maybe my life is parallel to the housewives....

I'VE SEEN IT ALL...

TODAY MY XH SENDS ME AN INVITE TO A SINGLE'S GATHERING...it will be sat. night march 10...and it is made up of many private clubs in atlanta and its single members..

whaaaa whaaaa?

we had a decent talk yesterday and got along nicely. actually nicely.

and today after the job interview, he said he'd do whatever to help me out to make sure i got the job...whatever.

and now?

sending me an invite to a singles party? heck if you are in atl, i'll invite you too..

first of all WHY IS HE BEING SENT AN INVITE TO A SINGLES PARTY? he is NOT single. you're married hello darth?

I think he's freaking out b/c he's heard from his x/sometimes/on off mistress monkeyho that I am seeing my x college bf, the one guy in the world that my xh WOULD NOT WANT ME TO EVER MARRY...you know? the guy who he FORBADE his mistress to speak to? the man who has made my xh jump outta golf carts and start fights with on golf courses? the man who dared call my xh's bluff on many occasions?

I forwarded this to my best girlfriend.

she was speechless.

she said that he's obviously sitting there contemplating me and my love life...and something ain't right with darth. she said it is scaring her as it screams "PRE CHEATING" again...as it is this time last year he began cheating all over again.

I JUST CANNOT BELIEVE THAT MY XH DID THIS! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

it's not like I am an expensive ex...I mean he pays so little cs and alimony. wierd. freaky.

I don't get it?

You were his back-upp in case anything happens between him and monkeyho. If you go to former b/f, he has no safety net.

actually, his wife is his backup in case monkeyho dumps him for good...as the new wifey was/is the SECOND OW...

I am that backup plan if all else fails...he views me as safety net..

except I am not behaving as the "Ol safety net" should behave. safety nets don't giggle. safety nets don't date. safety nets don't live each day with their child being happy and contented. nope.

my best friend thinks after all this time that I have moved up his little ladder from safety net to possible ow...freaky huh? but I AM NOT AN OW...NOT EVEN IF I WAS THE BS WHO WAS WRONGED.

he now treats his affair wife as the safety net. me? who knows.

but it is strange knowing my xh thinks about my dating life.

that is just strange. very very strange.

So write him an e-mail thanking him for the invite then GO AND HAVE FUN!!! Shoot take XBF with you!!

Don't let the mere weirdness of HIS sending you an invite to the event prevent you from going and meeting various people and most importantly HAVING FUN!!!!

As and aside, of course he's concerned about your dating life, if/when you get married again alimony would stop. His issue at this point appears to be with WHO you are dating, not that you are dating.

My thought would be to say thanks, but I no longer need singles events. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
That would get him even more. (although I likely wouldn't send it).

Peachy,
Can you Plan B darth? I think you have way too much interaction with him, and he's the type of guy to take that and run with it. Thats why he thinks he gets to have a voice in your life.

I think its somewhat natural / human nature to be concerned with who you are dating. You and Darth share a child. Plus with him I think its a territorial thing. I don't think he views you as a safety net -- He thinks you "belong" to him.

He thinks all three of you gals belong to him. He doesn't really want any of his harem moving off to another man. He is especially threatened by your XBF. I suspect thats why Monkey is trying to interact with your XBF; she knows she can push Darths buttons that way.

I know I don't care IF my ex dates, but I have an interest in the quality of the person he dates -- if it gets to the point of that person being around my children.

we actually do have limited contact...not too much is there...and his actions don't bother me or have any effect on what i choose to do...or not to do.

he does probably still view me as property...and i think lex that he's most likely worried i will end up w/xbf...frightful to him...1)he'd be losing property and 2)it would be to the man he hates most in the world...besides himself.

it would be scary to see yourself being replaced by a higher caliber individual. One who will be hanging out with your son everyday.... One who will treat peachy better.....Who peachy might have another child with......poor darth (HAHAHAHAHA)

Boy he'd really be out in the cold then, wouldn't he? I can just imagine how his nonsense will escalate when he's facing that!

Other than how it may affect your child, why do you care about anything he does?

I know it's hard to get on with life after what you have been through, I had similar problems and am still bothered by issues at times.

But, moving on is important. The guy is obviously a creep. Ignore his nonsense, as he is capable of serving it out in super-sized servings.

I know you think it would be nice to have his help in buying a home but I know you need to reconsider. The more ties you have to him, the more power he has in your life.

yep,...but cindy, there will not be a house and will be dealing with a lot more than issues now when the pittance for alimony runs out next year.

so it's either house now or never.

will keep nice fences properly repaired and functioning until then.

But, if you take his money, he has more perceived power. Think about what you are agreeing to. From hearing about this man, I know he will try to exploit it.....I KNOW HE WILL.

it is actually money he owes me...and is giving me...but will help in the securing of home loan. since he so nicely ruined our family's credit...and cleaned his up.

so it will be only my home...not his. he is just getting loan for us...one of his contacts basically...and a good rate...and is finally giving me the money left over from the sale of the dream house...the part of the money he "acknowledges" exists...even though it's really alot more...but if i take him to court for it, it iwll disappear again like all the rest does...that's why i am taking it.