I know there are universal things WSs do. I know there is the fog, the "I love you but am not in love with you", the acting like a teenager, blaming BS for all the marriage problems.

I want to find someplace that summarizes this stuff. Is there an article?

My WS divorced me a month ago. She has been bahaving very oddly. She betrayed me while I was at war. She went from someone that was once very warm, attentive, and affectionate to someone that was the exact opposite. She enjoys getting attention from other men and flirts heavily online. She's limiting her interaction to online, but this is what led her to betray me in the first place. She cheated sexually just one night with one man and never saw him again, but flirted a great deal with guys online.

She left me with the "hope" of getting back together in future. Said she needs a clean break to heal and find her way back to me.

I know her feelings for me are underneath the surface, time will be the only thing that brings them out. Time and the 180. She continually tells me that the time she wants right now is similar to when I broke up with her when we were dating and I had the time to see that I belonged with her. She says she is now doing the same thing. That she wants time and space. I'm just frustrated and wanting my family back together.

I would like to find some article, though, that details the psychology of a WS. It's a common game where someone betrays their spouse, treats them like crap for a while, and when the BS decides they've had enough, start to let go and move on, the WS decides they want to come back. By then it may be too late and terrible damage has been done.

I'm a very forgiving person and would be willing to work it out with her if she was sincere to committing herself to the reconciling. I also don't want to be fooling myself.

I've taken some steps to minimize my contact with her and try to get my life back in order. If anyone out there has a good article on the psychology of a WS, please let me know.

Hi Papaof3 -

Sorry that your going through this, a good book that would explain all your questions on the thinking of the WS and how to deal with your situation is, Love must be tough by Dr. Dobson. and Surviving an Affair by Dr. Harley Jr.

Usually, "I want time and space" means I don't want accountability or you interfering with me fooling around with somebody else. You might want to make a phone consultation via the marriage builders website to get some professional feedback on your situation and how to deal with it.

Take Care,
RH

I will bumb a thread you might find interseting...

not sure how to link here but will try.

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...part=1&vc=1

I just want to know where I can get info about the "fog" and how long someone can be in it. My ex is most definitely in the thick of it.

Where can I get info about "the fog"?

Papa - what kind of info do you want? Best thing to do is post some examples of what you think the fog-talk is and you'll get translators.

Read as much as you can on these forums and you'll begin to understand the mind of a wayward. Look for situations that are similar to yours and read up on them.

Basically, your W has been invaded by an alien - she is SICK. Look at it that way. The good news is that she can get better. And you can help her.

Another very good book on the psychology of an affair is "Not Just Friends".

Good luck to you buddy.