Here's an excerpt from an article from a recent issue of a Mpls monthly (the article is not about infidelity):


"While our marriage serves the greatest good?" What does that even mean?

My W is still "waking up." I can see it and feel it.

But only when I'm receptive myself. When I'm offended by past fog-latin statements, or even recent flashbacks of them, I lose my ESP.

Just a few weeks ago, she commented about "term contract marriages", a concept portrayed on a DVD version of the skiffy series "Earth 2", where the terms were only 2-4 years at a time.

"As long as our love shall last" and "While our marriage serves the greatest good" both translate back 2 "as long as we both shall feel like it" or "so long as I give a $h!+!" They might sound loftier, but they're not.

2 any who might think term contract marriages is a good idea, including my W (though I really don't think she thought about it in depth while fog-bound), I've got one question:

What about 30-yr mortgages? 18-yrs for kids 2 be considered adults?

Those are just fiscal considerations, of course. Devotion, responsibility, integrity, and REAL love (the choice, not the chemistry) are the things that sustain me while my W goes through her lengthy withdrawal.

After all, it's what I promised 2 do 30 years ago. And though I had no idea at the time what I would face and how hard it would be 2 deal with, I've sure learned what it all meant.

-ol' 2long

Actually I don't think I really *thought* my vows through. We used traditional vows, but I refused to have the word *obey* in our vows.......we'd talked about it, and he was teasing me saying I'd have to *obey* him.....and I said "Yeah, that's not going into our vows", so I removed that.

I knew when I married my Husband that I loved him. We'd already been together for a few years before we got married, and he'd asked me a bunch of times to marry him, but I had said "No" each time he'd asked, until the last time. (I just didn't feel ready).

Well, I got our vows out and read them back in August on my anniversary, and I meant every word I said in them. I may not have known it at the time, but I did.

I still mean every word. I want to be with him for the rest of my life.

I think these new fangled vows are complete BS, if it's going to be a short term thing, why marry at all?? Just date!!

And if I had my vows to do over again (maybe someday I'll renew my vows) I would put the *obey* back in there, because now I understand what it means.

God Bless,

-Caren

I would want fair warnning on the wedding invitation..that those are the vows...so I could check the no thank you box..

I would hate to have gotten all dressed in some smashing number only to have to leave right in the middle of the ceremony...

and miss out on the free CHICKEN dinner........

not to mention dancing to LOVE SHACK several cocktails later.....

and the HOKEY POKIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ARTICHOKIE

ARKIE

... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I'm with you, ark!

Why would I want 2 dust off that suit and miss the chance 2 work on my house, for a 'temporary' marriage?

They should use scantrons for invitations. That way, I could check "next time" if I'm tied up that weekend!

-ol' 2long

Scantrons, 2long? Love that idea - RSVP "maybe I'll make it to your next one".

I was thinking toilet paper for the invites.

GC

Or they could really economize and print the invitations on the napkins for the reception.

And if they sent plastic forks, spoons, and knives (or maybe just a spork) and paper plates and cups, they wouldn't have 2 pay for setting tables at the reception.

-ol' 2long

LOL, reminds me of when I was about 17 and went to Knott's Berry Farm with my then boyfriend. He asked me to get "hitched" and then we went to the "hitching post" and said our "vows" which included promising to stay "hitched" until someone better came along! I cannot imagine doing something like that in a real wedding ceremony. sheesh!!!!!!!!!!!

Picture a trash can full of napkinvitations, all smeared with ketchup and scattered among the chicken bones.

Tiiiiiiiiin roof! Rusted!

GC

I wonder if the proposal should then be reconfigured so you get down on one knee and ask your fair maiden to be your "first" wife.

I now realize that even though our vows were traditional, my FWH believed the above statement. He said one time after marriage that he would never leave me UNLESS he didn't love me anymore. I told him that is not what marriage is about - that you stick it out despite your feelings and he seemed to agree at the time. IF I only knew this is what he really believed (his mother & father had multiple marriages & divorces) so I think he never saw a long-lasting successful marriage that survived NO matter what (as I had seen with ALL my family - except my mom).

I believe if divorce rates continue to rise, each generation will continue to lose the value in marriage. We already see it with people choosing to live together long-term having children without ever getting married. Then, you see it in the "new" vows. When marriage is no longer associated with our creator, there is NO meaning in it.

W2BS, I disagree very much with your last sentence.

GC

gc:

They could save more money on trash cans by buying the chicken by the bucket, putting - say - 2 buckets per table and using them for the trash after the meal.

Gives new meaning 2 "I have a bone 2 pick with you" doesn't it?

No bones about it, modern vows are everything they're cracked up 2 be! Which is what cracks me up! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

-ol' 2long

Discarding something that works and calling the inferior new alternative "modern" is not fair to the word.

Marriage is undergoing a major change, and there's no stopping it. Some elements of that change are exemplified by "as long as it serves the greater good" wedding vows.

But there are good things too.

GC

graycloud,

Where does the concept of marriage come from?????? God!!!!

The Biblical view of marriage is found in Genesis. A man and woman when married become "one flesh." The New Testament adds a warning to this "oneness." "Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder" (Matthew 19:6).

Can you give me another source of the definition of marriage older then that?

I doubt we can debate this subject, W2BS. With all due respect, I think it would go nowhere.

My basic point is that one can live an ethical and meaningful life without a religious creed. One may even be an atheist, or an agnostic who has no religious practice, and do this.

GC