Well it’s been two years since I joined MB and a while since I posted. So here where I stand:

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> I got a job! (FINALLY) in January, after 8 months searching. My finances were devastated, so I’ve been catching up.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> I started dating. Well actually, I’ve become open to relationships. It’s been weird as well as tricky, as so many folks out here have been hurt or are afraid of being hurt.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> My kids are coping. I think that’s the one thing that has gone relatively smoothly since all of this drama started. They are beginning to understand why their parents aren’t together and form opinions about it.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> The xW married her OM. Yep. He did move down and they did get hitched. Her doings, beyond her behavior around my kids is officially NOT MY PROBLEM. My older son has begun to say he doesn’t like his step-dad while my younger is in his four-year-old bubble of bliss. They go to my church and dude strives to ‘respect’ my presence and space. A lot too little and a little too late. Good luck with THAT.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> I’ve been talking to a really wonderful lady that I actually met while I was still married. We didn’t begin talking until a couple of months ago. Seems she had her own breakup six months ago. I understand she’s got some healing to do—I’m still at it myself—so we definitely driving in the gear marked ‘friend’. It is, however, the first time in over 22 years that I honesty considered being with someone other than the xW. We’ll call that progress.

The lessons I’ve learned are hard, but tend 2 serve me well. Still hurt, plenty lonely, but better, not bitter every day. I just wanted to share with those whose road is just as rocky and those who have helped smooth mine along the way...

I was just thinking about you the other day. Aren't four year olds wonderful? I think that was my favorite age of all, especially with my DD. Good to see you again.

Indeed they are. I try to remember that my actions are imprinting all kinds of things on his little soul. I try, then to take the highest, most loving road possible.

bmp

Hi dlc!

I was wondering what had happened 2 you recently, 2.

Good 2 hear you're doing well.

-ol' 2long

2Long:

Better than last year, i'll tell U that! It's like I broke into countless pieces and in the coming together, changed.

I still hate have to 'exchange' my children with their mom on Fathers Day, like I did yesterday. I still cringe when I have to go to her new home with her OM/husband. They act so friendly and natural, as if nothing untoward occured. They shop where I shop, worship where I worship and appear everywhere my kids are.

I guess after bumping into them at the movies, mall, etc. I've become numbed 2 the pain of it all. I've seperated myself from it in some respects. I'm working back 2 happy. What they do cannot add nor subtract from that.

I've decided not to let those who don't honor me control me and my emotions. It's not easy my friend but what's the alternative?

dlc:

I think you get this stuff.

Having small kids 2 take care of and swap out with the x keeps you from getting away from the reminders by moving physically away from them. So you have 2 remove yourself mentally and spiri2ally. Indeed hard 2 do, with no reasonable alternatives. But take a look at yourself (I know you have). You've gained a lot personally by making the choice 2 deal and heal spiri2ally. I'm betting that your "love life" will start improving substantially soon as a result.

Keep us posted, it's truly good 2 hear from you.

-ol' 2long

Hi Dleigh,

You always have had a way with words. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Ditto 2long.

Hi Deleigh,

Your post reflects hope for the future and reflection of the past.

Your life is an example of the other side of recovery; the side where every bs fears and dreads going.

Thanks for showing others that life can start again once more after divorce.


Wishing you all the best for healing your broken heart and finding that one special person that deserves your love.


k.d.'s heartbreak

(((((DLC)))))

Hi, dlc. It's good to hear from you again.

You sound as though you've made significant progress...keep it up!

God bless.

Sure. Noone wants to recover from divorce. We all hope the marriage works out. Sometimes-like Father's Day-I'll find myself wondering how didn't things work out. The xW still walks around like I'm the Greatest Man Ever ("You're a great dad, "You're so loving and smart", etc.) But she still divorced me. Go figure. A's create a fog that chokes as well clouds. It takes a while to clear it.

Slow as it goes...

Hi Dleightonc! I'm glad to see you're doing so much better. Congratulations! You're so right -- no one ever wants to recover from a divorce. I'm glad you are, though. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

(And you ARE a great dad. Some things get through the fog, eh?)