Actually, EyeseeEm, the kids have a counselor.
If you've read a page or 2 back, you'll see my post about that.
The school couselor has been great, and checks up on them both quit often. Another thing is that, the kids know we're splitting up, but they never as much as seen us argue. We did most of our talking, back when trying to work on things, during "drives"... we'd put the kids to bed, let his mom know we're going for a little drive, and that's usually when we'd do our talk. Or we'd go to a restaurant and talk there.
His mom has lived with us for about 7 years, and even she was shocked when we told her we might split up (back in June). She was angry because she found out we had problems for as long as she was living with us, and said that if she knew about our problems at all, that she would never have suggested for us to move to our current city, cause she was hoping the 3 of us would buy a house together and now that plan was canceled... at least now I know where her prioryties were.
Anyway... we don't fight and argue in front of our kids... we're not rude to each other or talk bad about each other to the kids... they only know what they need to know, and that's more than enough on their little plates right now.
I'm sure witht time they'll figure out more stuff and find out as well... but for now, they have enough todeal with.
They know that at any time we can talk about anything, and that if they preffer to talk to the counselor, it is ok too.
I've been encouraring them both not to hold anything in... if they are mad at us, that's ok too... They're very sure of our love for them, and are unhappy about having to sleep in 2 different homes, but they are able to find some of the positive things about this situation, and can get excited about that, too.
Anyhow, end of my first half of split shift... back to work.