Okay, this is a kinda weird question, but would like to know if I am overreacting here....want to ask SH but don't want to wait that long. My FWH and I(9 months into recovery) were at a Christmas party tonight at his sisters home. There were about 40ish people there. They had yard decor in the front yard and my husband proceeded to make the light-up deer "ride" each other. Well, the guys were cracking up.....I wasn't too amused. He is always the joker and this one just hit me wrong. I feel that in light of his reputation right now ( maybe a dozen or so of the people know about his A) that this was in poor taste and he was certainly not the one that needed to pull this "funny". He feels I am severely overreacting and that I am carrying this just too far now.
What do you all think? I feel that maybe in a year from now it would be acceptable, but it is just too darn soon to be making jokes of a sexual nature, even if it is just some wire deer.
So am I overreacting here?

P.S. I should add that H has been flawless all through recovery,not a jerk at all and wanting to do whatever I need to recover...just want to add that for perspective..

I think you may be overreacting. 9 mos of good behavior, he is at a party having fun with the guys. As a BS, I have to stop and think about what is good or bad behavior. but I don't want my spouse to be in a constant state of being worried about what I feel is right or wrong. Especially when it is something that doesn't really involve me. Maybe he was just having fun!

It is hard to not read stuff into everything.

just my 2 cents.

You are always entitled to your own feelings....just as your FWH is. (Yours that PUBLIC jokes of a sexual nature embarrass you in light of the A....and his that it was just a joke and he likes to make people laugh).

Sounds like some sort of POJA moment.

Sometimes it helps to recognize for yourself if this incident represent something bigger to you (reoccurring similar or related incidents)?

Thank you both,,,,,both points worth pondering.

Please recognize that this was a trigger and is something you need to deal with and not something he is doing wrong. He can't be blamed for not knowing this was a trigger with you and it is completely unreasonable to expect such a thing.

Melody,

Thank you for the imput. I think that in a year from now I would have no problem with the deer doing the nasty, but it somehow just seemed like something that someone just coming out of heavy sexual immorality wouldn't want to touch. You know, don't even do anything that has the appearance of evil...not that it was EVIL per se, just sexual in nature. I don't know......I didn't get all mad or anything, just questioned the judgement of doing it.

Just wanted to add that it gives me hope to read your signature, "happily recovered"....how long was it before you could say that, Melody

Anybody else? Do I need the proverbial 2x4?