Yep, call the attorney and have the attorney do contact about division of property, change the locks, he does not belong in your home (check with the attorney about this).

I have been around for years. I have studied the behavior of the WS and OW. The affair most likely had been going on from 3-6 months minimum before he moved out. They never leave unless they have somewhere to go. Trust me on this. You just need to read the OW site a few times to realize they do this ALL the time.

Your WS is the slime. He is so deep in the fog, he is not the man you know, but that man is in there somewhere.You keep your head up. Call the attorney and keep plan B. It is your only chance at this point, IMHO. Let the OW try and meet his needs. He'll find that the grass is NOT greener. Trust your gut. You are a good person. Hugs.

Dear River Tam,

I am sorry you are going through this. I went through a second D-day and can confirm that it is worse than the first. In my sitch, I thought the A was over, even with mounting evidence that it wasn't. I can't tell you how long I've beaten myself up about this. I didn't find MB until 4 mo. after d-day two. I thought it was too late to expose to OWH at that pt., something I continue to regret to this day. Melody Lane tried to convince me to do so, it sounded vendictive and really, not my job, type thinking. I wish I would have listened for my own piece of mind, it still bothers me. So I know what it is like to have good MB advice given to you and choosing to ignore it. I really think there is a BS type fog going on as well. When the fog starts to clear, you think it is soo obvious, you feel stupid and taken. Just try to learn to forgive yourself for not taking care of yourself, and your kids. I am trying to do this as well.

With prayers,

Thanks New Jersey and Nabohio for your wise words. I'm glad I've talked to a few people now who have had a "D-day #2" and am SO relieved that I'm not the only one who's felt this way.

New Jersey, I had the appointment with the atty yesterday. I was a mass of nerves beforehand, but once I walked into his office something kicked in and I was fine. We have found a couple of glaring errors in the Application for Divorce, which means we're objecting it, so this puts the ball back in his court to apply again. (Actually, the atty told me not to be surprised if they did this on purpose. Because from the day that the Application for Divorce is filed you have 12 months to divide the property, he said it wouldn't surprise him if they intended to hold me up for twelve months with repeated error-filled applications, after which there would be an automatic, inequitable split of our property and assets.) However, although we're objecting to the Application for Divorce, we're going right ahead with the division of property and assets. It's going to be an interesting few weeks as I try to put all the info together!

The atty totally understands and approves of my need to be fair in this, but when he grinned at me and said, "Let's have a bit of fun, shall we?" I grinned back and said, "Let's!" The "fun" as it happens, is not mean-spirited, but (alas) quite necessary. He asked me for the OW's name so that he can start an investigation into her financial affairs to see whether STBX has been secreting money and assets to her these past 12 months. Needless to say, STBX is going to be LIVID. I mean - he was livid when he found out I had a nickname for her, so goodness knows how he's going to react to THIS! Not that I care. It'll just be... let's say... *interesting*.

And yes, the atty also suggested a send an email to him saying, "You're not welcome to come here" and change the locks, ASAP.

Reality is hitting me, hard, but there's nothing else for it now than to charge full steam ahead.

GREAT JOB!!!! I'll grab my bag of popcorn and follow this one with you. I'm cheering for you!!! Jersey

hehe! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Well, it should all start blowing up today, as soon as the mail is in. I've changed the locks, which is well overdue, so it'll be interesting if he decides to turn up here and have it out with me.

Alright. Good job!!

Welllll... nothing's happened! No blow up or anything. And no further talk about him coming to get his stuff. It could be nothing, or it could be the quiet before the storm. I guess we'll see!

Ugh, I remember those days.... waiting for the sh*t to hit the fan. Good luck, RT!