Man, oh, man

I just did something that I'm a little panicked over.

A few months back, our team hired a new intern...a young woman. I was INSTANTLY attracted to her.

I saw it coming and took steps to avoid it because I was still working on my marriage at the time.

Today (this morning)...she delivers some reports to my office. We engage in some idle chit chat. I'm nervous and fidgity but thought I was being cool about it.

Suddenly, I blurt out "I'm very attracted to you..."

She says "I know...I've always known. Everyone in the office knows...it's pretty obvious."

Me..."I'm sorry. I must really look like a loser."

Her..."Don't be. I think you're interesting, too. You wanna do lunch today?"

Me..."Uh, mmm, uh...lemme check my schedule and get back with you..."

Geez. I'm feeling pretty embarrassed. I feel like a putz.

Why would something like that come tumbling out of my mouth? Why do I want to say yes to lunch so badly? Why do I feel like I'm a dumb sixteen year old again? stupid, stupid, stupid

I'm embarrassed because I know what I'd say to someone else who posted here about this. "It's too soon." and "You're still married."

I don't like feeling like I'm not "together" and I'm stumbling all over myself with this one.

Why can a woman do this to me?

Arghhh...

Ask for a raincheck. Be honest and tell her that you want to but that you feel it would be better to wait. It's ok to let her know that you are interested once your divorce is final. She may be a little disapointed at first, but you will score big points because it shows her you have character. Don't put yourself in a position of being alone with her when you feel this vunerable. It sounds like this is worth waiting on.

This isn't dumb stuff. You're not divorced & you're new to thinking about being with another woman.

Don't you think you can have lunch with her? It's lunch, & it may help ease the tension a bit, help you realize you're starting a new phase of your life.

I don't believe you have to have ALL the healing behind you to spend time with the opposite sex, even those you may be attracted to. IMO the divorce doesn't have to be complete before you go out with a woman. You're not looking for a new wife, you're going out with a woman you have an interest in.

Ok...I did have lunch with her. It was fun. I was pretty nervous at first. She seems like an old soul...very mature for her age (she's 24...I'm 44).

BUT...I fly out of the country tomorrow for an extended period, so there won't be any more to it.

I'll be spending time with my daughters and family tonight. It may be a long time before I see them again.

24 & 44? Yikes! To me that seems HUGE! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

The difference in age would be the thing that worries me. You are almost twice her age! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Low...
I'd stay away. You need time to heal. Co workers can be a bad situation, you are still fresh, she is too young... there is way too many red flags here for me. You're the grown up here, you are going to have to be-show some self control and be glad that for some reason you are leaving. I'd really let this one go!
Good luck...

Oh, this spells nothing but trouble. A 24 yo woman, who knows she has a still-married 44 yo coworker wrapped around her finger, asking him to lunch. Run for the hills, Low, this has all the signs of trouble brewing. Especially if this is a coworker.

AGG

Well do you want to the short answer, or the long answer?

S/A: because you are a man
L/A: because you are a man

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I agree with the others, her age and being a co-worker spell trouble with a capital T.

She may seem mature, heck we all seemed mature at 24...until it's tested who knows? Throw in a divorce,a couple of kids, some job losses, money worries... in other words throw some life experience into the mix... and that is where maturity comes from. IMHO

At 24 it's very easy to have it all together and seem mature...gets harder and harder as we live life.

Have a good trip Low.

RUN!!!!!!!! She makes you feel that way because she's 24 and interested in you who is 44. It's that old mid-life crisis thingy that some men go through. Confirming that you still "have it" so to speak.

Keep us updated

HUGS!

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/ooo.gif" alt="" />
What?
No "go see if you can live with this"?
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

OK, OK, peace <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />