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My ex's Father passed away mid October.
Everyone had flown in (the ex, a few brothers, FIL sister).
My SIL called and told me a couple hours after he died. I had seen him the previous weekend and knew he was pretty serious and it was just a matter of time.
So they had the viewing and the funeral the following day.
The ex asked if she could take the girls her Mom's house to pick up some stuff as we were at my SIL's house after the funeral.
That was about the only words we exchanged in 2 days. I had nothing to say to her.
She did not call the kids when she showed up.
She did not call the kids when she left.
Keep in mind that I have been very close with her family since before we got married and have remained very close to this day. I live about an hour away and have seen them every 2-3 weeks.
The ex has seen her mom (and the kids) maybe 4 times in the last 7 years.
My SIL calls me around the 16th and tells me she thinks my ex is coming in for Christmas and may be bringing wankstain with her.
No one from their family have met him at all.
They know she had an affair with him and bolted from me & the kids to live with him.
I aksed SIL how she feels about her bringing him home and how she feels about him going over for Christmas.
Her response?
"Well, he didn't do anything wrong".
I was completely dumbfounded. When my ex split, I talked with her sister many times and she bawled like a baby for about the 1st 3-4 months whenver we did talk. She was so hurt by her sister.
She knows and has known exactly how I feel about hte whole thing (duh...).
I told her under no circumstances would I allow my youngest to visit her mom (term used loosely here) while wankstain was with her.
If she wanted to come over or have me meet her somewhere without his presence, I don't have aproblem with that.
I did not get into it with her. I told her if he shows up, we will not be over for Christmas and we would stop by a few weeks after.
I called my SIL on the 23rd and she said the ex & her boyfriend showed up.
I told her we'd stop by in a few weeks then.
Christmas comes and goes.
The ex did not send a card for the girls.
She didn't call the house.
She didn't call my cell.
She didn't ask her sister to call me to see the girls.
Tomorrow is my youngest's birthday.
No card as of yet.
(slight edit for clarity)
Last edited by Chris -CA123; 12/26/05 11:09 PM.
Prayers & God Bless!
Chris
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How very tragic for your little girls. Some day your XW will wake up and will grieve her remaining days for what she did to those girls. Thank the Lord they have such a good daddy, Chris. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Chris, you are just another example of the fine men out there! I am so sorry for your kids. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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Geeze Chris,
I don't know your story...but your ex is unbelievable!
I am sure glad that your girls have you in their lives...
I agree with ML... one day your ex will wake up and I wouldn't want to be her... she must be really lost!
XBW
DS16 & DS22
PLAN D: finalized!
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It truly amazes me when someone can abandon their children like that. For some reason a mother doing such really seems bizarre. I believe there is a maternal bond that is somewhat unique to women, and to see a mother so easily disregard that is disturbing and is likely indicative of a plethora of psychological issues. That’s my armchair psychoanalysis for the evening.
I think it’s great you have kept close ties with your in-laws. I asked mine to get out of my house on Christmas day after I found out they had a pleasant little visit with my STBXWW, her also married OM and my children. They could not understand my displeasure with them.
So……how do I get my STBXWW to leave our city to be with her OM in his city on a permanent basis? (I get to keep the kids in that fantasy scenario of course) You’d think he’d be getting sick of flying his plane back and forth by now. I’ll take any tips you got.
Anyways Chris, sounds like your daughters are dern lucky to have a dad as you. I wish you and yours a happy New Year.
BS 42 S-10 D-5
D-day 03NOV14
Plan B - 04Jul22
Filed(me) - 05May13 Final - 06Mar16
"When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her."
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I'm so sorry Chris,,,, <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />
Sorry cause it's painful to have anyone hurt your kids and not to be able to do anything about it....
and sorry for your kids cause they certainly did nothing to deserve this treatment.
Thank God they have you for their dad!!
{{{{{{{{{Chris & girls}}}}}}}}
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I did not get into it with her. I told her if he shows up, we will not be over for Christmas and we would stop by a few weeks after.
You are a good good man...
