CSJ,

In the beginning of our relationship and even in our first couple of years of marriage my husband had these kind of "friends" that would try to sway him or make him do things that were not in his favor. Most of these "friends" were guys/women that didn't have good relationships/marriages or none, or were unhappy in their lives. They wanted him to be the same way. It took years for him to realize this.

When we bought our first home we moved next door to such a "friend" he and his friends used to drink every night, he abused his wife, thought nothing of women, used to go to go-go bars. He again tried to sway my husband into doing the same things. For a while he started hanging out with him, thinking he was a good friend because he lived next door. My warnings to him, didn't penetrate into his head at first.

It took several years again for him to realize this guy was not his friend. I had a huge argument with the guy next door because one day he decided to try to abuse his wife when I was there. She was crying because of the way he had talked to her. I felt bad for her and told her, "he's just drinking and doesn't know what he's doing. The guy came out of the house and started screaming at her. I tried to tell him she didn't do anything. He told me to shut the F up and get the he-- out of his yard - that I should mind my own F--king business and so on. I blew my stack!!! I gave him a piece of my mind and told him I was not afraid of him and no man can talk to me that way. I told him he was a nothing and never will talk to me like that. He probably wanted to smack me - but I kept on giving it back to him.

My husband had to pull me away from the house next door - after this I had no use at all for this man. This incident made my husband think twice about this man - that he would actually yell and fight with me. Several months later his "friend" would also have a argument with my husband - that cooled their friendship quite a bit. Hello and goodbye only.

There is an old saying "You are who your friends are" - this is so true. You have cheaters for friends - you become a cheater. Best thing to do is stay away from these people they are not your friends.

The guy at a later time told me that no one has ever stood up to him like I did - he apologized to me - but his drinking never stopped. I think I'm probably the only one he ever apologized to and stood up to him. We renewed or friendship with this couple - but things were never the same as before.

We too, sometimes laugh at all the things this guy did, the many times he was drunk as a skunk and the cops had to come. This couple and their other friends were always drinking. Our windows would be open when were were sleeping and we would hear the fighting start - we would say, oh no, the cops are going to come again. You'd think we lived in a trailer park or something - Jerry Springer stuff. Funny thing, everytime the cops came, they parked in front of our house.

Hey MF--glad you could check in! The wagon train really was quite the experience, and I did feel a bit like Laura Ingalls! (Those were some of my favorite books growing up . . .) But my butt still hurts, darn it! It's been a while since I rode, so I guess I over did it a bit!

And that is so true that "you are who your friends are." The group mentality is a strange thing--normally good people can do the most awful things when they are just going with the crowd. And that is what my H did with his coffee buddy. I'm not saying H doesn't make dirty jokes on his own--he is a caveman, after all. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> But he uses judgment about who he is with--he'd never say stuff like that in mixed company, etc. But he goes along with it when he's with his other buddies, jokes about phone sex, and bingo--he's in the middle of a completely inappropriate relationship with a married woman. All because of stupid joke.

Anyhow--I've got to finish up a few things, so I'll sign off. Have a good night everyone!

-C.

Afternoon, all!

Geez, it's a slow day I guess???? That's probably a good sign that no one has hit any bumps for a bit. What are the Father's Day plans out there? F&L--I want to know what's on the menu at your house, I may want to drop by!

-C

bumping

CSJ...

Guess all is ok with everyone. Nothing more to add other than what we talked about. Thanks again. Will do what you said.

Good night - talk to you tomorrow.

Good night everybody--I'll check in tomorrow

-C.

Hey Everybody.....

I guess all is ok with everyone. No news is good news!


Just came back a while ago from getting my car - the "check engine" light kept coming on. It wound up to be an electric indicator pump at the bottom of the car- it indicates there's a leak in one of the hoses. It had to be replaced - cost over $300. Then my front brakes needed to be changed. By the time I left the dealer I was over $600 poorer - but, it had to be done. I can't believe I drove to Atlantic City 2-1/2 hours each way and the car was ok. I come home and drive it to the store and it starts breaking down - go figure!

I'm waiting for the sprinkler guy to come and put in a new valve for the sprinkler system. Who knows with these guys, if he's going to come. All these repair guys keep you waiting. I would have liked to go see my dad - but I have to sit around and wait for this guy. I didn't have a car for a couple of days. I went to do some work outside - cleaned the pool - it's going to go up close to 90 the next couple of days - pool time!

