It happened. He crashed and hit rock bottom.

I received a phone call about fifteen min ago from FV who relay'd message that darth was going to be unable to get my son (darth called her saying he needed to speak w/me)in the morning at the hotel before school...

because he was calling from the back of a paramedic van and was on his way to g.hospital, a large inner city hospital. And was under arrest most likely for getting into it with a police officer. I do not nor am I aware if alcohol or any other issue was the culprit. supposedly he had attended a holiday party...and something got out of hand. FV was not with him although she had wanted to go to that party herself.

FV got it from me tonight. I was awoken to hear this tonight as my ds sleeps away. heres what I told the woman.
for three years I have witnessed thsi slow train wreck and I am sick of my ds being around to witness it. she claims darth has been cheating again. I told her what is new? there is nothing new. She then goes on to say that she loves darth, and according to her attorney she is not to talk to him, that they've been separated for a week now. she is imho, also partying and carrying on as she was going to this party also...I told her I believed her character quite poor as this train wreck involves the both of them...
I tell her my ds is not going to be allowed around any of them. too unstable right now.

I told her I am to be given a full report as she called ME and told me on her own of my xh's behavior and his supposed arrest...

I asked her what is possibly normal about their lives? what is decent? what is good? what is redeemable at this point?

she said "well I did love him."

I asked her if ripping my ds and his family apart justified her affair with my former H. I asked when is enough e nough for all of you crazy people? I say that my ds is going to be shielded from the instability of two people, two very immoral people who by virtue of sperm and egg and sex became parents...that maybe should rethink their positions on that. I said tht my position was clear as a mom...

that there was far too much instability in their lives...and that my ds does NOT deserve to be around them while this sham of a so called marriage disentegrates before his little eyes.

I asked her "what is my son to do in say twenty years when he wants to get married? who will his male role model be and how will he perceive how to treat a woman? these are the things that keep me up at night FV" I say.

I have had it with XWH and OW/W.

But I believe xh has crashed and burned. That his time to hit rock bottom is now. And again, two years too late for it to have saved this family...

But faith can save my part of this family as I am damn committed to protect my son...to raise him well, love him with all my heart, and do all in my power to be the positive role model for him.

I am so thankful I can come here and pour out my tears right now.

I am angry beyond belief at these two idiots.

It makes me sick that these two wacked out individuals are even allowed to have children near them. and she called herself a good mom? and to think of the craziness my xh put me thru last week, the rages?

I am going to try to go to bed again...I am taking ds to before school care. Luckily I put him down to zzzz a lot earlier tonight.

This is what happens when a WS is enabled....basically by everyone else in their lives BUT ME...they are enabled by parents, the OW (or OP) and their friends...they continue down the path of destruction until WHAM...they collide with life.

I don't know if he was involved in a wreck, or a fight (as per FV) with a police officer, if he was arrested for driving under influence, if this so called holiday party was raided by police...I know nothing.

I do know that there was a man...once a good and decent man...a cfo of a company...once a man who was the home run king for his church baseball league...is in the back of an ambulance headed to a hospital in handcuffs. and still to this day remains by virtue of morality, a WS.

WS here learn your lesson from this. BS print this off for your WS.

Can somebody please learn something from this? Do NOT let a WS become enabled at all. Please do not enable the wayward.

I am utterly sickened...Angry and sad at same time. Thank God my ds is with me. I am so blessed my Creator allowed this to happen while my ds is with me. And if this is His way of helping sort out the custody issue, then so be it. Please pray for me, for ds, for the poor children brought into this tangled web by FV and darth, and pray for darth...a man outta control. He is not my responsibility anymore...but he is the biological father of my child.

By God's grace I was set free from this...please pray for me and for clarity of mind right now as I may have to pursue legally another area. I was not prepared to do any of this during the holiday season...I so wanted life to be easy for ds and I right now...

I just want to fall asleep for 4 more hours before I have to get up to think again.

{{{{{{{{{Peach}}}}}}}}}}

Alph.

Dear Peach,

In your whole post, I don't see any shock. How could there be? As you pointed out their whole life is unstable and you are choosing to remove yourself and your son from this mess.

