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You're gonna like this one - or perhaps someone will agree! Either way - I got the news yesterday and was PO-ed, yet today find it amusing and/or perhaps a little sick.
I got a call (yesterday) from a long time friend of mine who's wife is best friends with the wife of my WXW's MBF (married boy friend). [Got all that?] Note: For those who don't know, we were all friends until A was discovered.
Anyway - WXW's MBF filed for D on 7-22-05. In my state, an uncontested D will be finalized in 21 days.
Back to the call: My friend tells me that MBF's wife mostly blames me for their impending D and also for their A. (I was the last one to find out about A. MBF has had 2 previous A's [that I know of] yet none resulted in D. And MBF's wife knew about the A with WXW more than a month before I did - yet didn't tell me. And they were still coming to our house for dinner/movies/playing with our kids, etc.!) My friend also says that MBF's wife also placed some blame on him for A & D. [HUH?] Evidently, she feels that I should have known about the A earler than I did - and that once I found out about it; I should've talked to her H and my W and convinced them to end the A.
Now - can someone please explain this to me? Initially I was mad. Then I figured that MBF's wife has issues (multiple A's by H, she always stayed with WH, took him back, etc.) and I should just chalk it up to some sort of dyslexic-FOG or something of the like. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />
Perhaps there is simply no explanation for this and I just needed to vent a little; or maybe one of you have heard of this.
Thanks.
FR
You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face. Challenges can be stepping stones or stumbling blocks. It’s just a matter of how you look at them. The purpose of life is to live it, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience
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[color:"blue"]Maybe she figured that if you had convinced XWW to end the affair her husband would have come crawling back to her?
V. [/color]
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FR, YOU ARE responsible! How could you not tell her/him? Man, you have some major responsibility here! How could you strip those two naked, shove them into bed, and cause all of this! And your friend too! I think you need some counseling! Hee hee! J/K!!! That's some messed up crap and a person blaming everyone but the person they should be, oh, and not taking a look at themselves! NUTSO!!!! Thank goodness you are out of THAT web! Don't let them trap you back into it! Laugh, know someone there is crazy, well, maybe several someone's but it ain't you!!!
"As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same"- Nelson Mandella
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Chalk it up to being wacked out of her mind and stay the heck away from all of them.
Me, 43 DS18, DD12 Divorce final May 10, 2007
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OY! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />
DW--BW....separated/divorced since 2003 Re-married 7/09!
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Drita:
I agree! Maybe I can win back XW now since I'm all responsible and going to counseling and know that the whole deal was my fault. I think I'd rather French-Kiss a rattlesnake! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
V: There's no telling what any of these people are "thinking".
Thanks Girls for replying - and setting me straight!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
FR
You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face. Challenges can be stepping stones or stumbling blocks. It’s just a matter of how you look at them. The purpose of life is to live it, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience
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You were already straight and you know it! (well, except today with the keg thing!)
"As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same"- Nelson Mandella
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So, he filed in July, and this is just now coming out?? Or just now hearing about it?
I'm sure she needs to shift the blame elsewhere. She is in denial it seems. I don't know why she is blaming you, other than what you have stated. Crazy to me. I always blamed the OW, but now realize X was just as much to blame. I see OW's X occasionally, have never spoke to him though, don't really care to either. Do I hold him accountable for the affair?? Not at all.
You, were a little too close to the situation, and AS IF this guy would have listened to you anyway. Your wife didn't, why would he?
She clearly wants to blame someone. I think it's crazy, but these situations are.
Amazing! People are amazing!
Karona!
Divorced 12/17/2003
Formerly KEB1205 Reg 9/02
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Never heard that one before. You have to work hard to place the blame that far away.
Divorced. 2 Girls Remarried 10/11/08 Widowed 11/5/08 Remarrying 12/17/15
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Just another guy exploring middle age.
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I'm one to care what people think of me. It would bother me to have the other spouse accuse me for their break-up when my marriage also broke up due to the affair. Knowing that I tried to save my marriage, and have someone say this would hurt.
Hopefully after some time, I would realize that this person is looking to displace blame to make themself feel better, and then I could say, who cares.
K!
Divorced 12/17/2003
Formerly KEB1205 Reg 9/02
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