I'm going to cook a nice dinner for my hubby and my daughter's boyfriend (it is his birthday today) on Father's Day. I have a frozen fillet mignon that I'll cook like a roast beef - mmmmmm - it comes out so tender and juicy. They have lobsters on sale in the shoprite - will get some of those too - we'll have surf and turf. For desert we will have Flan - that's a Spanish desert if you guys don't know - I'm sure you do. It's kind of like a vanilla pudding with caramel on top. I don't like it - too sweet for me - but my husband and my daughter's boyfriend love it.

Well I want to wish everyone a nice day with their husband on Father's Day - be good to them. Drexxell, I don't know where you've been, but have a nice Father's Day too.

Afternoon F&L!

Yeah, it's been pretty light traffic here the past few days--I hope that just means that everyone is feeling good. But I hope everyone will keep checking in from time to time--I've come to really look forward to our little chats here.

Anyway, your Father's Day sounds really nice! Surf & turf sounds delicious! We are going over to H's place on Sunday for dinner. I'm not sure what H's step-mom has planned for dinner, but she asked me to cover dessert. Since rhubarb pie is a family favorite, I thought I'd make a few of those. We have a rhubarb plant in the backyard that is getting HUGE, so I guess it's about time for pie, anyway. I usually get a few batches of jam in during the summer, too. It's really good to mix ia batch of jam with either strawberry or raspberry, and then I just freeze it. Have you ever tried rhubarb?

But tonight us my H's father's day treat. I'm taking him (along with a few other couples that we do things with--his buddies and their wives) to an outdoor country music concert. I'm not much of a country music fan myself, but there are some numbers I like. And H loves it, so he is really looking forward to it. I was planning to surprise him with it, but another pal of his invited him over for guy-night BBQ tonight, so I had to spill the beans. But the girls helped me pick out a new shirt to give him for a present, so at least that part will be a surprise.

For my dad, my siblings and I got the folks tickets to the broadcast of "Prairie Home Companion" that is playing in Salt Lake at the end of this month. I talked to them this morning, and they are sooo excited to drive down and see it. Any of you listen to that show? It's on NPR every weekend, and my parents love it. I enjoy it also, although I don't catch it very regularly. It was also my parents' 39th anniversary, and mom is having a b-day next week. So we're trying to cover all the holidays with these tickets. Maybe we should have sprung for dinner, too! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Tomorrow the girls and I will go to the high school where the community theater company is doing a "princess party" to promote their upcoming play, "Beauty and the Beast." The girls are sooooo excited! They've picked out their costumes, and then there are lots of activities planned, like tiara making, face-painting, and stuff like that. Belle is supposed to be there, too. So that should be a hit.

Anyway, I'll check back on Monday, but my thoughts are with you all. Keep smiling!

-C.

Oh, almost forgot! Happy Father's Day Drex--just in case you peek in here before the weekend, just wanted to shout that out to you!

-C.

CSJ......

I'm still waiting for the sprinkler guy - I left a message on his voice mail - but he must be out doing jobs.

I've never had rhubarb - I've never really even seen it in the stores around here. They might have them in the bakeries. Does it taste like berries or strawberries? You make jam - I don't think anyone around here does that! I wouldn't even begin to know how to make that. I just make cheese cake, cherry pie and cookies. I'm not a real big pastry baker - my cheese cake is good though - eveyone loves it - I put cherries on top. I know my husband would certainly love one of those pies - too bad you couldn't ship one out for him! Home made pie - mmmmmmm gooooood!

We go to all those outdoor concerts too. They have a lot of them during the summer here in the various towns. Last year we went to several "oldies concerts" from the early 60's. They were great - just bring your own lawn chairs. We have Latin festivals, country and western - all kinds of concerts. We're not much into country and western - so we don't go to those.

Why does "Prairie Home Companion" sound so familiar? I've heard of that before - but I don't know where? I don't know what NPR is. Is that a station?

It's nice your parents have been together that long - congratulations to them and happy B-Day to your mom.

I loved "Beauty and the Beast" - when I saw the Disney movie, I was such a woosie - I cried for the Beast. It was such a beautiful movie. It's so nice that your girls are still young enough to enjoy things like that - they grow up so fast - enjoy them while you can.

Last night I had to write a letter to my 13 yr. old for a time capsule. My husband and my 18 yr. wrote one also. The school will keep it and give it to them when they graduate high school - they will not be opened until then. I started to get tears in my eyes writing it - I was remembering when she was a baby and when she was younger. I read my husband's letter and it was very touching.

