While following a gut feeling yesterday, I searched my hard drive for "getmsg"and discovered that my H has a Hotmail account he has been using for online affairs. He finally admitted to having email/online affairs for the last 4 years, some kissing and fooling around with clients and on trips. He still maintains that he has only ever slept with one of them. He says he has never loved any of them, just the rush that it brings, to know that he is still desirable even if he is married with 3 kids. You know, I just don't feel anything today. That's almost scarier than the original D-Day devastation.

Summer

That all depends on the person.

Let us know a little more about your sitch. How long you've been married? Children? How many affairs?

There are many people on this forum that have been through similar sitch's. They can give you great insight.

Give us some more detail and keep posting. We'll do are best to guide you through.

Stay strong.

From this link, an excerpt:

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5062_qa.html

If, on the other hand, either husband were to have another affair, the association would be much harder to extinguish. In fact, when a couple goes through a recovery after an affair, and then experience another affair, the resentment is often more intense and more persistent after the second recovery. With multiple affairs and recoveries, resentment is almost impossible to overcome. But then, in those cases I usually feel that the emotional reaction of resentment is not irrational at all. Emotions are telling the person that it's not a good idea to continue the relationship, and I would agree.
- Dr. Harley

This is what you are feeling, the crushing shock of it happening AGAIN. Relapses and 2nd, 3rd, etc D-days SUCK. There is no getting around that. It is normal for you to feel numb. It doesn't surprise me that it feels worse to you than the original D-Day.

Is he dismissive about what he is doing? Remorseful? Justifying it? What is he willing to do? Does he think it's okay, or not cheating?

MSA

He's not justifying,, and I guess with the info coming to light only 5/6 months after D-Day 1 I'm just crushed. He made me out as a bad person to these OW. It just makes me so sad, and angry. He has started counseling to find out if he has SA or some other problem. He does admit to having lied before we got married about being a Christian. He is also seeing the Chaplain a lot now too. We've been married for 14 years and this started 4 years ago. Midlife crisis? If so, it should be over by now!!!!! Crap, we get a perm and some new makeup, not lots of online affairs!

What does this do? Is it something for the snoop file?

This is SOOOOO common. I actually spoke with No. 1 A and she told me all the horrible things he said about me. It is garden-variety WH-talk. Read everything you can on this site and then get to work. YOU are in control of your own destiny, with or without him.

Stungalong...searching for getmsg in all files and folders, hidden ones as well can retrieve old email messages. Email disappears pretty quick though as more info is processed on the computer.