Long story short, my cheating hubby moved out on 1/29/06. Basically no contact with me since then, still calls kids. Yesterday was 17th anniversary, hard day. Legal seperation in the works, we have to live apart for 60 days.

Today I'm cleaning to keep my mind off things, I mean washing walls etc. Every room I enter there are things that belong to him. Every time I find something I cry. So question 1, do I box them up and give them to him or leave them here?

question 2, do I just wait and hope he doesn't slap me with divorce papers?

question 3, how do I interact with his parents, whom I love, during this? for instance, his dad is very ill, should I go see him?

I feel manic-depressive. I'm either so low that all I do is cry or so high that I pretend it doesn't matter. I'm seeing my doctor next week.

I'ld say you need to get the advice of an attorney. Then you will at least know more about what is likely to happen. I'm glad you have an apt. with your dr. It's too bad it's not till next week. About boxing up his stuff. I would say do what seems to be the nicest thing you can do for each of you. If you can't stand to look at the stuff then box it up. If he will be upset to find it boxed up and that matters to and you can stand to leave it, then leave it. Also, you have to keep your childrens feelings in mind. What would make them the most confortable? He may want his stuff but not want to cause waves by asking for it. It's not like the stuff can't all be put back in its place if things get back to normal with you two. I have filed for divorce, bought my own house and moved but made it clear to my H that I would be happy to work on our marriage if he wanted to. This week he has been to my new house every evening. This whole mess is very confusing for me too. But even at this point there is still hope.

Seeing the doctor will really help you. In the meantime, keep cleaning. I went on a cleaning frenzy after D-day and it was very good for me. I got the house sparkling and did organizing, painting, fixing up.

For me, it felt better to box up all of WH's stuff and completely rearrange things. It looked like a man had never lived here. It might bother your children though. Sometimes it does.

If nothing else, just move his stuff somewhere out of your site, like the closet, under the bed, or just designate a whole room, just for his stuff, then keep the door closed. There will be many triggers, but we find ways to work around them. Hang in there!

Jennifer

Thanks for the replies and advice. I have decided on boxing things up somewhat and placing everything visible that he left behind in the spare room with the door closed. I also removed a wedding picture from our bedroom and replaced it with a favorite painting. It was hard and it hurt but it's another day I made it through.

I'm attempting to go into Plan B and I don't know what's holding me back. Maybe it's plain and simple fear of the outcome.

I need to be strong and I pray daily for the strength to make it through this. I'm glad there are people here who understand and care because in the real world that is my life. it seems that no one understands or cares.