My 18 yr. old did the same thing when she was her age. Upon her graduation from high school, she opened my letter - I sat next to her and we both cried. She realized everything I wrote was true and that I had faith in everything she did and that I always loved her - no matter what.

Hopefully, the 13 yr. old will realize all the things I did and scolded her for - were for her own good - to shape her future. Then when she is a young lady - I can have a good cry with her too. I told her at the end of the letter - that I hope she will never be too big for me to hug and kiss her goodnight and that she'll always be my little Angel.

Well, have a good weekend everyone!

Afternoon everybody!

I can't believe I'm the first Monday post! Everybody must be really bust and/or happy and home. Good for you!

Father's Day went by nicely--we had some good visits with family and ate lots of good food. DD1 colored cards for the grandpas and H which were so sweet, and she and DD1 were so proud to give H his present. In the Sunday School for the kids they had the little kids (DD1's class) stand up and say what they loved best about their Dad. DD1 said she loved that "my daddy plays with me." H was so pleased.

And the pies turned out yummy! Rhubarb is kind-of a unique thing, I can't really describe what it tastes like. It is quite tart, so I think it's a good compliment to strawberry and raspberry. Our grocery store usually carries it, but I just frow my own. I have read it's quite popular in the mid-west, so I know it's not just a "Utah" thing.

Mom & Dad are so excited to come to the "Prairie Home Companion." The radio station it plays on--NPR--stands for "National Public Radio." Most Universities run NPR radio programs, so I'm sure you have it out there somewhere. But it's quite funny--kind-of an old-fashioned variety show thing. They've just put out a movie about it that I think is quite popular, so you may have heard of it from the movie.

The girls loved the "Princess Party"--they've been wearing their crowns all weekend. It turned out to be a very well-organized event and was fun, even though it was VERY crowded. I'm kind-of surprised that it didn't turn into a mad house.

But the really big news is that H bought a little 1/2 acre building lot at a lake about an hour away from here. It's a really pretty spot, and there is a small town filled with small little fishing cabins. For now we'll just take the trailer there and camp, but H wants to build a cabin there "someday." I'm really proud of him for putting so much effort into something that we can all enjoy together. Like Dr. H says--you should make sure that your most enjoyable experiences are together. I hope that this little cabin can be that for our family. So H is really trying to make things right.

It's the small things I think we will continue to struggle with. Like the saying, "the devil is in the details." The details are the things that get under my skin these days: when are you going to be home, when are you going to hold my hand just because, when are you going to say thank you--I really enjoyed dinner . . . . That sort of thing.

Anyway, I hope everyone had a very nice Father's Day!

I'll check in later,

-C.

CSJ....

Hey, where is everybody??? I guess everyone is doing ok or is busy from the weekend.

Your Rhubarb pies must be a mid-west thing - we don't have them around here. I like my pies kind of tart though - I don't like really sweet stuff - so it certainly sounds like something I might like.

I knew I heard Prairie Home Companion - I just saw an advertisement in the newspaper yesterday for the movie. I was wondering where I heard that. Maybe my daughter (the one that goes to college) heard of NPR.

It's nice that you had a good family weekend. We went to church on Sunday and then we all went to see my dad - he was happy to see us all. Then the kids went in the pool - still cold 72 degrees. Hot as heck here though. At night we had our surf and turf and flan for desert. We watched tv, and played video games. It was a nice relaxing day - just the immediate family.

I can't believe that your husband can just go out and buy property like that - by the lake no less. In our neck of the woods, 1/2 an acre would probably cost you around $200/K. The property values in this area have just sky rocketed. A broken down house costs around $300/K. If we sold our home now and tried to buy it back - we couldn't afford to do it. Our house value is 2-1/2 more than when we got it 8 yrs. ago. It's totally ridiculous.

My husband also says he always wanted a cabin in the woods of Pennsylvania. But, even there, the houses/property is going up a lot. Where we live we have some property, yet we are close enough to everything. I can walk to get a gallon of milk.

Well, good night to all.

Morning F&L-

I'm glad to hear your family enjoyed a nice father's day! I love those relaxing days . . . just watching the kids play together, visitng with family . . . those are the best. We have lots of times like that with H's family--since they are almost all close-by. I'm fortunate in that I have always gotten on well with my in-laws--they are really great people and have treated me like a real daughter, not just a daughter-in-law, from the very beginning. But it does make me miss my own family. My parents live in Idaho--it's not terribly far, just 4 hours. But far enough that we can't just pop in for Sunday dinner. I wish I could have seen my Dad for Father's Day instead of just talking on the phone. But he sounded like he was having a good day and doing well.

