My husband has been unfaithful twice in the past 7 years. We've successfully completed marriage counseling twice and been released. However, recently my husband was deployed overseas with the US Navy Reserves. While stationed in Iraq, he had an affair with an Air Force nurse, he says cause he was lonely and sexually unfulfilled.

Given the situation, there was nothing I could do to prevent him from feeling this way. I sent packages, letters, cards, and even risque pictures of myself to him to try to help him remain faithful (at his request). We also talked on the phone several times a week and chatted on the computer quite a bit and nothing helped him feel needed, less sexually frustrated, or close to me.

Do you have any different advice for military families who are dealing with infidelity under such extenuating circumstances? Apparently affairs run rampant over in Iraq between the branches that are not seeing daily combat (which is more than people realize) and in co-ed units.

Any information or help you can offer is GREATLY appreciated! Thank you and God Bless!

rstewart776
I have nothing to offer but a big hug and some empathy. It sounds like you were doing all you could. My H also used his Navy Reserve time to continue his A with ease since I couldn't be there. And she could. A's are rampant in the military whether deployed or not, we are overseas and I see it everyday with so many who almost never get deployed. You have found a safe place to cry and vent and ask questions.

God bless,
Summer

Hello and Welcome to MB, you have found a great place! There are alot of military spouses who have been through this kind of thing. You might want to try and post this on GQ 2 there is alot more traffic there and alot more of the vets post over there too. My FWH is also in the service but we are army. You said that you two have already completed MC and everything, i wish there was something i could tell you to do. Read everything on this site there is alot of great and useful information. I dont know if you would want to speak with his commanders (dunno if navy has that) or his chain in command maybe they could help you out. Do they know? I dont know how high ranking your H is but the navy could help you out but you probably dont want to get your H in trouble.
I do agree that there alot of things going on overseas that nobody knows about and its sad to say their spouses will never find out. I wish you all the luck and post of GQ2 there is alot more traffic there. Take care and GOod luck

I thought I would chime in. But instead of repeating what I typed for a soldier on the "Recovery" board, I am just going to suggest you pop over there and read Firedawg's thread. It might help.

In His arms.

WOW it must be crazy to read your message because I just experienced the same thing.. He is being deployed to Iraq and he wont be back for 15 months or so. my husband is in the army and I am wondering what have you done to put an end to this. Did you call his commander? Did he tell you if he loves that woman or was it just sexual.

My husband was unfaithful to me and he was actualy being pressured by the other woman to file for divorce but she was not expecting him to come home to tell me. Good thing he did. I did not know what action to take but after posting my delema I was encouraged by several ex military soldiers who know the law regarding adultery to expose his unfaithfulnes to his commander.

have you talked to anybody about that? I called the family awareness program for my county and the moment I mention that my husband was having an affair with anothr woman in the military they reported it to his commander and they have been seperated. They were both in the same unit and now they are not. The commander ordered them to stop what ever was going on between them and has them on a constant watch. If they contact each other again or mingle with anyone else they will have to face the concequences. THe military does not tolorate adultery and will not allow any soldier to destroy a family specialy not during a deployment.

My husband to was messaging me every day and I thought everything was ok until he came home for 5 days that is when he told me what was going on. Today actualy, I got a call from him telling me about how there is nothing going on and that he wants to save our marriage, that he was stupid for putting himself in such situation.

I am comfident that if you reach out you will to find help and he will have no other choice but to follow the orders given to him by his commander. Adultery is not tolerated and you should not keep it a secret. Trust me it worked for me it can help you to.

My husband is very weak when it comes to the opposit sex and he tells me is very hard to be faithful when you are amongst all those other women who are available and willing. But if you expose it to his higher chain of command it will stop and he will have to refrain from messing around and putting you thru ******.

I know exactly what you are going thru. I wish you the best but open up and talk to someone in the navy or find out who to contact in your support group.