I've been away for some time but I promise to check in at least 3 times a week.

Ow STILL pulling shytttttttt....... I want to exit the marriage but my husband is adamant to keep me here.

Gotta tell ya all... after losing my Mom, it's all coming to a free fall.... I'm menopausal, and like SunnyD , all of a sudden more fragile than before.

Texasgirls' post set me free as an oldie( I'm sooooo old lol) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

I live in the suburbs, have a fantastic family w/ our kids/granddaughter/ need more from life.

2 things...

ow's friend called h's cell about a dental bill... he told me 10 minutes later AND she's on late night tv telling people she's the mother (she IS) of 4 and selling on e-bay making 4000 a month with tapes her H (what H?) bought her... with no xtra $ to go for a modification I again feel trapped as does H.

We pay medical ins.....constantly rising AND 68% before deductable......

I want our granddaughter to have what oc (never wanted, lem) gets....

Comments?
Good, I'm ready.....
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

Was good to see you post.

Here's a great site - - www.survivingbetrayal.com. Hope to see you there.

Let Sunny and KT know about it if you're in C with them.

Thanks! I'll talk to KT. I've 'lost' Sunny.... ~sigh~

Here is what confuses me about your post. What does the OW "pulling shytttttttt" have to do with you wanting to "exit the marriage", but staying because your Husband is adamant about you staying there. I don't quite understand this.

What is it that you want?

Gem, I'm sorry she's such a piece of work and it hurts the pocketbook. I really am.

But I agree with Lem, I'm baffled as to why you'd leave you H over it this far into the game? It's not H's fault what trash she tries to pull now. You've had time to heal, reconnect... I don't get that part.

Could you tape her on tv and share that with the court next time? Ugh. Sorry,

J

Ok you guys I'll try to explain how I feel.

Somedays I think if I did D, then my mind wouldn't know or care about money. I mean it's been 5 1/2 years and things for the most part are good, then like a bolt outta the blue sky something like a new bill for oc, that cell call from ow's friend wanting to know how much H has to pay (she has a copy of the order call unnecessary) or seeing her on an infomercial, I just get angry all over again.

Not just about the money. All of the things I endured and she never got a slap on the wrist. The phone call is not supposed to happen. We have n/c. It's also in the order and she ignores it. What should we do? Hire a lawyer again? For what? She ignores the order anyway.

My Mom was diagnosed almost a year after oc was born, during that past year we went through tons if anyone remembers. I went from trying to deal with all of that to helping care for my Mom. Since she died I am experiencing anger that I must have suppressed all of this time.

Some days leaving seems easier. I don't know.

Jenny it's a good idea to tape but it's on around 3 am, anyway the time we saw it it was. I don't know what station we even had on as we were surfing.... It's about how to buy products from a warehouse and sell on e-bay....

I don't know if you understand what I'm trying to say.

My H has been good, we are doing wonderful. Then it's actually me who gets down after something like the above happens.

Not having extra cash for a lawyer right now is frustrating too. We just paid him off last Sept. after ow dropped the cs increase case ( we have nothing more to give) that she ignited a month after we moved away from her neighborhood.

I guess I live in a stste of waiting for the other shoe to drop, you know?

Also I'm missing my Mom so very much lately, reliving the last year of her life.

I probably need a pill and a good therapist, huh?

Hey, maybe next week I won't feel this way.

Thanks for everyones concern.

Debi

Aaaww Gem, the first year after death is so hard, with every season reminding you of what that person was doing that time last year. I'm so sorry for your loss.

It's like the first year after the A, meaning don't do anything rash while grieving, okay?

(((((((Gemini))))))
The best revenge is living happily. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Hugs,
J

Gem,

I'm so glad to see you on the forum again and posting. So many new people and so few vets to help guide and comfort them.



Yep. I know EXACTLY how you feel here. <<<<sigh>>>> It's tough, isn't it. Try to turn TO your H for comfort and support rather than suffering it alone. He's probably missing her alot himself.

oh

I so understand what this feels like

after 2 years ... the memories are sweeter & I don't nearly as often think about Mom in her sickness....

take the time to properly grieve...

(((((( hugs ))))))

Pep

Thanks Jenny. Everyone has said the first year is tough. It's like I'm having delayed grief or something....

Nerly I DO turn to my H and we do grieve together. His parents are way up in age and not doing so well so he kind of is seeing how it is to lose a parent. I let him know it's different than what you think. It's an ache.

Pepper first I want to tell you everything I have ever read that you've posted is helpful, you're compassionate responses to a lot of newcomers is the stroke that Catnip and Zebrababy, Nerly, Flowerseed, and a host of others did for me as a newbie. You are an added value!

So 2 years, huh? Geeze it's a long time to wait to begin to feel better.... I hope I do remember things (and I do at times) other that her tragic disease and her struggle to EXIST daily. What a trouper she was!

So you guys 'get' my feelings on my marriage? I feel as if I'm losing my mind some days. It has been a rough 5 years and w/o an oc and the outta the blue reminders from ow, I think I wouldn't think as I do.

I've been through quite enough and feel if something else happens I'll literally fall apart.

Ok, ok, I think you know.

H despises it if ow/oc things get me angry or down, he is hard on himself, he tells me as long as we remain a 'we' we'll get through anything.

But Ladies I am only human and grieving and hormonal, not to mention hot! In the menopausal way that is....

So I get times where leaving the marriage seems like a simpler life~ sigh~ You know? No ow/oc to think about creeping around the corner. I just think after all of this time it's a terrible way for me to live and continue so for 15 more years. Maybe I'm wrong. Somedays it feels so right though.

Thanks for listening~

Debi

I *get* it. I'm divorced now and I still get those twangs when something happens and it triggers a response in me and OC is no longer my problem (except when ex-ow im's me asking if I plan on having the kids get together. I'm three states away from them now. She also questions me continuously as to why Mr.T won't see their child and I reply, "Go ask him." Like I said, not my problem anymore except where it might potentially hurt my kids and I don't foresee that happening in the near future)

I miss you Gem. Please e-mail me at twiisty@yahoo.com so I can give you my new e-mail address, that goes for the rest of those that remember when I was first here. My life has changed drastically, but I still *get it* and wanted to let you know, my thoughts, hugs and prayers are with you. Always.

Twiisty