Yeah, besides, he'll want to run that "account access" thing into the ground. He'll swear on his mother's grave it's all true and do 45 minutes embellishing the original allegation. That’s before they get anything else discussed.

I hope she doesn't let him anywhere near the computer even if she did clear the history; he moved out, I hate how the privacy street only goes one way during separation.

Longhorn - LOL - You probably have that about right.

You guys I am seriously laughing at all the threads you have posted since he got here. You made me smile more than I have in a while...

Ok - so what did I say my name was - cucumber...

So. NO LB's, But No Plan A either. I felt I needed to be very aloof of what he was telling me...

He simply told me what OWH told her and then what OW told my H - so obviously the story is a bit distorted when I get it. So I confirmed nothing and I denied nothing. I seriously just played dumb.

I don't think he liked that very much but he just kept talking. it is amazing how much people will talk to you if you say nothing.. LOL...

I am not being cocky right now, but I feel good. I lead him to believe that I have exsposed to everyone, yet I only did the small ones... SO now he is scared. I like that A lot!!! I think he is very on the verge on admitting that he is having an emotional affair (he doesn't get that that is almost worse than a PA)... But whatever - he questioned himself...

He said theat OWH thinks H and I are crazy - I said I don't care - it is not about him. I told him that I don't care what anyone thinks - this is about us and us alone.

He did mention the phone thingy and that he was very concerned that I would get in trouble. I just said, let the chips fall where they may. I don't think I will go to jail- so I am not worried...

OMG - I can't think - I am realing at how calm I was and how totally in control of the entire conversation I was...
He was talking so much I almost needed a towel to dry myself off from his spewing!!!

Loved it!! Felt great for me. Again - No LB's on my part, but No Plan A either - maybe a little, but not much.

I feel that I did well. I feel strong!!

GOsh I feel like I owe this all to everyone here. You have given me more strength than I could have mistered in 3 years!!! THANK YOU ALL...

OK - SO THAT SAID - I STILL AHVE NO IDEA WHAT I AM DOING?? YET STILL LMAO AND FEELING GREAT!!!

It sounds like you did great. Stay the course. You do need to expose them at work.

Good going Alison! I am just proud of you for staying strong and not getting emotional. Believe me, I know how hard that can be.

Kim

I am rereading all the threads and God bless you all for everything!! You have lifted my higher than I have been in months and I just feel so good. I have done nothing but be calm and in control and I love it... Am I crazy - I just feel great. I don't think I gave him anything he wanted and that is what I just needed to do for me... I have given so much to him and not gotten much in return so I figure, it's my turn now MFer... What is wrong with me right now?? I really think this conversation will stick with him for the rest of his life - whether we save the marriage or not - this is the absolute first conversation that I had control of... He was powerless. OMG - What has happened to me???

I am so glad you are ok. I was so afraid dh was going to get ready for bed. Thank goodness Penn State and Fl are only 3 points different.

You did good, Alison.

I am so glad you stayed cool.

Since you led him to believe you exposed to everyone do you think you might ought to do that so when he tries to damage control it will make him look bad? I am not expert on exposure, but it might be better to go ahead and do it.

Listen to the pros and get a strong plan for your next steps.

Go to bed and get some rest. We all need rest after the day you put us through.:)

I lead him to believe that I did expose them to his work and he totally freaked out. I don't feel that G wants me to do that right now. I am going to wait. Plus - my mom got really mad at me when I told her about the work thing.. So - you know God or mother - it is kind of a toss up.. Just teasing... But my mom is pretty overbaring...

Anyway - he is freaking out!!! And I am well, that is what matters for me and DD right now!!!

Oh No!!! I am sorry. I feel badly now. you guys are so amazing, I honestly COULD NOT HAVE DONE ANY OF THIS WITHOUT YOU!!! I did see the smiley face, but I still fell badly. Gosh - I do feel as though I took over the whole MB today. I am sorry, but it did happen so fast for all of us...

Well, Alison, you have definately been the STAR of the show, today!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> I had trouble staying away from the computer! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

Good job, and keep the strength! It's starting to come together, (And so quickly, I might add!!) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Take care....

Jennifer68

Why did your mom get angry about exposing him at work? Because it threatens his job (income)? Because she's afraid how angry he will be?

Nothing against your Mom, but is she an expert at breaking up affairs? Does she understand that you are SO CLOSE to breaking up their affair by making it completely unmanageable for them and taking ALL the fun out of it?

God wants your marriage saved; and exposure is the surest way to break up the affair that is killing it. You can divorce him and get child support, and he can still get fired and you can be left with nothing. Surrender the fear, pray about it.

MSA

Your mom is mad because she thinks you exposed WH at his work?

Ps. Don't be sorry! Be HAPPY!

Mom knows that without H's career, DD won't have any diapers... She is NO expert, but she is my mom... Plus, I did say that I did not feel ready to expose to work yet. I feel good about leading him to believe that I did -- like I said I scared him a bit...

Oh darn it what did he say that I wanted to tell you...???
He kept on asking me if he needed an attorney and I just said, "you told me you already got one and filed for divorce so why are you asking me now if you need an attorney?" - what's up with that?? He is a nutbag!!

OOhh - Something else...??? It was important I think..??Shoot I can't remember - wine I guess. I will think hard and write in a minute..

Alison, he is freaking out because he knows it will KILL his affair. I would strongly suggest doing the work exposure while you have them on the ropes, before they get a chance to get back up and regroup. Timing is somewhat important here, because it will take a MAXIMUM BLOW to kill this affair. And that maximum blow comes from multiple exposures.

Your H is very scared of that exposure because he knows it will seriously harm/kill the affair. So, please give it some very serious thought, Alison. You really need to do it.

No - mom is mad b/c I was thinking about exposing to work... Again - she is not an expert, but also - I don't feel it is the right thing to do right now...I feel like I have done enough for today...

If he gets fired, you sell the BMW. You can buy lots of diapers.

He can always get another job, if need be, but he can't get another marriage. He will have to leave that job anyway if you ever expect to recover your marriage. He can't continue to work with her so one of them will have to leave anyway.

OOHH - I remember. H said that OWH only had some tape with them at some restairaunt hanging out and then in his car just talking. But OWH told me that his attorney had enough evidence to have him divorced tomorrw (in MD 2 ways to get immediate divorce, 1. Adultery 2. Abuse)... That is what OWH told me...

What do I believe?? OWH has my number and has not called me back... what do I think about the OWH telling me things?? Should I trust this dude?? Shoudl I call him and ask him what is up??