I read hear all the time even if I do not post all the time. Sometimes I get blue reading how couples recover it makes me sad that I will never have that chance. I still have love in my heart for him but not much hope in there. I just feel he is to far gone now that he lives with OW. It makes it hard to read here sometimes. Not that I am not happy for the ones who's WS finally get it. Because I am I am just sad and dismayed that minw hasn't. Yes my anger has faded until he does something stupid and wonders why I just don't get over it.

That is when I want to kick him in the Nu**$ and say why don't you just get over that.He thinks making my life hard is a benifit to the kids and he get angry because DD12 chews him a new one doesn't think she needs to know that mom is broke and can't afford the stuff we use to do. I really don't see a problem with that. She deserves the truth about why mom can't afford such and such. I have a right to be angry and to not talk to him. Every conversation that I have had with him he just end up throwing OW in my face and cussing me out. So I hang up and don't answer the phone. Have explained the rules time and time again. I think he has got it now I haven't heard a peep out of him all week. Most likely won't until next time for vist with kids.

Ya know I tried to do things the easy way with him but eveytime I gave an inch he would take advantage of it and go a mile and wonders why I lash out at him. I was never allowed to grieve for my FIL or his GF. I don't have the time between work and kids and dealing with his mess. I just don't.

The thing I still haven't gotten is I didn't nag Didn't have to know where he was all the time gave him the freedom to do as he pleased. Always made the impossible possible for him was supportive in anything he wanted to do. Was ready to try something new if he wanted gave sf as much as he or I wanted never said no to that.Took care of the kids and his grandfather full time worked parttime. was understanding and trusting when we couldn't spend more time together because of his work. I may not have been the best house keeper and occasionaly I asked him to do something when he came home from work. But I was always a good wife to him because I respected him and accepted him for who he was and still I got lied to.
So at what point did I become such a bad partner That wasn't worth a shot to make it work. So unreasonable that he couldn't talk to me. Was such a [email]bi@#$[/email] that he could not believe that I could and would forgive him and thought we could make it work. It may have taken me a long time to forget it but I could trust him again if he earned it. I feel since my best friend left and hasn't made a return that he never will and I am wasting hope on a loser that always was but I was to thick to see it.

Just a little vent feel a bit better

It's never too late, sweetie. I'm so sorry you are hurting. I told a story about how my H's boss and his wife divorced. He recently moved home with her.

Are you doing Plan B? I really think it is the best hope in your situation. Do the best Plan B you can muster. You'll find it's good for you and it tastes good too, regardless of the outcome.

You're allowed to be sad but don't let the sadness take over your life.

If you can't find a good PLAN B thread, (it took me a while to find one, but I didn't need it in the end) post and someone of these wonderful MBers will help.

Good stories are what kept me going when my baby was stealing our kids college money to give to OM as she screwed him in a cheap motel.

Now the affair is SO dead, our chalange is building a better marrige than EVER ! Squid fidelity, regret and commitment not slightly in doubt !

Choose to be motovated by the success stories, Joanna. I am and it works when I have bad days now !

All blessings

Yeah for a while i was inspired by good stories but the crap still awful. I am in plan B and haven't heard a peep out of him all week before that I would not answer his calls. He got a brief peek at me when I was at the funeral home for viewing. I jusy get so made at him and i really don't think he gets it or even understands what I am trying to do.
The wicked witch is his comforter and he doesn't need anyone but her. It is better when I don't here from him but then I worry about him. I know he is headed for a crash but don't know if he will realise that I still am still here for him. I feel as if he has forgotten all we where together instead only lived for what he has with OW.

vent away

you can let loose guilt-free

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

I'll write you a note.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

"Please excuse Joanna. She was not feeling well yesterday and had to stay home to fight off an ugly bout of angry words and venomous revenge fantasies. She is resting nicely now. Her fever is slowly going down too. She might return to her usual serenity tomorrow or perhaps the day after. Please don't worry, she is not contageous."

Joanna,
I can totaly relate to what you wrote.
I too feel in a hopeless place, My WW lept into her A, she Is bound and determined for a D, and I feel I'm on a roller coaster. When she talks to me It's always in a mean and bitter way. I have to speak to her on a daily basis, as we share custody of our son, plus other things.
Meanwhile she goes around telling everyone how great OM is. They live together now. She Is sooo happy, I feel like my heart has been ripped out and then stomped on.
I wish there was hope, but for me, my wife that I loved supported and would have done anything for DIED when she decided to crawl into OM truck for fun and giggles, I don't see her comming back from the dead

Thanks for the note maybe the next time I unload it will get me off the hook. there are times when my ugly fantasy's get the best of me and I wish bad stuff on WH and OW. The funny thing is even after 4 months of this garbage if my H showed up and was truly sorry and wanted to work things out I could but as long as he remains the Wh we never can. He will end up crashing and noone least of all OW will bail him out. I just figure he is in a pattern and is to stupid to get out of it.

Why do they think that the ow will stick around when things get really bad. I know she won't be there if he looses his job or goes to jail for lack of child support. But ya know she is a ww anyway. she trashed her marriage and dragged her kids into this mess with mine with out a second though. Boy if I wasn't such a peaceful person I would take a pound of flesh of her big Butt. It makes me sick to think about those 2 carring on I just want to punch both of then in the face toss my husband in the car and tie him up in the basement until he gets him self right. Anyone else want to do that.