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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 138
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 138
WH has not filed for D. He still doesn't know what he wants. He couldn't afford it anyway.

Also in Texas you must live in the county you file in for at least 90 days. He is living in another county with ow in low income housing. If he files in that county he will be caught scamming the state because he will have to use her address.

I have already reported to the state that he is living there and they are investigating it. He also knows that I have done this. I figure he has to suffer the consequences.

He has turned into exactly what he has hated all these years. People who scam the state.

All I am doing now is laying low and letting this play out. Any other suggestions will be appreciated.


BS 48 me WH 45 married 23 years DDay JULY 2005 WH moved out Sept 2005 and moved in w/ow a month later DD 28 DS 21
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 138
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Can anyone tell me if this is normal. Since WH left in Sept he has been in contact with at least his son or daughter. He has not contacted anyone in almost a month. This is the longest he has stayed away. Do you think that he has taken us completely out of his life and there is not chance for our marriage?

I know he was checking on prices for D but hasn't filed and says that he doesn't know what he wants. My C said that the ow probably put pressure on him to check on the prices.
She also said that I should just let him wallow in his own muck and hopefully he will get the help that he needs.

I still haven't called him. The last time I talked to him he blamed me for him not being able to see his mom before she passed away, for him loosing his job and all the financial problems he is having. Maybe things are as good as he makes us think they are in hoho land.


BS 48 me WH 45 married 23 years DDay JULY 2005 WH moved out Sept 2005 and moved in w/ow a month later DD 28 DS 21
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 138
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 138
Something has happened to me...I have taken back my life. I don't know what happened or when but I feel like I can make it no matter what happens. WH and I have had limited contact since Oct.(42 hours) He is so much in fogland. He gave up his apartment (he never lived there) and is still living with the ow in section 8 housing. I don't care. I still love him and miss him but the choice has to be his. I don't wake up or go to sleep with him on my mind much anymore. I pray for strength.

I feel like I have taken control. He will do what he wants and I can't control him. He told me to file my taxes on my own, so I did and now he is angry that I did. I will get a refund and he will have to pay. Before I would have felt guilty about this but you know what I don't because I did it because it benefitted our family.

I can finally laugh, sing (although not to well)and do things I once did without all the drama. It feels good for a change.

Wh knows what he has to do to come home, the move is on him and if he makes that choice I will so happy because I still love him and want to make my marriage work. I feel like I am healing finally.

I hope this makes sense and I am not rambling but I FEEL GOOD FOR A CHANGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


BS 48 me WH 45 married 23 years DDay JULY 2005 WH moved out Sept 2005 and moved in w/ow a month later DD 28 DS 21
Joined: Jul 2005
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World,

It makes perfect sense to me because I am in the same spot as you... Exact same feelings. I love him and want my marriage but its all on him....

Life goes on and for us its good because we have nothing to hide or be ashamed of.

Glad your feeling so good , its a wonderful thing to feel after so many months of heartache and pain....


Hurting


BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 138
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 138
Hurting
I have been following your thread and watching the remarkable changes in you.

You are right we have nothing to be ashamed of or to hide. I am just taking care of myself and my family and that is what is important to me. To bad he is missing out!!!!

World


BS 48 me WH 45 married 23 years DDay JULY 2005 WH moved out Sept 2005 and moved in w/ow a month later DD 28 DS 21
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