or is there some validity to this? How do I respond to this stonewalling?

Thanks!


Trixie
TrixieMB #1485534 09/27/05 10:21 PM
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Why is he still there?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Thanks, ML. His lawyer is drafting the Separation Agreement that should be ready any day. So, I imagine he would say, 'I'm trying to leave.'


Joined: Jun 2005
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Hi Trixie,

Just my 2 cents for what it's worth. I have asked similar questions here as well and what I've been told is to assume the A is still going on until you see changes in your WH's behavior (ie. NC letter, transparency, willingness, etc.)

OW may be "trying" to work on her M, but if she's keeping your WH around, she's not giving it her all. As you well know by your own WH's actions.

Until your WH ends all contact with her as HIS decision, not hers, act as though the A is still in progress. He's still foggy.

I don't know how long you've been doing Plan A, but the sep. agreement was something you probably needed to do to protect yourself financially.


BS: 37 (me)
WH: 35
D-Day: 6/10/05
Plan A'd from a distance - WH moved out
Plan B started: 10/04/05
Plan B fell apart: 10/14/05
Back on the Plan B pony 10/23/05
Baby stepping in recovery since 11/06/05

Moderated by  Fordude 

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