Had a horrible night night before last.
Was at the table with Daughter her friends and my H eating dinner. H was wearing this t-shirt that says size 13. starts here...D friend asked..whats that supposed to mean i don't get it (they are 17yrs old) so i said oh i think its supposed to be that joke about size of your shoes...her friend oh i don't know that one and laughed she said oh are his feet size 13? I laughed and said no they are size 9 or 9.5. This was his size a few years ago and far as i knew they still were but i guess he wears 10 now and he took my remark as me making a joke...when i wasn't at all! Well he flipped right there in front of everyone which was so stupid...to even get upset over that. So he starts saying very hurtful things to me...he says well your face looks like my [censored]...and you have bucket for an [censored]...why don't you have another hot dog..he kept coming back and saying more over and over. it was humiliating...not only for me but my D, and to top it off one of her friends is overweight and i know it bothered her...especially since i was the smallest one at the table!
How do i deal with this. He comes to me the next day and says..."im sorry things got out of hand BUT you shouldn't of said that" I tried to bite my lip but couldn't, i tried to control my tears but i couldn't. I told him that he said alot of hurtful things and in front of your D friends! I told him i had no intention of what i said as a joke or to hurt you...she asked me what size youwore and i told her, he started saying "oh [censored], you meant a joke of it...i replied to him saying i know for a fact you wore that size and i showed him a shoe and said "here read it what size does it say!!!!!" i was sooo angry. i said to him even if it was a joke...does that justify all those things you said...which were many and very hurtful?? even after he left the table i went outside and tried to ask him what was going on that night and he layed in again saying "oh go have another hot dog..and started in with trying to tell me im fat, which i know for a fact im not...im 5'9" and weigh 130 lbs, so its not like im big.

I can not get over this now...i look at him and all i can think is "is this what he thinks about me? how could he say such things to me?? and to do it in front of his D and her friends."
so not sure how to get through this..he just doesn't get it, this is not the first time he has done this. He calls names when we fight and i just can't take that anymore.

Fed up, are you still here?

Your post has so much in it...I don't know where to start.

Do you know what is abusive and what is not?

Do you know about boundaries and enforcing them?

Have you read Love Busters here on this website, or the book itself?

LA