I am glad to hear that. Maybe now the law w/b on your side.

{{{hugz 2 u and your son}}}

L.

Sorry to hear you have got this chaos to deal with. Your WS life is spinning out of control, and you have seen this coming for sometime, it has been a matter of when. Now it is here and you are doing the best thing you can, protecting your DS, he doesn't need to be part of this.

Take care

I'm not surprised to hear abt what's happening at all.. even though I feel great sadness for the innocent OC and your DS who has to bear the repercussions of the behaviour of the waywards.

My WS is being enabled by his colleagues, friends, his fellow investors, probably OW's parents and even his family. yes, MIL phoned him up to scold him but did she DARE to come see him personally and talk sense into his head. No. She avoided him. So did his brother.

They are cowards.

Like yours, my WS and OW know that they have destroyed a family and the security of my home but do they still feel justified in continuing their A??
YES.

I don't know if my WS will ever drop rock bottom. His stubborn pride carries him till this very day.

justpeachy -- continue to keep away from the chaos. And keep DS away from it too. There's nothing we can do about them.. they have to figure it out themselves.

~A

(((((justpeachy)))))

YOU have it "Together!"

God bless.

Justpeachy:

"Can somebody please learn something from this? Do NOT let a WS become enabled at all. Please do not enable the wayward."

That is certainly the lesson some of us (like me) have learned the hard way. It will be good if some of us "old hands" can get this very important message to the newbies here before they go through what we've gone through.

Seems to me, the sooner we (BS's) put our foot down and say "enough!", the better the chances of recovery.

Good job keeping the high ground....

Georgia

I will be thinking of you and your Ds all day today. {{{{hugs}]}}}} to both of you. Yes it is best to remove Ds from all of this confusion.

Puhleeeeeease spare me! Yeah, and he loved you too honey. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> Isn't that beautiful? It is not love. It is nothing more that two self serving, selfish, egotistical people stroking themselves. She is nothing more than a two bit hooker. What goes around comes around.

Peach, this may have been mentioned as I am not up to date on your thread, but it sounds like your ex is a sex addict with some serious issues. Beware of the temptation to rescue him. He needs to do that himself, after he hits rock bottom.

Peach,

Oh dear!!! I don't know what to say, except the story will probably be different today. FV is in crisis and desperate now. She could be saying anything!


Hoping the best for you and DS.

{{{{Peachy and son}}}}

Peachy - I was wondering about you the other day - Just be thankful that he isn't your responsibility .... and don't get sucked into their drama... there is no need - just protect your son - and keep him away until things have settled down - and that they are proven to be calm... Dont wonder - the why's - the what ifs - who cares... just take care of you and your son....

((((hugs peachy)))))

Thanking God that your ds was with you when it all hit the fan.

Praying for you and your ds, plus those innocent children of ws and fv. You have such a wonderful heart to care for those kids.

God Bless you sweetie, you are doing the right thing.

Love in Christ,
Miss M

JP,

Just the other day a poster was questioning your fixation, for lack of a better word, on Darth and FV and interpreting your posts as continued feelings for Darth. I disageee as you did. I believe you know the marriage and your husband are gone...that there is way too much water under the bridge and that recovery is hopeless.

On the contrary, I believe, perhaps, it is the end of Darth and FV that will finally give you the closure you may be unknowingly (or maybe ashamefully knowingly) seeking. After all, MB promised that what is occurring in their lives currently WOULD HAPPEN. It may not be satisfying on the surface but deep down to see both Darth and FV hit rock bottom has to feel good. I think it is basic human nature for you to get a sense of satisfaction to see both your victimizers suffer the consequences for their poor choices.

Did you need this for your own recovery??? I think not...but will it provide you closure...perhaps. Maybe these next few weeks will provide the ending to your book and though you will have Darth in your life forever as the father of your DS...I believe deep down the end of his illicit love affair could provide the final impetus to your COMPLETE personal recovery. After all a book about affairs can only be a tragedy and your tremendous personal recovery was done or is being done in spite of the affair.

Just a thought.