Merry Christmas to you and yours...
ARK^^
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Chris, you are one of the great dads on this board who give me hope that there really are good men left out there. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Your kids are blessed to have one sane, loving parent.
Me 40, STBXWH 43
Married 16 years
D-day 01/25/05
Son 14, Daughter 10
Divorce almost final - I hope!
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"wankstain" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
A new phrase just entered my vocabulary.
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Your WW and Wankstain (LOVE IT) deserve each other...her actions show she is truly deserving of a man by that name.
Chris, God bless you and the girls. You are a wonderful and strong guy. Your WW is probably indeed suffering from some wierd mental state. I can never imagine walking awya from my little guy ever. Nothing on earth could make me do it.
Thank God your girls have you. And her family? I can't believe they let them in the door. But remember...you did not abandon at all! You have held the ties to the girls' mom's side of the family in tact this whole time. Many kudos to you.
It must be wonderful to be there with the girls...and to be that rock. I love my ds and whenever darth tosses him my way if his schedule doesn't fit him, I say sure! I have ds a bit more than darth anyway, but I swear..beinga way from ds is so darn hard.
God bless you again!
Your WW will wake up one day and see what is left of her life....and just be glad you will not be around to see what happens on that day.
me:37 BS; s:7;
xh:38; OW:26;eloped w/OW 1 wk after D: 12/29/03. OC born 3/17/04. Happy! Blessed to be the mother of a wonderful son..great profession..Life's good!
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Chris,
How terrible.
how are your girls taking this????
bb
Me-46yo + Husband-49yo
Met 1975/ Married 1980
H had 3 month affair/D-d January 2001
Grandparents since Dec.2005
Recovered and moving on and we're looking forward to the years ahead!
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From piecing together your story without reading it, I knew your ex was still in her affair, but did not know she had abandoned your kids that completely.
How horrible for them, and how heartbreaking for you to watch.
It is such an abomination when a mother does that to her children.
I can't imagine ever speaking to my sister again if she did that. How hurtful to you and the kids, practically saying "this is okay what you have done/are doing". People can be so shortsighted.
I'm sorry Chris.
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Hi Chris, Let's see I forget...was it Pepsi or Coke that she left because of? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Given her behavior in the past and for all of these years I guess I am not surprised. I really wonder what she could say to your daughters after all of this time and her complete abandonment of them. I am trying to recall how old are the girls now. I am guessing that the youngest is 17 or 18 now right? And the oldest one is not a girl any longer but a woman. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> Chris my friend, we have been on this site too long. I do hope you had a great Christmas and that you and your daughters are happy in life. God Bless, JL PS: I don't know if you know, but it was your situation when you were posting in Jan and Feb of '69 that hooked me on this site. I figured I had to stay until "Chris, resolved his situation." and it took years. You are a good man and father and your exW is NOT a mother. We all know that.
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....it was your situation when you were posting in Jan and Feb of '69 that hooked me on this site. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> Proof JL is older than dirt. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> WAT
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PS: I don't know if you know, but it was your situation when you were posting in Jan and Feb of '69 that hooked me on this site. I figured I had to stay until "Chris, resolved his situation." and it took years. You are a good man and father and your exW is NOT a mother. We all know that. He's confused again....darn that old age dementia! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> Chris registered and started posting in 99. I started posting in '69! LOL <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> Susan <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />
Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.
~ Kinky Friedman
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WAT and Susan, Older than dirt and getting a new set of specs. Can't tell those darned 9 (six's) for those 6 (nines). <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> Good to hear from you two. I hope you had a Merry Christmas. JL
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....it was your situation when you were posting in Jan and Feb of '69 that hooked me on this site. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> Proof JL is older than dirt. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> WAT '69?'...... oh WAT a night, late december back in....oops 69's the wrong year....wrong song, right decade though..... Hey Chris, wasn't that b4 your time!??!?!? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> Me thinks 'ol JL's gettin' his 9's and 6's mixed up again. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> L.
Last edited by Orchid; 12/28/05 02:06 AM.
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