We are excited to go to the new lake property to camp--we're taking the trailer up this weekend to get it all set up, and then next weekend we'll be all set for the weekend of the 4th. The kids are very excited. I'm surprised that he found this lot, too. Most people that have property up there really hang on to it, so you don't get many opportunities to buy anything there. Luckily the prices there haven't totally exploded, which kind-of surprises me. We are actually getting the 1/2 acre for less than what land prices are right here where we live! You'd think it would be more than that by the lake . . . . Anyway, we figured that prices will keep going up there, so even if we decided we don't want to keep the property, it is a good investment. But I am thinking we will really enjoy it. It will be nice to have a little spot where we can have a family getaway!

Well, back to work! I'll check in with you later!

-C.

Good afternoon all,

I guess everyone must be enjoying the nice summer days - no news is good news!

I saw an intersting piece on "Good Morning America"(a morning news show in the East Coast) this morning. It was about infidelity. One of the doctors said most WS's want to just be forgiven and then forget everything. He said this is not good - you should never forget - you should always remember what lead you to do this. It's very important to forget. He also said you can heal from all the pain that was inflicted on the BS. I thought it was very interesting though when he said most people just want to forget - sounds like all our situations. Everyone thinks this is the way to get past this. You have to learn from your mistakes - you can't forget them - so you will not do them again.

My 13 yr. old is having a gradution ceromony at the high school tonight - wow, where did the time go. She'll be in high school next year. My youngest one - I remember her being a baby like it was yesterday.

My car broke again - is doing the same thing it did last week - $600 later. I am so angry - what are they doing to me. The dealer is putting in new parts - what he thinks it wrong???? These dealers always have a hold on you. Now, I probably won't have a car for another couple of days again.

My older daughter had a nice birthday yesterday - she was 19 yrs. old. I got her a strawberry shortcake for her birthday. Her boyfriend cooked her a dinner - she's not a good cook - not a cook at all. He treats he so well - worships the ground she walks on. Calls me MOM - can you belive that.

CSJ.....Hope you have fun camping if I don't talk to you. Enjoy the family and especially those beautiful little princesses.

Afternoon F&L-

That's so funny that your daughter isn't a good cook! I just had this picture in my mind of you and all of your girls in the kitchen together, making some secret family recipie or something. At least she has her guy to cook for her--that's sweet that he spoils her. We all deserve to be treated like that!

I took the girls to Wal-Mart yesterday to buy them bikes. H had a little oops the other day with the trike. He backed over it with the tractor. Needless to say, it is squashed. But it's probably good timing--we only had one trike, and that was starting fights. So they each picked out their own little bike with training wheels. Now DD1 says that she loves her bike and the trike was "stupid." DD2 seems to like the bike helmet better than the bike, though. She insisted on wearing it to the babysitter's this morning. Go figure.

Anyway, I'll have to check the "Good Morning America" website and see if I can find that infidelity thing. Sounds interesting.

Have a good day!

-C.

Hi everyone
Just wanted to check in with you all. Nothing new here to report. I have actually been feeling a little better. Seems like the more time that passes the more the reality seems livable ya know?

I have been sooooo busy this week with my Hs bday plans I havent been on MB much but I am looking forward to the weekend so I can relax next week!

CSJ I wanted to ask you a legal question if you dont mind. My cleaning lady has a granddaughter who they suspect is being sexually abused. She had a fever and was not getting better and her son took her to the ER they examined her (she was constipated) and found vaginal scarring. The little girl (3 yrs) said it was the moms boyfriend and got into some graphic detail. He kept her and the the mom fought it and won till next trial date 6 weeks away. His attorney wont call them back. She speaks broken english and I just pray that all is being done to help that poor little baby. Do you have any sugestions I can pass on to her? She is horrified by the legal system and is so upset as you can imagine!

Well anyway I am glad everyone is doing ok and trudging through one more day closer to recovery. Talk with you all soon.
HF

Hi everyone,

Sorry I haven't been on in a week or so. What has happened to Drexxel?? I hope he is doing okay and he will return.

HF, I hope that the baby is okay. That is just an awful situation...

