Just wanted to do an update ...
CS was established a couple of weeks ago ... He has been seeing OC with DD on malls and public places ...

OW and xH went to court last week for visitation.
(I was not there, did not want to be there either ...)

I've told him, no matter what she said you keep quiet and let your attorney do the talk ...
He did ... she didn't ...
OW told the judge (a female judge) a lot of things!
Probably thinking she was going to get the judge on her side ...
it didn't happened!
Among other things the judge told her that first she should consider herself lucky .. it is usually the mothers seeking visitation for reluctant fathers ...
He was asking for visitation ... and he had the rights ...
OW said that she didn't want OC around me!!!!!
what's wrong with her?!?!?!

At first I got mad ... how dare she mentioned me?!?!?
But then I calmed down ... this is not about me ... this is about her still trying to control everything ...
She said that she didn't know me and she didn't trust me ....
whatever! The little compassion and consideration I had for her (as a mother) is gone ...

OW said that I lived in a 'bad' neighborhood ... not true and quite the contrary ...
She also said that xH abandoned OC a lot of times ...
Attorney explained that they lived together for a while and then they broke up ... and OW didn't want him to see OC ...
She then said that the address that he had in the papers was my address and not his address ...
xH said to the judge that he was going to move back with me in Feb ...
Judge told them that she didn't care who lived with whom or who was going to live with whom ... that he had parental rights and that while OC was with him, he didn't need OW's approval of what to do or go with OC during his time with OC...
OW also said that she didn't wanted DD to spend time with OC!

Judge asked how old was DD and how old was OC ...
xH said that the judge gave her a 'look' like 'I-know-who-is-the-troublemaker-here' ...
Judge said that DD, as sibling had also rights to spend time with OC if that's what we wanted ...
The judge also said because OC was still too young that for now not overnight visits would happen ...

We were scared that he would get a judge that what was not going to be fair to him ...
but we are really glad for the judge he got!

I finally got to see OC after four months ...
xH brought him to my work ....
This morning one of the ladies that saw him last week said 'Your boy is very cute and looks a lot like you!" ...
I just smiled ... justice has been served <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Oh Mily that is brilliant!

every now and again the good guys win one. Congratulations!
Justice was served indeed!

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Congratulations Mily!!

That's wonderful news!

Thanks!

It's been almost two years since I confronted xH about A ... and somedays I still feel it was yesterday.
But we've come a long way from where we were two years ago.
Finally, I'm starting to feel that things are falling in their places ... the good places <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Congrats Mily!!!

Congrats to you and your family.

Love that last bit! It feels great.

Best wishes,
J

Yes, justice has. Congrats Mily.

Thanks for filling us in. Your situation gives me hope that if we choose to go the legal route, we will be successful with all the same issues. Congrats!

Hey Mily,

Congrats to u & exH!!!!!

I hope your Christmas was wonderful & u receive the desires of your heart in 2006!

Hang in there girl & keep fighting the good fight.

HE will make your enemies your footstool! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Love u,
"B"

Thanks everyone!
As everyone says - legal is the best route to go ...
in our case it took longer because he wanted to handle things his way - he didn't want to 'upset' OW <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

{B hugs to you}

Talking about Christmas - I just got proof that the 'alien's theory' it's true.
xH gave me a very cute Christmas card - with ILYs and everything!
Then he said - I can't remember what I was doing on Xmas last year ...
You're kidding right?
No, I swear, where was I?

You were not here ... you spent Xmas eve and Xmas day with OW and OC ... don't you remember?
Then I explained to him the alien's theory ...
He said - that must be it because I don't remember ... I'm sorry ...

wow! amazing! ... I couldn't believe he didn't remember ... because its days like these that are triggers and I still remember the pain and the loneliness ...

May the next years to come be better than these last ones for everyone!

WTH is it that they don't remember? There are things that are triggers for me as well the H doesn't remember.

I was shopping the other day and came across a movie that OW had given to H for Valentine's day. I mentioned to him that it was a trigger and he said, I don't even remember that movie and I know I didn't watch it. He didn't watch it because he had given it back to OW and told him he didn't want it unless she watched it w/ him!

mily,

i would love to here more of your story. i read on another post that ow went after cs then your h went after v costing u 750. i would love to here how u did it all. how it all went. do u have it down on this forum that i could go back and read your posts. let me know.
congradulations by the way, it looks like your life is getting better. it shows getting d doesnt always mean forever.

wife,
I'm still amazed that he doesn't remember things like that <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> - no that I want to keep dragging on the pain and the past ... but somehow I feel he minimizes my pain because he doesn't 'remember' ...

imtswife,
all my story is here in this board ... all of it ... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />
all the ups and downs ...
how to do it?
It's been a long process ...
what has helped me?
This board - all the amazing ladies (and gentlemen) here,
my IC - that I had for one year after xH left,
my love for my DD,
and my faith in God ...
which was the first thing that I worked with my IC - my relationship with God ... and the 'why bad things happen to good people' factor among other things ...

Read it - if one day I quit my job or I get fired, I will publish my own soap opera <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />
I will be more than happy to share with you anything else you want to know ...

I agree that it makes me feel that he is minimizing the pain he has caused me by not remembering it. I have to wonder if they purposefully push things out of their mind, so that they don't focus on the guilt.

Mily,

It is so good to hear from you I have not been on the boards in awhile, but think of you often - so often!!!
I am glad to know that he is moving in the right direction for a change and that everything is going good! ( God has a way of working on his little lost souls!!!)

I hope he keeps up the good work and your family is a healed one in 2006!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> I am praying for you as well as all of the other girls (including myself - nothing has changed - divorce going forward but toooo long)!

Keep me and my babies in your prayers as always,

JT <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

JT
{{{ big hugs for you }}}

I think about you a lot too! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I cann't believe how long the divorce process is taking!
I have the feeling that your H is a lot like my xH and he has not face the consequences of his actions yet <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />
Is he still living with you?

Always!