Yeah. There are those that don't believe him
I am on of them, because I have tried and tried to find some bit of remorse in your post. There is pain dripping from your post when you speak of OW?OC, the love for your OC jumps out..... but I just dont see it with W/COM. I know, I know..... you say you are but .... you never talk about what this has done to them, you dont talk about them with pride, if you say something about them then you go back to me, me, me.
You stated that you took the test, OW came out higher, W came out lower, your wife was taking the test, what score did you get?
You have given me the impression that all A are because wives dont met H EN....... but EN was you not met of your W to make her withdraw????
Healing also involves looking honestly at yourself in where YOU failed in the marriage that lead to A.... where did you fail?
Nevermind the fact that I am the sole bread winner
And because you are.... you feel you have the final say in everything, that your wish and wants are the only things that matter? My H is also the only one that brings home the bacon, but it does not mean that he can control the household, no matter who brings it home marriage is a two way street. Did you know that statement (besides going out of style 60 years ago) is listed as Emotional Abuse, with the domestic crime?
The counslor was right Times have Changed!! A woman has the right to do with her body as she wants, I do understand the part of you LIKING long hair, I have long hair also and my H does like it, but it is not my hair that he loves, it is me and would love me either way. You just dont realize the work in long hair, and that it does bring on neck pains and headaches, but it should not impacted you!
Both statements have made it sound like you have a control issue. Maybe you should check into that about yourself. The one thing about counslors is that they make you look at yourself, and point out things you dont like to see.
It is time to put your needs on the back burner and focus only on your wife if you want to really make a go of it.