|
|
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 476
Member
|
Member
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 476 |
ark, I tried to answer your questions on the other thread, but it's locked. I answered them on another thread that I guess you didn't see so here goes...paternity is established; there aren't any visitation/custody issues because my H and I are raising the OC, and the OP is married with four children, including OC, and I have three children
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,906
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,906 |
sfaj..
if you are here for help..
and you believe that there are BITTER BS...why NOT help them...
instead of labeling...
THAT"S what I can not and do not understand...
is an individuals compassion based only on others giving of it....
How sad for someone to be that hurt...
how very very sad...
not something to be thrown in their face in my opinion..
if they are too bitter to help then ignore them instead of rubbing their noses in it...
ARK
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 1,816
Administrator Member
|
|
Administrator Member
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 1,816 |
Do NOT call out other posters by name. You may voice preferences in posting styles but DO NOT use the names of other members as examples,,,,, Unless they are GOOD examples! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> If you are having a problem with a poster or their theories USE THE IGNORE FEATURE!!!! Yes, it DOES work both ways!!!!!
JustUss
Administrator/Moderator
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,808
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,808 |
Sfjaj, does the OM's wife know of the affair and the OC?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 196
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 196 |
GBH had a worthwhile post.
JUSTUSS, I am sorry to see you blotted it out!
*****and could be still useful if any references to other members was deleted********
Question:
If we use 'ignore' for certain posters, would there
posts still be seen by others on a thread we start?
****I don't know..I would think so,,,,Try it*******
Last edited by Justuss; 03/17/06 12:59 PM.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 476
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 476 |
ark, you are right. I will try to tone down the criticisms and be the better person. Sometimes it's difficult not to strike when someone is unkind and destructive. Thanks for the reminder on that. :-)
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,906
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,906 |
that's the thing..
this whole site is born of unbelievable pain for all involved...
and all this internal crap just makes me ill....
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,355
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,355 |
GBH had a worthwhile post.
JUSTUSS, I am sorry to see you blotted it out!
*****and could be still useful if any references to other members was deleted********
Question:
If we use 'ignore' for certain posters, would there
posts still be seen by others on a thread we start?
****I don't know..I would think so,,,,Try it******* Okay, I will rephrase the question, because I really do want an answer. I am an FWW, NC with FOM for nearly 18 months. I have taken responsibility for my A, realize it was a poor choice based on selfishness, am very remoreseful, and am committed to my M and my H. I and we are learning to interact such that this will never happen again. Yet someone here says I am still in the fog. When asked why, the poster brought up something I posted to another BS whose FWW was very concerned about meeting up with BS's family (he had exposed her A to them). Basically she was concerned that BS's family members would not treat her kindly and maybe hold the A over her head. I suggested to BS that he talk to his family members, explain that he and FWW are committed to recovery, and ask that his family remembers treat FWW kindly. Is suggesting that BS's family members treat FWW kindly a sign of me still being in the fog? If so, why? I truly would like to know. TIA.
Last edited by GBH; 03/17/06 03:12 PM.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 487
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 487 |
instead of labeling...
THAT"S what I can not and do not understand... Would "moral coward" be considered a label? Inquiring minds want to know...
Sing loud for the sunshine, pray hard for the rain.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 957
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 957 |
GBH,
No that wouldn't IMHO constitute FOG. You pointed out what should be considered signs of respect, care, concern, and common decency for an FWS by the FBS. I personally would not tolerate anyone in my family treating my FWW poorly and I would contact them prior to any visit and ask that they treat her with respect and dignity. To not do this would be very disrespectful to FWS, family, M, and even yourself. Just my .02
"Never argue with idiots or WSs, They just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience"
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,906
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,906 |
eldente..
tell me what you want ME to say..
and I'll say it...
you tell me what you want the answer to be..
I don't know what you are talking about...but whatever it takes to move on from this chaos I am willing to do...
just for the love of god tell me what you want...from me on this post...and it's yours....
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
that's the thing..
this whole site is born of unbelievable pain for all involved...
and all this internal crap just makes me ill.... Amen to that, hopefully it will stop and we can get back to the business of helping folks save their marriages. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 10,060
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 10,060 |
[color:"green"]arkie -
I want a green beer,
Can I get that here?
Maybe in a pint,
Maybe in a mug,
I don't care,
I just want to chug.
WAT[/color]
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
[color:"green"]arkie -
I want a green beer,
Can I get that here?
Maybe in a pint,
Maybe in a mug,
I don't care,
I just want to chug.
WAT[/color] alkie! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 487
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 487 |
tell me what you want ME to say..
and I'll say it... Your honest reply to my question. That and the possible realization that threads like these really don't help further what you seek to accomplish. I also agree with you. "Bitter" is not a nice word. If we all start using the ignore button...eh...then where will we be. I admit it, I was a bitter BS for almost a year. My bitterness found its way through my replies at times to some FWS on these boards. I point to no one except myself as being bitter(in the past). I am now a FBBS <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> It goes both ways. I've read a saying here on these forums several times that goes something like; Do you want to be right all the time or do you want to be married? I've learned a lot here from BS and WS. Your heart is in the right place with this thread, but the thread itself was destined to unravel.
Sing loud for the sunshine, pray hard for the rain.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 401
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 401 |
but the thread itself was destined to unravel. Only because of the [color:"red"]KNIT-PICKERS. [/color] BWAHAHAHAHAH! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> I crack me up. Knit-pickers...unravel...get it? Anyone? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> <crickets chirp> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />
Me (BS) 36
FWW 35
Married 5/25/91
DS-7
DD - Born 11/8/05 !!!
PA #1 12/1996
PA #2 4/01 to 1/04
NC 1/04
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
- Mahatma Gandhi
Don't think exposure is a good idea? Go here...
From Harley Himself
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,182
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,182 |
Hello....
Can some of you help Loni....her husband just left her yesterday and served her with divorce papers today!
Thank you....
Daisy
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 487
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 487 |
Only because of the KNIT-PICKERS. Now that was funny! I do sometimes knit-pick. I was a knit-picking bitter betrayed spouse. (KPBBS for short) I also was a moral coward of a WS at one time too! But today I just got a call from doc's office and was told I do not have cancer (can I get a whew!!!!) My wife still loves me. Our marriage is much better today than a year ago today and....TGIF! woo hoo!
Sing loud for the sunshine, pray hard for the rain.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 401
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 401 |
I just got a call from doc's office and was told I do not have cancer (can I get a whew!!!!) One "WHEW" coming up. Awesome news. I'm really glad to hear it Eldente.
Me (BS) 36
FWW 35
Married 5/25/91
DS-7
DD - Born 11/8/05 !!!
PA #1 12/1996
PA #2 4/01 to 1/04
NC 1/04
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
- Mahatma Gandhi
Don't think exposure is a good idea? Go here...
From Harley Himself
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 957
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 957 |
eldente,
Great News! Glad to hear it!
"Never argue with idiots or WSs, They just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience"
|
|
|
|
0 members (),
708
guests, and
56
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
|
