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This is sort of facetious, but maybe there's something to it. If the A is so much like an addiction, why couldn't the BS expose the A in an intervention type setting? It would blow the WS away! Talk about a reality check... everyone he knows, all in one room, telling him how the affair is affecting their lives... The group could be briefed ahead of time on MB principles. Then after the intervention, instead of going to rehab, the couple could go away on a Retrouvaille type thing. Or just on a cruise together. Man, could I ever use a cruise to the Caribbean right about now. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />
Me: BW (26)
Him: WH (29)
Our Baby: DD (6 mo)
Married 4 years, together 10 years
College sweethearts
Life fell apart: 9/16/05
Separated since: 11/25/05
D-Day: 12/26/05
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We did do an intervention. It worked for us. I didn't get a cruise though...was I supposed to? Somebody owes me a cruise - I wanna know who, right now! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />
Me (BS) 36
FWW 35
Married 5/25/91
DS-7
DD - Born 11/8/05 !!!
PA #1 12/1996
PA #2 4/01 to 1/04
NC 1/04
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
- Mahatma Gandhi
Don't think exposure is a good idea? Go here...
From Harley Himself
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Thank you, RNS and Flukeboy, The thought occured to me over on AdrianC's thread for the first time. I felt really embarrassed I'd posted that. Whew. Not crazy, not crazy...if Fluke can do it then I am not crazy! Okay, maybe a little. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> LA
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I just threw the cruise in as a way for the spouses to reconnect. Also, no cell phone or email allowed, so at least there would be a week or so where the BS would know for sure there would be NC. Plus, I just really want to go on a cruise. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Me: BW (26)
Him: WH (29)
Our Baby: DD (6 mo)
Married 4 years, together 10 years
College sweethearts
Life fell apart: 9/16/05
Separated since: 11/25/05
D-Day: 12/26/05
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I hadn't even read much of AdrianC's thread... did you post the idea already?
Wow... great minds think alike!
Me: BW (26)
Him: WH (29)
Our Baby: DD (6 mo)
Married 4 years, together 10 years
College sweethearts
Life fell apart: 9/16/05
Separated since: 11/25/05
D-Day: 12/26/05
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Posts: 10,060
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Some here have previously used intervention ala Al Anon. Seems to me it's just another variation of exposure. I'll postulate that it isn't used more because those not as familiar with infidelity as we are don't understand how similar it is to addiction. There's no "substance." (double meaning intended <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> )
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Interesting idea. You would have to expose to everyone but your WS first.
Has anyone run this by Dr. Harley? What would he say?
RoT
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Rathernot- Plus, I just really want to go on a cruise. LOL!!!! Hey I want to go on a cruise too, dang it. I think that the intervention thing is a good idea, but I don't know how you'd get the other people *involved*...because they wouldn't understand. I have yet to find someone (even if they've been through infidelity) that understands the MB concept. It's really sad, because there are so many marriages out there that could use MB before it's too late....unfortunately people don't want to *fix it, if it ain't broke*.(I was also guilty of this mentality pre-A) God Bless, -Caren
Always Look For Grace Given, Even in the midst of Grace Denied.
BS-Me 39
WH-37
Together 15 years
Married 12 years
7 kids total, His: SD20, SS18, Twin SS's 16.
Mine: DD22, DD15
Ours: DD12
Affair began Fall 04, Separated Fall 04,2 Failed Plan B attempts, False recovery of sorts Spring 05.......Still pluggin' away.
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Interesting idea. You would have to expose to everyone but your WS first. Hmmmmmmmm, not necessarily. I think the presumption is that affair intervention, like the Al Anon version, is because confrontation with the "patient" didn't work. So affair intervention would be called for when ALL other exposure wasn't successful to "get to" the WS. JHMO WAT ------------------ An explanation that explains everything, without ever explaining anything, explains nothing.
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