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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 476
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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 476 |
I really wish you good luck in your journey...I just can't post here anymore...I had assumed most were here to be helpful, but this is really just a forum where BS essentially unload their pain on WS who actually are trying to change after making errors. I hope my M continues to heal; I know it's a long road, but I hope to find another spot where people actually support one another. I think they need separate forums for BS and WS...but I have found a few on this forum who were wonderful to me.
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Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 15,284
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Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 15,284 |
sfjaj,
I do hope you decide to return, and I hope you realize that many of the people posting to you are NOT BS's. They are former WS's.
God Bless,
JL
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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 476
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JL you are definitely one who has been helpful...thank you...It's just that it is difficult enough working through the M difficulties but to be ridiculed by people who don't know me personally is not helpful
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 6,316
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AGAIN...sfjaj...I AM A FORMER WAYWARD SPOUSE!!! So is Flukette...You just aren't gonna listen to anyone that doesn't tell you want you want to hear...for THAT I pity you...BUT IT IS YOUR POOR HUSBAND THAT MY HEART TRULY BREAKS FOR...PLEASE WAKE UP, sfjaj!!!
Mrs. Wondering
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 476
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I already stated that I knew that on the other thread where you stated it, Mrs. Wondering. NO NEED TO SHOUT! Because I question a few details, I am not in recovery??????? If you could only hear how dictatorial and ridiculous that sounds. My H and I are working through our M; I confessed! which part of that did you miss??
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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 476
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Joined: Feb 2006
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And, on the contrary, I have listened and I know my A was wrong. It is you who hear nothing I say. For someone who claims to have been there at one time, you seem to remember nothing
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 428
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Posts: 428 |
I dunno sfjaj, I've seen your posts and complaints over the past few weeks and I am honestly confused.
Its like you are at the counter of a McDonalds and you are pounding your fist on the counter, demanding they serve you a Taco Bell meal. This isn't a plain old marriage support forum, it's specifically aimed at the Marriage Builder principles.
If you want a hug and a pat on the back, you can get that here, sometimes. But you are also going to get honest and brutal opinions.
If you are really leaving I honestly wish the best for you.
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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 476
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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 476 |
Nope, no pats on the back expected -- I erred. Any other criticisms on my character anyone wish to offer? Who else here is perfect in contrast to my flaws?
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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 476
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Joined: Feb 2006
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And, incidentally, I don't want Taco Bell at McDonalds, but I do expect that my order can be somewhat customized
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 977
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 977 |
Nope, no pats on the back expected -- I erred. Any other criticisms on my character anyone wish to offer? Who else here is perfect in contrast to my flaws? From one FWS to another... something that helped me accept the responsibility for my affair: Begin using the word "choice" instead of "error" to describe the affair. An error is putting too much seasoning in the meatloaf. A choice is going to bed with someone other than your spouse. Okay? I'm far, FAR from perfect. And I am truly sorry for your pain...
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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 476
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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 476 |
new beginning, you are correct: choice is more accurate
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 977
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If you remember this, sfjaj, it will make (I believe) a huge difference in your recovery -- it will be especially helpful to your H to know that he is in no way responsible for your affair. Language is very powerful.
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 428
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Any other criticisms on my character anyone wish to offer? Who else here is perfect in contrast to my flaws? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> ... oh boy ...
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Nope, no pats on the back expected -- I erred. Any other criticisms on my character anyone wish to offer? Who else here is perfect in contrast to my flaws? You feel perfectly free to critique others and the Marriage Builders program. That is all you do. Surely you don't mind that same treatment applied to you?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 42
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Posts: 42 |
it's perfectly clear to me that if you add a little cinnamon to the egg batter the french toast tastes so much better. the same can be applied to the super-quizzical nature of what youre alluding to here. when the WS is in strict opposition to your cinnamon the breakfast is all but inedible.
its a simple statement yet hard to put into practice.
code brown
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,808
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Have you told the OMW that you screwed her husband and bore his child?
I think not telling her tells us all we need to know about your character- the rest is gravy.
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Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 87
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Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 87 |
Biggles, I couldn't have said it any better myself. Your spouse is one lucky person! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Me (FWW) 34
BS 36
Married 5/25/91
DS-8
DD - Born 11/8/05
PA #1 12/1996
PA #2 4/01 to 1/04
NC 1/04
Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody's going to know whether you did it or not. - Oprah Winfrey
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 42
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well my spouse doesnt listen much but shes got her moments. recovery and redundant interest has been a significant help to all of us. especially when the going got rough when the farm burned. were getting on though. thanks.
code brown
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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 476
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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 476 |
moveforward, that post made you sound pretty pathetic! Wow, there's someone I'd want advice from...and obviously you haven't read very far in my posts before you run your mouth
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