Mr. Wondering

((((peach))))
you and your son are in my prayers.
I even said a little one for XWH (for your ds' sake)

the WS and OW spin..

yea, it is happening yet again...

I am told today by OW/W that "it was all a misunderstanding by the fulton co police...the whole thing..not really bad for darth..not like it seems"...she phoned me, was snippy w/me, and then I told her that I was sick of her crap. She said she would not disclose any info to me as it was between her attorney and herself...whatever idiot! She sad darth could tell me what happened...

then darth of course phoned me and said it was of course a big whole mix up...and that his W is so nice to me all the time...

what planet do I friggin' live on I ask you? Better yet, what planet DO THEY RESIDE ON?

Oh wait...it's the mothership...not a planet...the darn mothership!

I said to Xh, Darth Yea I sure understand...the fulton county police department always harasses motorists and cuffs them by accident and then also by accident throwing them into the backs of ambulances and against their wills taking them to grady hospital....happens at myt hospital all the time...(rolling eyes)...

I think darth knows I let attorney know. after Christmas, am going to pay a little money to get some pi work done to find out his real charges to add to my case I am building as I write now.

It is sickening when a mistress totally enables a man...or a man enables his mistress...they should reconcile...they are evil and perfect for each other.

thanks for your kind words and prayers.

if only FV had real love for him..she would allow the bottom to be truly reached...truth is she can't let him totally hit it b/c her meal ticket would be over.

Peachy,
I am sorry to hear of the drama going on with your XH. They are seemingly unaware of the way it effects the children. *hugs* Luckily your son has one stable and loving parent.

Danielle

It is even MORE sickening when a Betrayed Spouse "enables" a Wayward Spouse....that is the greatest trajedy of all.

Peach, for the record, I still believe that you are still too "intuned" and affected by all of this BullShytt drama...you still let it affect you in ways that are harmful to you.

I will back off from my stance that you have "feelings" for the XWH...I think you don't "love" him anymore, at least in a way that a Wife should love her husband, but it is my opinion that you are still surely addicted to the "drama" of all of this, even if you don't quite see it that way.

NOONE can write the things you write about with respect to your WH and FV, with all of the "passion" and "zeal" if they don't truly care, if they are truly "over it".

They just "can't"....and yes I do agree that you are a talented writer and no doubt belive that you could parlay that into "somthing"..but still.

I think you'll get there soon enough...I know you will. It is hard, because given your DS, you can never truly be "disattached" or completely "uninvolved" with the Wayward. You'll just have to learn to truly "let it go", and perhaps this will help you speed up that process.

I will also add that I think the word "closure" is a highly OVERRRATED concept used here. I tend to see it as more of an "excuse" for people NOT being able to DO what they NEED to do in life. A way for them to "delay" accepting what they MUST do. That's just my opiniion, and I am sure there are many who disagree. So be it. I will leave it at that.

Goodluck,

Your friend,

LM <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Good to see you posting Dani! Many prayers still being sent your way btw!

Ds and I are having a good night...really cold here. We are getting ready to put him to zzzzzz...after a warm bath. And some studying of spelling words have been done. Typical night in our home...quiet, peace, loving. Way it should be!

My xh is stil living in a hotel. FV has a lawyer, but imho, is threatening God knows what so she can force darth into staying...that is what I believe. And yes, Mr. Wonderings, last night speaking to FV late at night, when I got the chance to tell her I was sick and damned tired of watching this slow three year train wreck happen was helpful for me. It allowed me to say all I need to say...including that I am not going to allow ds around it. I told her what I thought of her affair marriage...how deluded she was, how deluded he was...I got all of it off my chest.

It does hurt. The lack of universal anything. Still hopefully will make sense though. At least the ability to finally say what has been inside, since I have been so distant...helped release some of this angst that's been pent up for three years.

DS is so happy tonight. He said rather fearful which I now question, "do I have to see Dad in the morning? Is he taking me to school?" I said no dear. DS relaxed, livened back up, and smiled and sat by the fireplace with me. We are getting ready for bed now...and he's having warm cookies (slice and bake ok?) and milk. We are great. Together we're great always. My little family of two is all I need.

Thank God your son has one strong and healthy parent to love him. Hang tough.