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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 67
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OP
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 67 |
HELP ME
After what happened sunday nite,. I checked his phone this morning while he was in the shower did not ask or tell him and I seen that she sent him a message ANOTHER MESSGAE
last night that said" I miss and luv in every essence of the word"
he replied "oh yea"
WHAT THE F__K do i do NOW
BS(me) 27
WS (H) 34
Married 6yrs.
Together 9yrs.
Stepson-16
Stepson-10
my son-6
OC #1 (G) - 2
OC #2 (G) - 1
DD-#1 6/21/04' #2 7/5/05
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539 |
I think it is time to ask him to leave WG. How much are you willing to put up with? It may be plan B time for you.
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 67
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OP
Member
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 67 |
Faithful I dont even know if I really tried Plan A to the fullest. CAn you please refresh my memory on Plan A and B.
Is it one thing that she is still in love with him and he not her? Or am I just being a total fool?
BS(me) 27
WS (H) 34
Married 6yrs.
Together 9yrs.
Stepson-16
Stepson-10
my son-6
OC #1 (G) - 2
OC #2 (G) - 1
DD-#1 6/21/04' #2 7/5/05
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539 |
Have you told him you are aware of the recent contact? It is such a problem when there is an OC situation but OW has to be told that he is not interested. No more C without you totally involved.
Plan A is about you the BS making changes that you need to make to yourself and your half of the M. It makes the M a better and safer place for the WS. Plan B is to protect the remaining love the BS has for the WS by cutting off all contact with the WS until the A is over and NC is in place
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 67
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OP
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 67 |
No i have not told him yet that I know of the SUn and Mon messages. I was talking to an old freind from here who said maybe I should give a day or 2 more and see if I see anything else f\before I say anything.
Plan B means What, Seperation? Divorce? I dont know if I can do that, or if I am ready to make such a move. I am such a wussy when it comes to him. It is my heart and soul, I can not imagine my life with out him.
BS(me) 27
WS (H) 34
Married 6yrs.
Together 9yrs.
Stepson-16
Stepson-10
my son-6
OC #1 (G) - 2
OC #2 (G) - 1
DD-#1 6/21/04' #2 7/5/05
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
It's really difficult to have this discussion with you until you actually read Dr. Harley's book Surviving an Affair
Click above where it says "Bookstore" .... and order the book. You need it.
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 312
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 312 |
Take your time and think, read, it does help.
You will know when it is right. Plan B doesn't necessarily doesn't mean divorce, but that is a chance that you take. It means you cut off contact w/ H until he cuts off contact w/ OW.
Married 5 years. Together almost 14 years.
Age 30
DDay March 2004
OC Born June 2004
2nd Dday Feb 2005
My daughter was born 7/22/05.
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 67
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OP
Member
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 67 |
Wife you just post everywher dont you, are you on oc to
BS(me) 27
WS (H) 34
Married 6yrs.
Together 9yrs.
Stepson-16
Stepson-10
my son-6
OC #1 (G) - 2
OC #2 (G) - 1
DD-#1 6/21/04' #2 7/5/05
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 312
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 312 |
Yep, I post there also. I hadn't been coming here much lately. I didn't have the time. I've been back recently since I've had a break from work. I'm Wife30 everywhere I go. I get too confused when people change their names at different places. I recognize your story though. I might have to change my name after the divorce though. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Married 5 years. Together almost 14 years.
Age 30
DDay March 2004
OC Born June 2004
2nd Dday Feb 2005
My daughter was born 7/22/05.
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Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 2,430
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Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 2,430 |
Ditto the above, WG. Read the articles on this site and take their advice. Consider Plan B, which is separation to preserve what love is left, on condition to reconcile if he makes certain changes. Saving your marriage is good, but being a doormat is not.
That said, there is one member here who puts up w/wondering spouse with full knowledge that he is cheating. However, she is living by a certain philosophy, not blind; and I do hope she---and you!--are protecting yourselves from STDs. You deserve better.
Best wishes,
J
Do not wait for leaders; do it alone, person to person. -Mother Teresa
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