CSJ & F&L,

I have had rhubarb. We see it in the stores (it looks like big green stalks of celery only without the ridges) and in the farm markets. F&L, if you go out in the country, you may see it at the farm markets along the road, if you have those there. We see strawberry-rhubarb pie alot, even in the bigger grocery stores, but I have never made one. Like CSJ said, the rhubarb is kind of bitter so mixed w/ strawberry , it is sweeter...

I like flan alot--I have a sweet tooth for sure.

Well, just wanted to check in w/ you all.

Kids all out from school now I guess..

Hi all,

Isn't rhubarb a vegetable? I feel like an idiot because I don't know what it is. I think I saw those in the supermarkets. And of course we have farm markets - isn't Jersey the "Garden State"? We have farm markets 2 minutes from my house. Well, anyway it sounds good - we have to get some shipped to us Easterners! Flan is too sweet for me - I prefer cheesecake or brownies - I could eat a whole batch of brownies - I love chocolate!!!!! Hide those Godivas!!!

I am very down today.....my old boss that I worked for 11 years died today...she had pancreatic cancer. This was upsetting news. She lived 1-1/2 yrs. or so after finding out - she was in her early 60's. Very sad.

My cat George has stones in his bladder that he can't pass - either we operate or it's fatal. The operation is $1200-$1400 - that's so much money. He's such a loveable cat - is it worth it? I would have to put him to sleep if he doesn't have it - I feel like a murderer. I know it's an animal, but if they lived with you for 6 years, they’re part of the family.

Hoping For.....You know how I feel about child predators!!! They should all have their di--s cut off, especially when it's a baby - 3 yrs. old - I have absolutely no sympathy for someone like that. He should go to jail with the general population - they hate child molesters - let him get what he deserves, from "Bubba"!!!! Let him see how it feels!!! A lot of these foreign people are afraid of getting help - help her as much as you can. No child should be assaulted - no matter who they are. A lot of times these women stay with the boyfriend because they have no where else to go - they think they have no options - they get threatened. It is so tragic.

Personal question: Are these people legal in the US? That might have a lot of bearing on what's going on. Help her as much as you can - don't let a little girl slip thru the system if you can help. Ever since this has hit home with me - I am so adamant about things like this. This is definitely for suggestions from CSJ.

It sounds like you've been doing better - making B-Day plans - that's good. I told you, time will heal. I'm happy for you. Don't be such a stranger - even if you just have good news - tell us - keep us posted.

Afternoon everyone!

Good to see everyone check in again--everyone except Drexxel, of course! Hope he is going okay . . .

HF--that is a tough situation, I've seen stuff like that so many times, yet I still have trouble believing that there are people who really do things like that to children. I just can't wrap my head around it sometimes.

But I would suggest she contact the police department in the city where she believes the abuse occurred--waste no time because the sooner they can begin an investigation, the better the chance that they can preserve the evidence. They should also get copies of all of the medical records that address the injury, so that the detective can review that material. Tell her (she should tell her son this, also) to not try discuss the allegations with the child--kids (especially that age) are very impressionable, and if adults have repeatedly discussed the incident with the child, it could seriously compromise the investigation. If the child makes any comments about it ON HER OWN--write them down so she can remember exactly what was said. This can help coorborate a criminal case.

She should also contact the family services division in the city/county where the child lives (out here it is a county office called "Division of Child and Family Services"--I'm sure there's something similar out there). If there is abuse, they can investigate it from the civil end also. They cannot pursue criminal charges, but if the allegations are substantiated, they can initiate legal proceedings in juvenile court to remove the child from the custody of the mother. These civil investigators also can coordinate their investigations with the police--so the two frequently go hand in hand.

Good luck with that--I hope they can get that little gal some help!

MF--someone else who's had rhubarb! It is good, don't you think? My H likes just plain rhubarb pie--he's a purist. But I like to mix it for jam. Mom mom also makes a killer rhubard coffee cake. Maybe I'll get F&L talked into becoming a real rhubarb enthusiast!

Anyway--good to hear from everyone! I'll check in later,

-C.

Hi girls I have so little time right now but I wanted to thank you CSJ for the info I will pass it on to her tomorrow. F&L Rubarb looks like a big celery stick I remember my grandfather used to grow it against his greenhouse and my brother and I used to break it off and eat it raw...I wouldnt suggest for a grown up!

Have a great night! Good to talkt o everyone! Next week will be much calmer for me!
HF