Quick rundown of my 40th birthday weekend (Oct 15th-17th)--the bday I was dreading: Packed suitcase for quick leaf-viewing roadtrip to Wisconsin. Kenneled dogs. Had mother come to babysit house and be around should DD decide to hang around home. Drove to awesome guy's place Friday night. Slept well. Got up bright and early and all excited Saturday. Packing things out to BF's car, camera in left hand, coffee in right, proceeded to tumble over concrete bumper in parking lot and fall very, VERY hard on concrete directly in front of horrified BF. Seriously bruised left knee, fractured right wrist, and all pride and dignity went out the window. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />
However, being the trooper that I am, after he got me back in his apartment and I sat down and we gave him a chance to quit shaking from the shock, we iced my wrist (which I didn't know until two days later was fractured, when I finally decided to go to the dr.), I downed Advil and Excedrin all weekend, and we had us a fun weekend anyway, interspersed with a few shrieks and a couple not-so-nice words when I twisted the wrist or bumped the knee.
So, as for Mr. Awesome Guy (name still fits), we've had several semi-tense moments mostly related to issues with my daughter, but we've weathered them for the moment and are still going strong. We've been seeing each other for over 3 months now, and corresponding for almost 4. We're still very new in terms of a relationship, but we've both mentioned many times how it feels like we've known each other for a lot longer than that. Overall, we are very comfortable with each other. And I've been around his parents and his kids ever other weekend almost since the beginning, so I'm getting to know them well.
I have found a few flaws in him over the months (he's just awful darned PICKY when it comes to food and he may be yet more stubborn than I am when it comes to not wanting to change his ways about certain things), but really, I'm still very happy with him. He's loosened up a lot as we've gotten to know each other and I'm finding that while he's lead a pretty sheltered life compared to mine in some respects, he has an mischievous streak a mile wide, he's very quick-witted, and he definitely keeps me on my toes.
So...future?? I'm hopeful, but after uttering--sort of--the "L" word a few times, I had this feeling that I was going to jynx everything, so I quit uttering. I do still sign some of my emails "Love, LL" but that's about it. And he's sort of fallen into the same pattern. I think we're both still afraid to believe that this is as good as it is.
But we're tentatively planning a short trip to Las Vegas over spring break in March. I mentioned never having been there as an adult and he suggested perhaps we go then since he won't be teaching. And then a couple times he's brought up questions that have to do with if he takes me to a beach someday. So apparently he does think "future" at least to an extent. I'm afraid to let my guard down and be too hopeful, but I admit that once in a while the "what if this would become permanent" thought crosses my mind.
He did have what for him was a very embarassing moment last Saturday night. I took it very well which lightened his mood. It was late, and he and his son and I were watching a scary movie on the couch, and everyone was getting a little bleary-eyed and tired. His son was being a little hyper and he turned to him and said, "Be quiet so Michelle can watch the movie." I am NOT Michelle! Michelle was his ex-girlfriend, the L/T one he was with for 2 years who burned him so bad. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> His son immediately said, "DAD! She's not Michelle!" and then turned to me and said, "LL, you're a lot nicer than she was." And poor Awesome Guy sat there silent for a minute as I laughed, and then mumbled under his breath, "I can't believe I just did that..." I always wondered how I'd react if it happened, but in actuality it was a lot harder on him than it was on me.
Sometimes I wish I could know what the future holds for the two of us. It's hard doing the L/D thing because like last week, due to schedule conflicts we couldn't see each other for almost 6 days. We can't just get together on a spur of the moment if it's mid-evening and we decide we're bored or are missing each other too much. It's a 115-mile one-way drive. And winter is on it's way, and in Iowa they can be rather brutal, with snow and ice and frigid temps and very treacherous driving. That will be an added challenge.
But on the plus side, being forced to communicate via email and by phone many days per week has given us lots of time to discuss lots of things. I found out that when I have my little hypochondriac anxiety attacks and think I'm dying of something, or when I obcess over things for no good reason, he clams up immediately and refuses to talk about it--says he refuses to play into my fears. It made me sort of angry at first, because I needed to talk and he wouldn't, but after I thought about it, I realize he has healthy boundaries and chooses not to get sucked into things, and that he wasn't saying he wouldn't talk to me, but just that he wouldn't talk about what it was that had me all afraid unless there was proof that I need to be worried about it.
So far, so good. Good enough that I've not had time to do much more than occasional reading on this board lately to see what you all are up to. And a whole lot better than two years ago when I'd just found out for certain that my then-husband was seeing the OW and I thought I would die if I lost him.
Two years can change a lot of things.
LL
